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LastTrain wrote: Hey bro. My anxiety always builds up when I take time off too. Don't beat yourself up too much for partying. Have you hit the recommended 30 approaches since starting week 7? Also how's the no-fap going? Wanted you to know I really appreciate what you said to me about the dating stuff.
I think I've only done like 10-15 approaches and gotten 5 numbers so far. It's been about a week since I've done any real approaches. I've just been working on the drills. As far as no fap goes, I probably end up doing it once a week right now. I want to reduce that to 0, but I usually have a bad day where I say fuck it.
"I know this random but I thought you were cute and wanted to say hi", "Aren't you going to tell me that I'm cute too?", I'm [Name], Handshake. (do on both girls). Leave.
So this drill was pretty weird like the one before it. Groups are one of the harder things for me to do. Once I got over going up to groups to do the easier part it wasn't a big deal to keep on going. Almost all the girls I talked to first were pretty excited. I was surprised that whoever they were talking to just shut up and pretended not to hear me. This one shy asian girl actually turned and faced the other way from me haha. Doing the drill on second girl kind of pissed off the first girl, as expected. I usually got less than positive reactions from the second girl too. I cracked up as I was walking away from these. This isn't really a practical thing to do, just a way to work on social freedom and not giving a fuck.
I could use some more work on groups. I don't think doing this drill more will help. At least not the both girls part. I'll try to do some approaches on groups sometime soon. It's good to know the friends might leave me alone if the girl is available.
Hey (STOP HER), I'm [Name], Handshake, Leave. x 20
I'm [Name], Handshake, Leave. x 20+
So this one is pretty easy. I did it almost entirely on girls walking the other way. I got a lot of rejections on this. I think girls probably thought I was soliciting something. It's also pretty hard to do the second part on a lot of girls without getting their attention first. So many of them are wearing headphones or just not paying much attention at all. This is the first drill in a while where I'm not hitting on the girl or telling her she's cute. It felt a bit weird, though it's obviously getting me ready to do the sexy one next. That one is giving me some anxiety. I'll see if I can get it started today.
No that's the most up-to-date one with just the audio/videos of him doing the drills.
With groups, yeah that's what I've seen too. When you start hitting on one girl, the other girl tends to let you do it, and respectfully gives you some space. To get more practice with groups, try just doing any of the drills on girls in groups.
Hey (STOP HER), I'm [Name], Handshake, Leave. x 5
Hey (STOP HER), I'm [Name], You're sexy, Handshake, Leave. x 15
You're sexy (STAND IN HER WAY), I'm [Name], Handshake, Leave. x 15
This drill was a mother fucker to do. I had a little bit more anxiety about doing this than just the handshake ones on day 54, but it didn't seem too much harder. Unfortunately actually getting this done was really hard. Almost every girl seemed shocked when I said this and didn't reply with much more than "o" or some kind of a WTF response then ran off. It made getting handshakes after I said it really hard. A lot of the time I had to follow them a bit and really push it to get them to shake my hand. I don't know if it's just this college campus full of rich sheltered kids or what, but from reading other logs I didn't expect reactions to be so bad or to have to approach so many girls to get the required hand shakes. This took me hours.
When I did other drills on the same campus opening with the I know this is random line I got 95% really positive reactions and at least 25% of the girls stood there and wanted to talk after. I don't think I had a single girl today want to stick around and talk to me and I probably talked to about 60 girls.
This shit is good exposure therapy for sure and I might do it more, but I can't see myself approaching with this during the day time. I'm going to try this out at night in the day 47 drill. I still need to finish that off since I'm not counting it until I do it without drinking.
I doubt I'm going to be able to finish week 8 entirely in the next few days like I was shooting for. We'll see how tomorrow goes. If the drill is pretty hard I might spend the weekend doing approaches in places where I have extra anxiety to build my confidence back up a bit. Some of this week 7 stuff has been making me feel like a weirdo that just scares girls off.
I did day 56 last Friday, but didn't completely finish it. The college campus I went to doesn't seem to have many classes on Friday so there were hardly any girls around to drill on. I was getting denied a good amount on the handshakes and hand holds too, which started to piss me off so I left early. These recent drills left me feeling kind of shitty after I did them, so I took the last few days off.
