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This is my second attempt at this. The first one was 4 years ago. I ended up failing from having a lot of anxiety from a cycle I was doing at the time and having success from the online dating I started at the same time. I've had a good amount of success from the online dating I've done, but I still feel way more anxious than I'd like to meeting new girls in person. The older I get the most pressure I feel to get this handled. The last 4 years have just flown by.
I already have an active OKC and Tinder account I use a bit. It's not working as well as I'd like it to any more so I'd like to try to meet more girls in person, which is why I'm doing this AA program.
I made plans with a girl for this next weekend to get a drink at a bar near where I live.
I used to have some anxiety with talking to girls online and asking them out. Now that I've done it hundreds of times over the last 5 years and gone out with 50-100 girls from it I don't really have anxiety from it anymore. Though my motivation to use it is low a lot of the time. I still make sure to get on and like all the girls profiles and send a few messages out to girls every so often.
I think I'm going to skip ahead to day 4 since this isn't new for me.
I completed the first drill asking 5 girls for the time.
I first attempted this at the grocery store while I was there, but felt weird doing it. I only ended up asking one girl because she was standing next to me and I think worked there. After that I took a walk outside downtown, where I live, for 20-30 minutes. I asked a few girls stopped at corners that were with other people, and then ended up stopping two girls while they were walking by.
It feels a bit strange to ask people for the time when I already know, but I did it anyways. Over all it wasn't too bad and I'm glad I did it.
I asked 5 girls for the time. Initially I tried to do this on the way to work. I only ended up talking to a few girls. So finished up 30 minutes later. Total time was about 25 minutes.
A couple hours later I took a walk before I ate lunch and asked another 5 girls for the time. It took about 10 minutes. I could've done this faster, but I felt slightly anxious about asking someone close enough to the first that someone might notice I asked twice.
Overall this wasn't too hard. After I finished I felt a little bit more confident and chatty than I was before. I've had a lot of anxiety recently from stopping regular use of kratom, phenibut, and caffeine. I'm starting to feel better though and I think this program is going to help as well.
I went out and asked 15 girls for the time, then where a place was, and if they've been there. I ended up asking for the time once to start without doing the other parts. The rest of the times I asked all of the parts except for a couple times when people had no idea where I was asking about it. When that happened I said something like "you've never been there?". I tried to find attractive girls that were by themselves or maybe with another girl. I definitely asked a few middle aged women and less attractive younger girls though. Overall I spent around 2 hours walking around doing this. Though I took a break an ate for 15 minutes after 9 and then did the last 6 in about 20 minutes. So I was getting faster and more comfortable doing it.
I feel less strange asking for the time today compared to the first day, and asking directions doesn't bother me at all.
Overall my anxiety has been high this week, but while doing these drills I actually don't feel so bad. I think it's because I'm out of the house walking around with a purpose.
My one date from online flaked this week saying she was dating someone else now. I'll try to put some more effort into online dating this week, but it hasn't been working as well since okcupid only sends your messages to people who've liked you.
I did the drill for day 7 where I went up and asked a girl for the time, then another girl for the time and directions, then another girl for the time directions and have you been there. I did the time only one 2 or 3 times and then asked directions the rest of the times. If they knew where it was I usually asked if they've been there too. Overall I spent about an hour doing this, though I took at least 20 minutes to eat in the middle. So this was a faster day than yesterday.
Overall I felt pretty good, though I was hungover and had some kratom and caffeine to get me going.
My one okcupid date for last week flaked on me so I haven't been on any dates in a couple weeks now. I'm planning to get together this week sometime with another girl from okcupid. I also got a girls number at a bar last night while I was out with friends, so I'll plan to get together with her again too.
I went out and did the drills for the day where I asked for the time, directions, have you been there, and do you like it. I tried my best not to hesitate and get the drills done as fast as possible. Most of the time I asked for the time and directions and have you been there instead of just the time. Then as long as people were talking to me and not running off I asked do you like it. Some girls actually told me they liked it before I even asked haha. I completed this in a little under an hour, with a short 5-10 minute break for food.
Overall an easy day for me. I did have some kratom before I went out to do this, which put me in a much friendlier and less anxious mood. I'm going to avoid using it most days though. I want to actually feel more anxiety so I can desensitize myself to it more.
