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You can do it man. One step at a time. Do the drills, in order, exactly as they are written in the program. Take the good results, the bad results and the ugly and report back here.
Embrace the feelings you will get from these experiences. Learn to overcome adversity and social tension in other parts of life . (eg. dealing with a bank teller, fighting a parking ticket in count, arguing with a cop on a routine traffic stop, big sales presentation, big "why should we not fire you" presentation)
This throws up a lot of alarms to the original elite members on GLL - but not everything here is scripture. Chris gets laid because he embraces a stereotype and goes out of his way to create good logistics, knows exactly what he wants, and hits the numbers (keeps trying the same thing 100+ times before evening THINKING about making some kind of adjustment).
Being that direct in approach will only work on a particular type of woman, and you need to look and act a particular type of way. Fake it until you make it, yes, but understand the full extents of what you need to fake.
Hitting on a 22yo brunette bombshell (in a high skirt and essentially a folded napkin blouse holding up her gleaming 35D breasts) as I sat next to in Starbuck today, means you are assuming the role of a young college player guy, sitting in a Starbucks alone, who becomes an extrovert all of a sudden, HAS logistics (car a few steps outside), KNOWS what to say to her (can talk about the latest Taylor Swift scandal or Eminem's drop album), DOESN"T give a fuck what anyone else in the store or outside thinks of him, and can PROGRESS the interaction quickly and *smoothly enough* to keep her strumming along, to a predetermined conclusion (having sex in your car, OR getting her number and setting up a date in person before leaving).
Some or much of it may not work for you, who you are as a personality, where you life physically, where you line up with other predisposed values, and what you are truly willing to change.
(Lifetime) Lay count - 58
Fuck 100 Women by 12/31/2020 - Made 58 by 12/31/20
Winter 2021 Goal - Committed relationship with legit hottie
Move to Brooklyn, walking distance access to multiple hot bars - completed 06/07/19 (Long Island City)
I'm finding myself stuck on Day 3. I feel completely unprepared for making a dating profile. I don't have any photos of myself, I don't have any social media, and all I got is a $50 smartphone to take photos with. Stats wise, I'm 5' 7''/170cm tall, weigh 130 lbs/59 kg, and I'm okay looking face-wise.
Is it worth setting up a profile on POF with these cards, or would I benefit more from going on to Day 4 and coming back to this later?
Do day 4 now, but you also need to do online dating ASAP. As in, get it sorted in the next, say, 5 days.
Do you have ANY photos of yourself? Have your friends EVER taken a photo of you, even in a group? Send all your friends a message, "Hey dude this is random but do you have any photos of me on your phone? Even photos of me in a group?" Ask your family members the same thing.
If not, take a few selfies in your bathroom. They'll look awful, but it's literally better than nothing at all.
I skipped dating girls all together when doing the aa program and i got through to week 7 with only a single date at some point in week 5. This was VERY difficult without the affirmation of dates and i strongly suggest that you not go the route that i did since i was lacking much needed confidence and wasting tons of time from being too unconfident to pull out the reps. The online dating scene as of this year personally doesn't work for me so i wouldn't blame you for skipping it (it only makes me more insecure at this point). Just make sure you are getting some experience with girls elsewhere while doing the program and if you need inspiration for doing the reps with no dates just read my log.
Since it's warm outside, there were plenty of girls everywhere on campus. I made sure to walk past girls sitting on benches, standing with their smartphones, waiting for their bus, or ones walking past me with their smartphone what the time was. It took me around 30 minutes total. It was harder at first, but as I finished the exercise I felt more willing to make comments or talk to other people.
Tomorrow, I'm gonna try to do Day 5 and also set time aside to set up a profile on POF for Day 3. The profile might suck for now, but I'll improve it and make it better over time.
Some family things happened during last week and fucked me up for a bit. I'm getting back on track this week.
Day 5: What I did:
It took me around 30 minutes to do the exercise the first time. I felt self-conscious about approaching girls too close together, so I'd walk around campus for awhile looking for easier targets (sitting already or headed towards me with a phone already out). For the second set, I finished in around 5-10 min. I still let most girls go by me, but I definitely seized open opportunities more quickly to get it done.
Day 6: What I did:
Now this is where I started to run into trouble. I had times where I messed up the order of things, so I had to start a couple sets over a few times. I felt weird asking for the time, then directions, and asking if they had been there was harder to do than I thought it would be. I ended up adding other questions to make the conversation feel more natural, but I'm not sure if these drills are supposed to be exactly by the book, or if it's cool to add things as long as the basics of the drill are done.
I also ran into more obstacles this time around. I took an hour and finished 3 sets, then thought I'd take a break and do classes then get back into it. It was harder to get going again after the break. I got 1 set and 1/3 of the last set done. I was so close. I did have more trouble stopping girls with multiple questions instead of just one. I even had one girl say "sorry, I can't" or something along those lines when I just asked for the time.
Oh yeah, including mistakes and flakey girl, I talked to 15+ girls today which is pretty sweet.
