TOPIC: Gabo's Approach Anxiety Journal

Just keep at it bro... might as well try to pull during the drills. I know for a fact men who have done this program and fucked well over 100 girls as a result...

He who succeeds is he who keeps pushing.

Crisp[AF] wrote: Just keep at it bro... might as well try to pull during the drills. I know for a fact men who have done this program and fucked well over 100 girls as a result...

He who succeeds is he who keeps pushing.

Thanks buddy... This is all I need to hear. I'm starting to want to keep talking at this girls

Finish Day 46, then start hitting on girls.

Bro just blast through it. You're so close. Get to Day 46 pronto... Hell, I still have AA. Just do it.

Reporting back. Basically, got to day 42 and then started losing consistency, although I semi consistently told girls that they were cute in my daily routine, and I had to move with my family to a way smaller city and I won't be able to do drills for now.

What happened was a mix of different issues, most of those are excuses tho. My mental health deteriorated and I became increasingly hipochondriac, I thought that I had an infection or heavy metal poisoning that was causing me fatigue, I made a lot of obsessive research in google and longevity forums, went to a ton of doctors, but I guess it was me just being neurotic. But some stuff I think is legit, I started mouth taping which improved my sleep tremendously, reduced IBS symptoms with dietary measures like stop eating insoluble fiber, histamic foods, nuts, dairy, drinking apple cider vinegar, etc. I'm also getting my jaw realigned with a mouth appliance that I use at night, I'm also mewing. This should improve my vagal tone (which should improve response, autonomous nervous system, etc) and my breathing.

In the meantime I did a keto diet and got leaner, went from 71kg to 66kg, I thought that I was lean before but I was probably at 14%, now I'm 10% bf (pic attached). I have 0 muscle and strength tho, I made a lot of mistakes in the process of getting leaner and I'm reviewing my fitness knowledge. Probably will start lean bulking and a strength program.

Also, the insoles FINALLY (after 3+ months and a lot of bureaucratic issues) arrived. Along with a military boots that I bought at Zara, they get me from 172cm to 180cm which as VERY good height here.

For the moment, I will start approaching a bare minimum of 2 girls. Hitting on girls for real and actually getting laid should keep my AA at minimum. When I go back to Buenos Aires I will crush the AA program once and for all. I will focus back on working on my drawing skills AND make money as a freelance illustrator/concept artist so I can reach financial independence. I prefer to live with my parents than to live a lone working a minimum wage soul draining, dead end job.

Cheers.

Edit: My face has also became much leaner, it really is a game changer, it improves your jawline a lot. My fashion sense has improved. I think that my looks are at a point where I should get results from cold approach.
I should mention that my regular fuckbuddy dumped me because she got into a relationship. So I havent been getting laid for a while (I totally deserve it thoigh, I didnt put much effort at all).

Gabo wrote: Did Day 39 and part of Day 40 inthese days. I realized that I'm still seeking validation. I talk to hot girls because I want them to smile at me so I feel like I'm cute. I got obsessed with grooming and style, but at this point I feel like I'm trying to get validated, instead of using my looks to improve my chances to get laid. I really need to get over the "I'm too cool for this, normal people don't do this it's is weird" stage. Stop trying to be cool

I still have big fragile ego. I had 1 bad reaction and I psyched myself out, even though 80% of girls smiled and thanked me.

Did you tell some girl she was cute and then her mom told you to fuck off?

NoStringsAttached wrote:

Gabo wrote: Did Day 39 and part of Day 40 inthese days. I realized that I'm still seeking validation. I talk to hot girls because I want them to smile at me so I feel like I'm cute. I got obsessed with grooming and style, but at this point I feel like I'm trying to get validated, instead of using my looks to improve my chances to get laid. I really need to get over the "I'm too cool for this, normal people don't do this it's is weird" stage. Stop trying to be cool

I still have big fragile ego. I had 1 bad reaction and I psyched myself out, even though 80% of girls smiled and thanked me.

Did you tell some girl she was cute and then her mom told you to fuck off?

Yeah, she was very disrepecful. The drill was sayingvyou are cute and then saying your name. She was with a friend (hoter than her of course) and she Said 'who cares if your name is Gabo!' That really hurt me. I would normally kept to myself but funnily enough that day specifically instructed to say whatever you want if a girl is rude to you. I felt better afterwards lol

Gabo wrote:

NoStringsAttached wrote:

Gabo wrote: Did Day 39 and part of Day 40 inthese days. I realized that I'm still seeking validation. I talk to hot girls because I want them to smile at me so I feel like I'm cute. I got obsessed with grooming and style, but at this point I feel like I'm trying to get validated, instead of using my looks to improve my chances to get laid. I really need to get over the "I'm too cool for this, normal people don't do this it's is weird" stage. Stop trying to be cool

I still have big fragile ego. I had 1 bad reaction and I psyched myself out, even though 80% of girls smiled and thanked me.

Did you tell some girl she was cute and then her mom told you to fuck off?

Yeah, she was very disrepecful. The drill was sayingvyou are cute and then saying your name. She was with a friend (hoter than her of course) and she Said 'who cares if your name is Gabo!' That really hurt me. I would normally kept to myself but funnily enough that day specifically instructed to say whatever you want if a girl is rude to you. I felt better afterwards lol

Haha wow she’s a bitch!

Keep at it. You’ll build thick skin as you go along.

Saturday july 20th

8:30 woke up
9:30-17:00 went to drawing atelier
18:00-21:00 played guitar compulsively
21:00-22:00 dinner talk with my mother
22:00-23:00 AA program
23:00-23:30 gll warm shower talk with my father on the phone went sleep

Today I eased myself back to the program Did 3 hey you are cute and leave. Good sensations. I felt somehow drunk even though I was sober.i am eager to finish the program.

