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@Dude75 I really appreciate your detailed response.
-If you are talking about the face shot I uploaded a few days ago, yeah it was messy as fuck and I knew it.
-If you are talking about the full body shot, I just got a haircut and shaved my beard. But it was for cheap and it shows.
-I work out regularly but I never actually did a bodybuilding routine, I did strength training, then crossfit, then martial arts. I bulked once, built some muscle, then cut and then stopped counting macros and ate maintenance. I'm just lean with a little bit of muscle and I have a small bone structure so I look like dogshit with clothes on. The better decision would be to start bulking now but I want to hit on girls now and I want to stay lean.
-Do you mean getting a better haircut or using some kind of product? I'm pretty ignorant about this.
-Yes, definitely will get a bigger chain, more visible earrings, rings and a watch. It is pretty easy to do, it is just a 'permission' thing.
BACK TO THE PROGRAM
This couple of weeks I've been feeling very apathetic. SSRIs: The rumors are true. They are good at supressing bad feelings, I stopped feeling guilt, self hatred, anger, but I lost motivation. I felt very "lazy", maybe sad, but for the most part very indifferent to everything. Also, clonazepam has fucked my ability to focus. Fuck doctors, I tried to talk to my doctor into other antidepressants but of course she blew me off. Thank god my libido is still reasonably fine. I've been researching a little bit and there are better options like Wellbutrin (Bupropion) and the little known tianeptine, I just have to find a physician open enough so I can work with him.
I have been trying natural methods to increase my testosterone libido and erections an so far they seem to work. Also, got a prescription for Cialis.@killtheinnerloser with all due respect, I agree that I might be using hormones/fitness/health as a way to procrastinate. But a lot of stuff is simply rooted in your physiology no matter how many exposure therapy you have, your anxiety, sex drive, mood, play a big role in this. Looks are also important in order to starts seeing myself as a cool guy who deserves to get laid.
These couple of days I've been high fiving girls nearly every day like it is not big deal, so I didn't lose momentum. I decided to finish the program once and for all, I will do it in less than a month. Once I am done with it I will start doing lifestyle changes as I cold approach and try to get laid. But for now I will focus on social freedom, complete the AA program and go out alone and just talk to people, girls, guys, bouncers, bar tenders, etc.
Today I did day 35, pretty fun. Easy. One girl corrected me and said "hermana" (sister) but I insisted with "hermano" (bro). Easy day. I want to be over with this thing.
Did day 36 (Mr Nice Guy), it was cool and funny. The girl (woman) in the video completely ignored my compliments. I did a little pause between all of them.
I was about to do day 37 (squeeze+I dig your style) but the club I wanted to go was closed. I went to a bar but there weren't many people so I called it a day. But at the same time I think I chickened out and the drill made me anxious. However I tried to redeem myself and do day 36 challenge, say as many compliments as possible, I think I said 7 or 8, tshirt, shoes, hairstlyle, purse , then I complimented her skin color (lol), her jeans, a piercing and a glass of alcohol that she was holding. She thanked me but in the end she was a little bit annoyed and said she was waiting for someone and I left. I will do day 37 tonight, no excuses!
During the day I did cold approach with other guys. I traveled to some suburban area, which I rarely ever do, I felt like it was too ghetto. I arrived early, but I decided to take a cup of coffee (to procrastinate). But I said fuck it and did some weak approaches. I did solid eye contact with one hot/cute girl but I pussed out.
Then another guy arrived and we had a very slow start. However in one of the first interactions I got the number of a girl with a boyfriend and I could keep a conversation for 3 minutes. I talked with the guy about life and depression. Why is everyone who does this cold approach thing so broken? (myself included)
Then other guys arrived, they were kinda experienced too. They were good at pushing the interactions (while I bail very quickly after a minimal sign of resistance) but I did way more approaches. Eventually one girl was receptive, I asked her if she had a boyfriend she said no, I told her I'm Gabo and shook her hand and I HELD HER HAND HOLY SHIT for the rest of the 3 minute interaction it was so exciting I felt alpha asfuck. But logistics suck, so I won't talk to her, it was more of a drill. I talked to about 20 girls.