So for finishing a day, do I simply do the remainder of the sets I didn't finish, or do I restart from the beginning?
Also, I almost got my POF account running. I feel really self-conscious about the whole thing, but I said I was going to make one so it'll be going up soon. I'm feeling doubtful I can pull off the cool/sexy/etc. stuff right now.
Day 7: What I did:
I finished all my sets for day 7 and did an extra set for day 6, so I consider both completed. I can't believe I made it through week 1. I'm pretty proud of myself.
I managed to approach the first girl walking towards me on the sidewalk. It's weird. I have all these anxious thoughts going through my head as I'm looking for girls to approach, but once I pull the trigger and I'm there talking to her it's not so bad. I started to feel tired of missing out on targets because they were wearing sunglasses or sunglasses+earbuds, so I went for it. I expected to get turned away immediately, but they stopped after I said hello and I was able to get the drill done. It makes me rethink how I originally thought girls would act when I talked to them.
Also, I approached this one girl who was by herself with no one else around. She had her cleavage just hanging out, and she sounded like a bit of a pothead. She said she was a transfer student, she was nice, and had a good vibe. It was really tempting to try and turn it into an approach and try to get a number. The temptation is real.
Day 8: What I did:
This day was all kinds of fucky. I know the goal right now is to become outcome independent, but I'm not there yet. I got through two drills and 2/4 of the third, but the last girl I talked to got me fucked up.
I talked to a group of two girls to get the time which is something I usually avoid. I almost always pass up girls in groups of two or more, so this was a solid first approach out of the way. Today I found myself getting more extreme reactions. I would ask for the time, and sometimes immediately get blown off and told they had to get to class. I even had one girl do a double take, say she had to go to class, realize I all asked for was the time, then turn around and give it to me. I felt weird about these reactions because I wasn't even on the hunt for pussy.
I talked to a cute freshman girl, who was bubbly and seemed happy to give me directions even though she had no idea where anything was. I talked to an older gal who still had some charm. She didn't know where the building was that I asked for, but then another cute girl jumped in nearby to help me out. She was talkative and even went as far as to go onto her phone and look up directions to help me.
Then after that, I asked a girl for the time, and she gave me a shiteating grin and said something along the lines of "I'm sorry, I can't" with some attitude tossed in. She also had her phone in her hand that she was looking at a second ago. I guess it fucked me up because I never encountered a blatant "no" like that just for asking for the time. I ended up going into a tailspin and bailed out of the remaining approaches.
Day 8 turned out to be a bigger challenge for me than I originally thought. I'm going to retry the drill from the beginning tomorrow and get shit done.
Day 8 (Redo): What I did:
I repeated all the sets for this drill. This time, I got through every one. Going off yesterday, it was hard for me to get started and keep it going. I would stop periodically and consider giving up, but I knew if I gave up now, then what's going to stop me from making the same excuses later? It took a couple hours, and I got it all finished.
Stationary girls are by far the easiest way to get this done. Girls walking towards me are more risky, but I find if I can get their attention at least 8 ft. away from me, it's easier to get them to stop. Girls with earbuds, sunglasses, with a friend or group of other girls, and the really hot girls are definitely the more challenging types to approach and I tend not to do it for these ones.
There are plenty of pretty girls around campus, but I found the really hot girls, the kind that only show up rarely even on a big campus, are by far the most intimidating girls for me.
I also talked to another girl who was a cute, small freshman. She was completely bubbly and seemed happy I approached her and talked to her. I'm starting to wonder how much of the other girls are just jaded for whatever reason. Either way, thank fuck for cute freshman girls.
I usually work and study over the weekend, so my approaching is done mon.-thurs if you happen see me disappear here for awhile.
Day 9: What I did:
I finished about 2 and 1/3 of the sets for today's drills. I think I'm trying to be smooth and wait for perfect opportunities. I find myself resisting girls passing me by because they're with friends or with a guy or whatever else it might be.
I keep waiting for a moment when a girl happens to be walking towards me without a lot of people walking around, or when she's stationary and close to the sidewalk so as to make everything seem more natural.
The funny thing is, there's no way this can come off "perfect" or "natural" no matter how I decide to approach the girl. Walking up to a girl, asking for the time, then asking if she's ever eaten at "x place", and just walking away is already weird/awkward. So it really doesn't matter how perfect the approach is because there's going to be some awkward shit going down anyway.
My goal for tomorrow's drills to get it done faster not because I'm rushing things, but because I'm giving myself permission to be weird/awkward to get these drills done.
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I didn't think the "Get Hung" guide would have girls eyeing my bulge. It did.
I didn't think that your exercise and diet advice would have girls checking me out. It did.
I DEFINITELY didn't think that your hair-loss prevention would fix my hairline. Not in a billion years. It mother fucking did. You saved me a crazy amount of time, a ton of money, unnecessary pain, and destroyed my #1 source of anxiety. DESTROYED IT.
Kratom is next!
To anyone reading this, follow through, read this material, APPLY this material, and enjoy life.