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Day 13 Whine
Today was a lot more like I expected yesterday to be, I completed the drill, I knew the drill itself wasn´t the problem, it was actually easier than Day 12.
I noticed though that it´s taking me too much time, I keep telling myself it´s because there aren’t too many girls but the actual reason is I´m still letting girls slip by. Also, I tried to give at least one hive five but that didn´t work, I think because I wasn´t really committed.
Today was good nonetheless, I moved forward, as long as I keep doing that success is inevitable.
Day 14a High Fives
I knew today would be tough, in fact it has been the toughest drill I have done so far, I was walking for like an hour before I did anything, I knew I just had to get myself to raise my hand and say “bump this” (which the closest translation to “high five” where I live) but damn it was difficult.
All kinds of thoughts crossed my mind, from “c´mon, how is this gonna help me get over my AA and approach girls?”, to “this is it, it was a good journey but this is as far as I go, I guess I don´t have what it takes”, until I said “Enough!! How can I expect to be able to aggressively approach hot girls if I cannot give one a simple high five?”
Then, like a sign, I saw 3 latinas walking my way, I thought “This is it” and when they were about to pass me by I told the hottest one (which was also the one closest to me), “Wait wait, bump this”, the reaction was great, they all started to laugh as she raised her hand to meet mine, man her palm felt amazing.
After that I gave 9 more before I went to the gym, almost all the reactions were good, at one point there was this blonde who wasn´t even that hot that I told “Hey! Bump this” and she just kept walking, I just shouted at her “YOU SERIOUSLY NOT GONNA BUMP?”, not angry obviously, like what´s wrong with her, all the cool girls did it.
Anyways, HUGE win today, I had this idea that if I tried to do it suddenly, out of nowhere a spotlight would point at me and everybody would start laughing and look at me like I was the biggest creep on the planet but strangely that didn’t happen.
Went out today to do Day 14b, yeah right, I didn´t get in there at all and got stuck in my head, no idea why this happened, I kept telling myself, “C´mon, did this 2 days ago” “I just have to get that first one and it´ll be easy after that”.
2 hours in I saw two blonde tourists sitting and after a minute of reflection I started walking towards them, (what really convinced me was the chance to actually say high five to them, like in English) it´s amazing how as I got closer to them I started to feel sick in my stomach and I could feel my heart pounding in my chest, then, in a last minute decision, past right in front of them and I just kept walking, What a fucking pussy!!!
Then after another minute of reflection I give it another try, I´m not failing this time, I stand in front of them, raise my hand and say “High Five” to the hottest one, she looks at me up and down, gives me a look I won´t be forgetting any time soon and does the opposite of nodding, Fuck.
I felt good I did it but it certainly didn´t help my social momentum, walked around for another hour and then went to the gym.
Will be repeating this day.
I´ve been reading the AA vlogs of killtheinnerloser and Bad Idea Bear and this guys were killing this drills, I have to get more serious about this shit.
Re: other people's logs, remember this is YOUR journey; it'll be totally different to anyone else's AA journey. I know it's hard but try not to compare yourself to anyone else (took me a long time to learn this lesson).
(That said, you can always do better; we all can. Go kick ass tomorrow).
Have not been able to post this last few days, went through Day 14, 15 and today Day 16, wasn´t too hard because I did some standing girls yesterday, couldn’t do the challenge though, I only saw 1 smoking girl and she didn´t high five me, the hardest part with this high five drills, even more so than with others, is definitely getting started, is SO much easier after that first one.
Went out Saturday night, at one point I was talking to a friend and I just couldn’t concentrate on what he was saying, every girl that walked near us got my attention (we had had some beers), then I saw this hot petite girl with short hair talking to her friends, as soon as I started to consider approaching her I could feel the anxiety building inside me, it was just like with the drills.