I'm considering going through this faster and doing the next day when I have time and the day goes well.
I have one okcupid date planned for later this week.
Today I did the drill where I ask the time, then the time and have you eaten at a restaurant, and then time have you eaten there and did you like it. I did this on my walk to get lunch again. In total I spent around an hour including eating, so maybe 40 minutes actually doing the drill. Like the other days I asked the time and have you eaten at most of the time instead of just asking for the time. If I hadn't spoken to anyone for a few minutes I would ask the first girl I saw for the time regardless of if she was older or with a guy. I mostly asked about restaurants that were right next to me or close by. At least half the time if they had been to the place they told me it was good before I asked if they liked it, but I asked anyway. When I asked did you like it to girls that hadn't been to the place they responded by telling me they hadn't been there again, nothing weird.
Overall pretty positive reactions today. I didn't really have anyone ignore me even when they were running by me and I stood there yelling after them haha. Some girls even stopped to talk and asked me questions like if I was from around there and what kind of food I wanted to eat.
Today I did the drill where I asked for the time, the time and is there a movie theater around here, and then the time is there a movie theater around here and have you seen any good movies recently. I did this on a walk after I had lunch. I spent maybe 40 minutes doing it. I was near a movie theater theater while I did this usually within a couple blocks or within the same little mall as the theater. When I asked if they had seen any good movies, none of the girls said they had. I started following this up with did you see star wars. All of them had and said they really liked it. Pretty much all of the reactions I got today were positive.
I've noticed that I'm barely thinking about what I'm saying now, especially the earlier parts of the drill. I'm just waiting for them to finish speaking so I can say my next part. I probably couldn't even tell you what time it was right after I finished talking to a girl haha.
I've also been making an effort recently to be more social throughout my life. I make more conversation with people I know and work with. I've been making a lot of eye contact and smiling at people in public. I'm also starting conversations with people around me I don't know especially in elevators where I live and at work. This has been helping me become more social and chatty, which I hope will lead to making more friends and finding more girls.
Today I did the drill where I asked for the time, then asked for the time and is there a cell phone store around here, then time is there a cell phone store what phone do you have and do you like it. In total I talked with 20 girls. I did this around my usual lunch time downtown and it took me about 90 minutes. I tried to do the whole interaction most of the time, so I asked about 10 girls what phone they had and did they like it. I actually continued the interaction a bit more by asking about their carrier, and which one do you recommend etc. Some people were very helpful, and some were very short. No body was mean to me or ignored me once I got their attention. I pretty much will go up and ask this to anyone other than running across the street to stop some girl going the other way with headphones in. Though If I happen to be walking into them I'll stop a girl going the other way with headphones in.
I feel pretty good about my performance today. Though overall my mood isn't that great and I have more general anxiety today than I did the last few days.
I had an okcupid date flake today. I haven't had a date in three weeks now, though I had three in one week before that. I'm working on setting up a couple more for next week. The online dating is getting really old and giving me a lot of motivation to start finding girls in person.
Today's drill was to ask for the time, is there a place that sells nice candles around here, I'm planning a romantic dinner for my girlfriend, and I'm the sweetest guy ever. I did this a few extra times, probably about 20 instead of 16. I did this in about 90 minutes during the middle of the day downtown. It was a much colder day today and there were less people around than previous days and people seemed more in a rush to get where they were going. Most of my responses were OK. Some girls smiled and said awww and some seemed a bit sarcastic.
I didn't really like today's drill. I think because I was lying. Also I'm starting to feel like asking for the time to start a conversation is getting a bit old.
Today's drill was to ask the time, random question is there a store around here that sells good wine, i got a promotion at work and I want to celebrate, what kind of wine do you recommend. I spent close to 2 hours doing this. It was cold and snowing today and there were way less people around. I didn't like this drill either like yesterday because I was lying. I think I'd rather go up and do the more direct approaches in the later weeks than lie about shit like this. Anyway, most people were fairly friendly or at least answered my questions. A few girls were cute and friendly, which gives me some motivation to finish this thing.
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I didn't think that your exercise and diet advice would have girls checking me out. It did.
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Kratom is next!
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