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It's been hard to focus on approach anxiety, although i've been semi consistently telling girls they are cute. Something cool has happened this week: I've been talking to this hot girl i knew in college back in bs as and, she is a singer, I proposed her to play along with my guitar. So she invited me to her place and we played music and talked for about 5 hours. I was kinda surprised at my skill level, I have truly come a long way. I didn't force myself to be aggressive, she rejected my advances last year and we are likely to keep seeing each other so theres no need to rush things. Even if nothing comes out of it is a valuable experience, and I think this is a strategy that I want to implement in the future (social circle+inviting girls to play music) to get laid.
I've been pretty sick this week (runny nose, weakness, brain fog) so I didn't go out much this week, and I haven't worked out this week. I've been laser focused with guitar, practicing songs that I'll be playing with this girl and some songs that I wanted to play for years but never learnt them (like the AA program) mainly because I didn't have the skill at the time.
I've been thinking lately that my experience with learning an instrument helped me tremendously with this AA journey. I see the callouses in my fingers and I remembered when I was just starting out and it was insanely difficult, and now I do everything effortlessly in comparision. So I pretty much knew from the get go that I would suck with this AA thing for a long long time. It was without doubt the hardest thing I've done in my life. But I think how I was one year ago. I was emotionally weak, shy, etc. Even if I am not quite where I wanted to be back then, I am actually way better than I actually thought I would be.
It is a high quality problem, to have way too many passions so you don't know where to focus. But there is no need to have a false dichotomy, I'm doing good as long as I'm putting in the hours in any of the areas of my life that I care. What's not ok is to waste time because of being indecisive wondering if I should do A or B. I need to sort things out first in order to go hardcore with AA. I've been taking driving lessons so I'm gonna focus in getting a license so I can travel to other cities to do drills. Although what I said about my town being too small, that's bullshit, and who cares I run into the same girl twice. The only thing that matters is being in a mental place to go 100% with this. As always, the bottlneck is not time, resources, opportunities or talent, it is energy/state of mind. Forcing myself to do stuff never worked. The moments I made progress with anything was when it truly was my number 1 goal and I was obsessed. When I'm obsessed with something it is actually harder to not work and you have to give yourself a break. But you can't force it.
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I didn't think the "Get Hung" guide would have girls eyeing my bulge. It did.
I didn't think that your exercise and diet advice would have girls checking me out. It did.
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Kratom is next!
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