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Did day 23 (sesame street). I really got the speed thing going on here, compared to my performance on other drills. I did all 30 reps in 25 minutes. Doing it faster is actually easier. Today I saw how all my excuses were basically bullshit, there is not a good reason not to drill on 100 girls in 1 hour or 400 girls in 4 hours. The only limitation is my head. I bumped into a friend in the mall but that didn't stop me.
The drill was funny and cute, I think half of the girls got the reference. I interrupted a group of girls while eating and they asked me "is this a prank?" and I said "yes" and walked away. The irony about this program is that you have to become a man but at the same time go back to being a little kid.
I couldn't do the challenge though, but, again, I know it is doable. I will repeat this day today with the challenge. This is not a race.
Sometimes it is not even anxiety (literally feeling like you are gonna shit in your pants) what stops me, but overthinking (paralyzed by your own thoughts).
Did 10 reps of day 23 (again) with challenge (I'm not a rapist). This was a weak point for me because a) I take everything waaay too seriously b) I was always involved in a lefty/feminist environment (high school and college) and that spoiled me. Rape is kind of a sensitive topic here.
Nonetheless the reactions were surprisingly positive. Most girls either laughed or ignored the rapist part and tried to answer the question.
It helps to put in perspective this drills to think of something that is actually offensive or inmoral like "Go slap a random girl in the ass" or "Shout to a woman that you want to suck her clit and make her cum several times", etc, but the program doesn't ask you to do that. You are just saying that you are not a rapist.
I'm thinking the challenges as a way to baby step my way to harder drills.
Did day 24a. Fantastic day, very fun. But I was lazy and didn't finish it (15/30). I was a little bit too picky with the girls (stationary, young) Most responded positively. I did the challenge on most girls. I usually don't remember the interactions, but I recall one girl at the subway station, she was quite hot, I asked her a lot of times until that she wanted an hedgehog. AN HEDGEHOG. That was hilarious. I said "I will give you a hedgehog for your birthday". Another girl said she wanted to be happy, but I couldn't bring myself to say that I will give that for her birthday. Most girls thought that I was hitting on then or something, which is normal.
I did day 24b and completed 30/30. I took my time for this one and it became tedious at some point. Every girl thought/acted as if I was hitting on them, it is interesting to see how this changes when I am well dressed. This drill was more on the 'let's keep it real' side and less on the funny man, and I liked that. Overall, overwhelmingly good reactions. Now that I'm growing a beard I think I get better reactions from milfs.
I did day 25 (what's for lunch), during afternoon (4pm). I did 15/15, and did the challenge in 3 or 4 girls. But I took a lot of time, it felt like a grind, so I'm going to repeat this day until I nail it. Bullying girls is an important part of the program.
Went to the Mall to do drills (day 26, arnold drill) I was on Phenibut, pussed out and didn't do a single rep. September 9
It seemed like today it was going to be a good day, I did a video call with Vergil and that was motivational. My fuckbuddy came over, masturbated each other, I was super hard and excited (I felt so much pleasure that it was painful) and that was a godsend for my insecurity. Didn't came so I was horny as fuck
Went to the mall and bitched out again.
Had a busy day but had chances to do drills in between things but pussed out again.
This day has showed how much of big fucking PUSSY I still am. This is bringing me back to the feelings of the first week. Focus is not on having fun or achieving comfort, but on EXECUTING. Progress has made me comfortable. Phenibut helps with anxiety a lot but doesn't cure being a pussy. Only you can stop being a pussy. I HAVE TO DO THE DRILL. I HAVE NO CHOICE. NOTHING WORSE THAN BEING A PUSSY.
So far I've done a good job with not being a pussy but day 26 totally broke me. I felt really high anxiety and wasted a lot of chances, I almost felt like crying. But eventually I grew some balls and at least tried. Attempted the drill on 10 girls but they all rejected me. I tried mostly on stationary girls with the line "Hi, how are you?". First off, some girls rejected my Hi how are you (like, ignored me several times). Then, all rejected the we are going to play a game line. I could go on and finish the drill anyways, I admit that, but it would have been absolutely creepy, they explicitly said they didn't wanted to play or "No, please don't". I will get over this day no matter what but I don't think I will achieve comfort with this, it is creepy as fuck
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Kratom is next!
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