I want to start doing real approaches on a daily basis. My anxiety doing approaches now is fairly low once I get going, but I feel like going out to do drills has been a totally separate part of my life. I go drive to a college campus and talk to girls for a few hours in an environment I don't usually spend time in. Then I go home and I don't talk to girls throughout the rest of my life at all. I need to make it a habit to approach daily to really make cold approaching a part of my life. My goal right now is to approach at least 5 girls a day going forward and ask them out. I'll finish up the week 8 drills in a week or two once I've turned this into a habit.
I approached 5 girls today, unfortunately none of them were available. I'm still using the line, "aren't you going to tell me I'm cute too". That's a fun line to use. It felt good to do some approaches after a few days off. It's kind of surprising that some of these girls will let me stand there and talk to them for a few minutes after I hit on them and not tell me they have a boyfriend until I ask them out.
Got in my 5 approaches for the day. One number, another under 21 college girl haha. She was pretty friendly and turned out to work a block where from I live so I walked with her a while. She was kind of shy and a bit hesitant to give me her number. I probably won't see her again, but I'll shoot her a text tomorrow to see. Also of note, next time if a girl tells me she's in a rush to catch her train I should walk along with her even though she's going the other way. I'm pretty sure I could've gotten another number out of that since the girl told me she hopes she sees me around soon.
Today can suck a dick.... I went out today during my lunch do to some approaches like I've normally done. I got a text from my ex-girl from last years for the first time like 5-6 months. I ignored it at first and tried to do some approaches but was in a weird mood and kind of anxious because of it. I really liked that girl and have been trying to avoid her for months but it made approaching hard today.
I went out again later when I cleared my mind to do some approaches early in the night around 8 or 9 and she texted me again before I got going. It bothers me because I still really care about that girl. It kind of ruined my approaches for today. I did go out until 2AM though and talked to a lot of girls pretty aggressively. Going out late and alone though is pretty shitty odds around here unless I talk to tons of girls and bail immediately when I don't think they're DTF. I easily did 5 approaches though they were all slightly drunk, but I'm still counting it towards my 5 for the day. Girls around here after 12 especially when they're getting kicked out of bars after 1, are giant cunts. Or they have a friend is a giant cunt for them. It really makes me hate talking to girls out at bars, especially when I know day game has way better odds.
I need to spend a bit more time hitting on girls at bars and trying to take them home earlier, but all this shit just motivates me to hit on girls earlier during the day. Night game just seems like such garbage odds and a bunch of annoying drunk girl bullshit to try to deal with. Unless I'm doing social circle club scene game, going out to bars just seems like such a waste of time of energy for me to get laid. I'm honestly sick of drunk girls at bars.
Hang in there brother. It's funny how as soon as you start getting your shit together that's when they decide they hit you up. I like how you went out to hit on girls at night even though you weren't really feeling it. I feel like thats so important for building momentum and getting yourself out of a rut. Love your plan too I want to do the same (hit on 5 girls a day). That's like 500+ approaches in 3-4 months. By then we'll be rolling in pussy and approaching like bosses!
Congratulations on finishing week 7 too man, that's crazy!
I'm glad I went out and did something, but I really need to go out without drinking. It's just so hard to be around annoying drunk people while I'm sober. I think what's really important for me right now is to push myself to approach every day no matter how I feel. Having that discipline and consistent effort for a few weeks will turn approaching into a habit and something I just do without thinking about too much anymore.
I hear you. I want to start going out at night by myself more but I wind up talking myself out of it. I've been so lazy about finishing day 47. The thing with going out at night that I can't deny is that that's were lots of DTF girls are. However I just prefer hitting on them in the day I guess. Like you said, at night you just have to deal with more bullshit and obstacles. But I imagine the ROI is higher.
Yeah I still kind of need to make it a point to do approaches. It's like I'm either in "approach mode" or "civilian mode" haha. Want to be able to hit on them regardless of the situation though.
LastTrain wrote: Yeah I still kind of need to make it a point to do approaches. It's like I'm either in "approach mode" or "civilian mode" haha. Want to be able to hit on them regardless of the situation though.
Yeah, this is something I had in my notes also: "I can approach now - without much AA many times. But I'm not at the point where it's a part of my identity. That's what needs to change."
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