UPDATE

Basically did hey you are cute and repeated it semi consistently. But I had anxiety for the shaking hands part. Main reason is that I had some bad experiences with physical contact doing the aa program, namely, 2 girls thought that I poisoned them after doing the high five drill. Stuff that happens when you live in a third world country lol. I also have some anxiety doing a lot of girls in the same place in a short span of time specially if it is a closed space like a mall Although I'm getting better and I think I will be able to handle people if they throw shit at me its been a slow process but my skin is thicker than ever.

I told my mom about the drills. This was a big stride for me as I always kept this part of my life in secret since I wanted to fit in. She was supportive. Ideally I want to approach in front of friends and family. There is nothing to be ashamed of and anyone that doesn't think it is cool doesn't exist in my book. It is my reality.

I said I was doing this for validation a couple of months ago. Not anymore. I look good, I really have a hard time finding someone that is better looking than me in the street. Yeah, I could be leaner and more muscular and have a tattoo. That would put me in a 9/10 (that is my genetic potential I believe) but right now I am at least above average. I get checked out daily (as long as I go out of my house and actively scout for eye contact, which doesn't give me a lot of anxiety at this point). So I literally got bored at this point of having eye contact, having girls smiling at me and thanking me after I approach them, etc. I'm fucking horny all the time. I'm sexually frustrated. Chris is 100% right that after nothing turns into anything validation gets old quick.

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I realized that I'm a perfectionist. I already knew it but I didn't realize how bad it was, not until I realized that most guys, even on gll, have lower standards. While it has helped me to reach greatness some times, I need to realize that it is becoming very limiting. Across the board. In different areas i'm stuck on the same part of the learning curve. My guitar skills are top 1% at least, I can play a classical repertoire, I know music theory and can read decently well. Yet I've barely played live. I don't know popular songs so I can play at a party and impress people and have girls wetting themselves over me (I'm half kidding). My artistic skills are 0.1%, yet I keep doing studies and never do personal work, I don't give myself permission of putting a portfolio on artstation and I don't give myself permission to give lessons. I've been doing this gll aa program for over 1 year yet I don't give myself permission to talk to girls until my looks are Chad like, and my aa is zero. And I only want fuck girls if they are hot, if not models or pornstars. This obviously a toxic and childish way of thinking. I need to create tangible results

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The reason this proccess was so slow is because I multitasked I arrogantly thought that I could handle multiple shit at once and I wasn't like everyone else. Many people (killtheinnerloser, crisis_overcomer) called me out for that but I thought that I knew better. Experience proved me wrong. The only times where I made substantial progress with this was when it was my no. 1 priority. Multitasking is HUGE waste of time. Part of growing up is accepting that I can't willpower thru everything, there are limits and I must accept them. I learned to let go and stop trying to make work things that don't work. I want certain things to be a certain way, but again that's perfectionism, instead, I just just take action right now with a proven method that I know works. This past few days i've been very productive (waking up 7:30 am consistently, drawing 4-6hs, jerking off once a week, never missing a single workout, eating what I have to eat) and I realized that it is better to 'laissez faire' and just put myself doing something in autopilot something that WORKS and makes me out in the HOURS in my no.1 goal nstead of forcing myself to do this perfect routine that will quickly drain my will power.

I don't have a n underlying medical condition, I don't have deeply rooted psychological issues, I'm not lazy, I'm not 'not wanting things bad enough', I simply haven't been following advice from more experienced people

This is going to be one of the hardest things but I quit drawing and guitar until I finish the AA program. THE AA PROGRAM IS MY NUMBER 1 GOAL .

It's been hard to focus on approach anxiety, although i've been semi consistently telling girls they are cute. Something cool has happened this week: I've been talking to this hot girl i knew in college back in bs as and, she is a singer, I proposed her to play along with my guitar. So she invited me to her place and we played music and talked for about 5 hours. I was kinda surprised at my skill level, I have truly come a long way. I didn't force myself to be aggressive, she rejected my advances last year and we are likely to keep seeing each other so theres no need to rush things. Even if nothing comes out of it is a valuable experience, and I think this is a strategy that I want to implement in the future (social circle+inviting girls to play music) to get laid.

I've been pretty sick this week (runny nose, weakness, brain fog) so I didn't go out much this week, and I haven't worked out this week. I've been laser focused with guitar, practicing songs that I'll be playing with this girl and some songs that I wanted to play for years but never learnt them (like the AA program) mainly because I didn't have the skill at the time.

I've been thinking lately that my experience with learning an instrument helped me tremendously with this AA journey. I see the callouses in my fingers and I remembered when I was just starting out and it was insanely difficult, and now I do everything effortlessly in comparision. So I pretty much knew from the get go that I would suck with this AA thing for a long long time. It was without doubt the hardest thing I've done in my life. But I think how I was one year ago. I was emotionally weak, shy, etc. Even if I am not quite where I wanted to be back then, I am actually way better than I actually thought I would be.

It is a high quality problem, to have way too many passions so you don't know where to focus. But there is no need to have a false dichotomy, I'm doing good as long as I'm putting in the hours in any of the areas of my life that I care. What's not ok is to waste time because of being indecisive wondering if I should do A or B. I need to sort things out first in order to go hardcore with AA. I've been taking driving lessons so I'm gonna focus in getting a license so I can travel to other cities to do drills. Although what I said about my town being too small, that's bullshit, and who cares I run into the same girl twice. The only thing that matters is being in a mental place to go 100% with this. As always, the bottlneck is not time, resources, opportunities or talent, it is energy/state of mind. Forcing myself to do stuff never worked. The moments I made progress with anything was when it truly was my number 1 goal and I was obsessed. When I'm obsessed with something it is actually harder to not work and you have to give yourself a break. But you can't force it.