At night I went out to do day 37 (squeeze+I dig your style) holy fuck I was anxious to do this one I went to one of the hotest clubs in town, there were a lot of girls, a lot of hot girls, some taller than me (I can't wait for the insoles to arrive!!). At first I did a few laps around the place and read other losers' logs. At some point I got fed of myself and just did it, started squeezing girls in the arm and telling them that I digged their style. The music was too loud so I had to scream in their ear so they could hear me. 80% were very happy of me giving them compliments, 15% (?) were indifferent and 5% (1 girl out of 20) flipped out. I did the first set of 10 in 20 minutes, grabbed a beer, did another 10 in 20 minutes. I could have done better, one thing that made me 'anxious' was the girls that were dancing too fast, it made it harder to grab their arm. I definetely felt the level up in difficulty, it was very flirty/sexual. One girl (average/cute) was super receptive and wanted to keep talking but I resisted the temptation (or maybe I avoided exposure).
I woke up too late and I knew I had to do day 38 and I procrastinated doing 'other stuff'. FInally went to a mall, walked a good amount of laps, there weren't many girls either but finally I 'just did it' and told a girl (milf) that she was cute, and she smiled. And I called it a day. It wasn't that hard but... I feel like since I started taking medication I don't have that much anxiety, I don't feel 'frozen' anymore. I 'could' do it but I just don't pull the trigger. It is like meds decrease my anxiety but the flipside is they decrease my motivation too. So the result is similar. My biggest obstacle right now is apathy. But tomorrow I will crush day 38.
I did Day 38 today i put this off all the week I felt exactly the same as killtheinnerloser when i started I was like'ok I quit' I did a couple of drills rhrought the week and they were super hard but suddenly something just clicked and it became easy. All the effort has payed off. Fuck man I have already walk around girls saying tic tac like a clock I can do anything. I crushed this day and I'm 100% I will blast the remaining days of the week. Actually I 'm kill this fucking program.
Good things are coming. I'm getting very self conscious about style and grooming but in a good way. I will start putting the effort where it is worth. I will go out to bars EVERY DAY OF THE WEEK even 1 hour maybe I will grab some drills from the goingout at night program and use them as a template. But honestly I think I would be much better off just talking to people and making stuff happen naturally, social circle, access to free and cool stuff etc. My goal is to become a bartender and if that doesn't work a promoter.
Also I plan to boost my social media, getting a quality camera and ask random people in the street to take pictures of me, that's why the program is so useful it opens doors. I will upload my drawings to my instagram and have 1 picture of me 3 drawings or something along that ratio. Today everything is social media and it will enable me to merge my passion with business and getting laid.
This is me doing the drill. A good tip about this drill is doing it with a big smile,
Thanks mate it really means a lot. I'm planning to blast multiple drills a day as you bib and sweatervest. It is the first time I'm actually excited to do drills, instead of afraid.
I went out tonight to aclub and had a very weird night. I realized when I had to pay for the entry that I didn't have enough money so I started to ask people for money. I fundraiser the equivalent of $1. I was about to go inside but sadly I lost my passport in the process so right now I'm very frustrated
Did Day 39 and part of Day 40 inthese days. I realized that I'm still seeking validation. I talk to hot girls because I want them to smile at me so I feel like I'm cute. I got obsessed with grooming and style, but at this point I feel like I'm trying to get validated, instead of using my looks to improve my chances to get laid. I really need to get over the "I'm too cool for this, normal people don't do this it's is weird" stage. Stop trying to be cool
I still have big fragile ego. I had 1 bad reaction and I psyched myself out, even though 80% of girls smiled and thanked me.
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I didn't think the "Get Hung" guide would have girls eyeing my bulge. It did.
I didn't think that your exercise and diet advice would have girls checking me out. It did.
I DEFINITELY didn't think that your hair-loss prevention would fix my hairline. Not in a billion years. It mother fucking did. You saved me a crazy amount of time, a ton of money, unnecessary pain, and destroyed my #1 source of anxiety. DESTROYED IT.
Kratom is next!
To anyone reading this, follow through, read this material, APPLY this material, and enjoy life.