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It feels like a point of no return, gets me anxious already hahah anybody else?
My english is not my first language but i'll try my best.
Never exposed my life and problems even on internet. Been in the shadows of forums and of course social life for quite some time.
One thing I just noticed is that I care so much even to write here, always trying to sound the best way possible, its way worse when it comes to social interactions haha
The program and the forum is out there for so many time that I dont know if people actually reads it but if somebody does, some feedback and thoughts will be welcome, even on english.
I already got Tinder and Badoo on my phone and I did quite well last year but almost everyone that I dated was direct on her home or mine(started doing this after reading Playing with Fire from Alex, you must know already). The idea of a date in a bar or somewhere else gets me anxious, to be honest I never went to a bar with a girl. Also when the girl is too hot I make a way of screw the thing or postpone it. A lot of times I even postpone messaging the girls.
I think its something to work on.
My plan was doing the drill on my way to the gym or back home but I forgot about it. On my way back home tried to do with a group of girls and couldn't. Found no girls until I was almost home. Asked to a group of woman and girl, an ugly woman, couple of guys (I was getting home), a couple (the girl took the phone of her boyfriend to see the time and he was on a call). Today was bad because I didn't want to lose the day. My thoughts going home was of failure but now i'm happy that at least did something.
Talked with 2 pretty girls on the way for the gym, couldn't talk with the first I saw because it was a bus stop and there was so many people. Leaving the gym asked for one average looking girl with a woman, a middle age woman, a hot girl with a woman, another middle age woman and a girl at a bus stop on the other side of the street(just to challenge myself a little more) and another woman. One after another, it was fast I think.
I don't know if the journal is suppose to be this way. But I'll continue like that.
Well, it is already liberating, I dont feeling like just doing the things I need and go home with my mind in a cage...
Day 5 again:
Decided to do day 5 again, 8 girls and women in a row fast. I don't even remember the details. Did the day 6 drill one time, but then I remembered I was going to do day 5 again haha yeah it's a little harder as expected.
It rained today. I could've done the drill on closed places but I didn't, too many excuses. I'll not let these kind of situations get in the way anymore.
On my head when I'll talk to someone stranger with bunch of people close it wont work or will be awkward. I start thinking about the people looking instead of the interaction that i'm in. I have noticed that I really got problem with groups, even with friends I feel that i'm closed and in my head.
I'm pretty sure that I did more than 5 sets, but it was a little mess because sometimes I asked 'have you been there?' on the second girl instead of the third. Or sometimes asked about something else. But in general it was more than 15 girls/women.
I tried to challenge myself a little bit more going to groups or women close to groups. What I didn't like was that there is just a few really hot girls. I did the drills in the morning. The hotter was a transgender(giant cleavage) that I only noticed when I came closer.
Did two sets in the morning. Went to work and slow started to feel angry and frustrated, some problems at the work and also when I do not socialize the way I want or avoid something related I start to feel mad and its like a snowball and at the end I usually end up in my room feeling like shit.
After work gathered some strenght and went out. Now I really understand the concept of momentum or state or whatever. In the beginning was hard, mainly the third part of the drill. I don't know if I did it wrong but I started asking only the time first and completed the two part remaining later.
Happy that I did but not with my performance, maybe i'll repeat it.
Today I was going to do an off day. But decided not to, and also decided to move on with the drills. When I left home I was a little bit anxious already, asked the time for the first girl I saw, she was so fuckin cute.
At night so many pretty girls but almost all of them in groups or couples, did only 2 sets (4 girls and 4 groups). It took almost 1 hour.
I skipped some cute girls in groups and some alone but I guess I did well talking to really cute stranger girls, different from the other days that the girls wasnt that beautiful.
Yesterday and today raining hard and also got some problems. I was going to get 2 off days but I dont want this to snowball and start making excuses. So now almost 11pm decided to go out and do at least the 2 sets that was missing from the other day. But I still going to repeat day 8.
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I didn't think the "Get Hung" guide would have girls eyeing my bulge. It did.
I didn't think that your exercise and diet advice would have girls checking me out. It did.
I DEFINITELY didn't think that your hair-loss prevention would fix my hairline. Not in a billion years. It mother fucking did. You saved me a crazy amount of time, a ton of money, unnecessary pain, and destroyed my #1 source of anxiety. DESTROYED IT.
Kratom is next!
To anyone reading this, follow through, read this material, APPLY this material, and enjoy life.