I decided what I would say and just started moving my feet without saying anything to my friend, man my heart was racing, I said something like “the time you spent at home dressing up and getting ready was totally worth it, you look incredible” I read this line in David X´s book Be Relentless, it was not a bad line but the delivery was TERRIBLE, I didn´t just looked nervous as fuck but I sounded SO fake, like it was completely rehearsed. She said thanks and looked away to her friends, I hung in there a little and asked her a few more questions before ejecting.
Despite the outcome I felt GREAT, I fucking executed, I didn’t care about anyone watching me or that she was with friends, I just saw a girl I liked and I acted on it, the beer definitely helped, I had approached in the past but had not been able to do it lately, so glad I did it, I have to figure out how to get to that state whilst being completely sober.
Day 17 (ABC´s)
Tried it yesterday, walked around for 3 hours, nothing.
Tried again today, wasted 2 hours before going to the gym, FUCK, I´m hitting a wall, I guess I still care too much about what people think of me or how I look.
I don’t care how long it takes, I said I would finish the program and I´m doing it, I just don’t know why this is so fucking hard to me.
Almost all my friends and family think I´m crazy for all the self-improvement stuff I´m into, which is something I´ve always been proud of (I don´t want to be normal at all) and I usually have no problem getting myself to do things like no porn and almost no masturbation, waking up super early, not sleeping at all some nights cramming for tests, taking cold showers, going to the gym, dieting, once I went 36 hours without any food or water, actually not as difficult as I thought it would be, but this is THE hardest thing I have ever attempted, fuck, the greatest heroes are the ones that overcome the greatest challenges. (that list seemed a lot more impressive in my head)
It´s almost a contradiction because I tell myself I really want this, not like the average guy who says he “wants” to improve but isn’t willing to do anything about it, I´m willing, I go to bed every night saying to myself: “I´m gonna kill it tomorrow”, then I go out and spend 3 hours struggling, whereas if I really wanted it as bad as I say I do, like Chris says I wouldn´t care about rejection or anything else.
I know action is the key and I spend 90% of my time talking, reading and thinking about this stuff and about how can I get myself to take more fucking action, which also feels like a waste of time because, again, action is the only thing that matters, not talking reading or thinking, fuck, I´m in a pickle, and I know I´m just being a whiny little bitch right now and that there are a lot of guys who had it much worse and prevailed without complaining this much.
But the fact you're still on the attack mode despite the "failure" is why you will succeed.
You hit a wall, fine. Get back up and attack it again.
Fall again ? Step back, back up, attack again.
Eventually you'll knock it down and this will be it.
I was walking for 4 hours today doing nothing but being a chicken.
I had a different excuse for every different girl, then I saw the hottest, most beautiful girl I have seen all week, standing by herself, doing something on her phone, in what was almost a perfect setting, I swear she was even wearing a red fucking dress. This was a decisive moment and I knew it. I tried everything to get myself to just start moving my feet towards her and I actually succeeded in that, 3 times, and 3 times I walked past her without saying a thing. Then she just left, I thought of chasing her but for what? I had all the time in the world and did nothing.
This made me really understand what Chris talks about. I used to think that how easy or fast people completed the drills had a lot to do with level of anxiety they had starting out, that took a lot of pressure of, it was convenient for me to think that. I now see that it´s not a matter of anxiety, it would be if the program said I had to do the drills in a smooth or confident manner, but all it says I have to do is execute, it really is a matter of BALLS. I know there is no logical reason not to approach so it´s just a matter of having the COURAGE to put myself through the "pain" and awkwardness of the situation.
Just like Chris said, you ALWAYS have the option of facing your fear, you can always CHOOSE to move your feet, walk up to the girl and move your mouth, despite any fear you might be feeling, what´s the worst that could happen? you faint? well, at least you fainted like a man, today I chose to keep walking the 3 times and I chose to stay inside my comfort zone being a huge pussy.
I´ve been writing a lot recently compared to what I´ve actually done, the next time I post here will be to say I killed this drill.
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