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Wow, I didn't think I could pull this off today. I get off work, and head home to take a short break and nap because I'm so fucking tired, I wake up 20 minutes later and it's almost 7 so the mall closes in a couple hours and I manage to do the first 2 sets really quick, then I got a bit nervous and self conscious and worried that I might approach girls I had already approached. I approached pretty much everyone: Girls with a friend, with a boyfriend, husband, moms with their families, whatever was available. Next challenge is going to be a doozy... I'd also like to note that I took some L-Theanine because I thought it would help, I think it did but it could be the placebo effect.
Since yesterday, I realized I didn't have any deadlines for when I complete this program which is part of the reason I'm taking forever to do this. The other part is out of my control. I according to my plan, I will be at least at Day 30 by the end of this month. Count on it.
Didn't do that well today, I had an appointment after work to attend to, and I got a headache afterwards. By the time I went out, I only had an hour to do this. Went to the mall, there wasn't many people there but I tried anyway, managed to only get to the 3rd rep of this challenge. Much harder than it looks. I was pretty much stifled the rest of the time. Will redo this again tomorrow, otherwise I have a lot of homework to do this weekend.
Dude, first off, don't hijack my thread. If you bothered to read through my log, you'd know that I haven't even gotten that far yet thus making your question irrelevant. Second off, you've already made your own thread and gotten answers.
Anyway without further adieu, I fucking smashed day 12 today! I wasn't sure if I was going to be able to finish it again, really pushed my comfort zone with that weird shit I had to say at the end. I feel fucking great! It was tough to do the first set of reps but afterwards, it got easier. Half the time they laughed at the whole "sweetest guy ever", the other half they just didn't really acknowledge it.
I also had a shift in mindset. I can be quite logical at times, so when I went out today, I tried to put more emotion and excitement into my approaches. Of course, for the purpose of this program, it doesn't matter how you do it as long as you just do it. But, by being more emotional, I tend to have more fun and gather more momentum that helps me in my other sets.
One of the problems I've had up until now was that every time I went out, it felt like a drag, like... "I can't wait to finish this, I hate this". This attitude isn't sustainable, certainly not for 8 weeks straight! So I'm now in the process of adopting a more fun and exciting approach to help carry me through the rest of the program. I notice looking at other peoples' logs that they usually get stuck on an actual tough day like day 33 or something, if I'm getting stuck on week 2 there's something I need to change.
The other thing I'm going to do is take time to celebrate small wins. Again, to help me get momentum. There is some psychology behind this but I'm not able to cite anything at the moment.
I'm just really psyched because this is the fastest I've gone through this program!
Man it was tough going out at first. When I came home from work I just took a short nap, then bummed around a bit on GLL and pretty much procrastinated because it's friday and I feel like I need a fucking break. But anyway, I forced myself to go out again and this time, it was only 1 hour before the mall closed so I had pressure to do this quickly or I'd have to do it on the weekend (I missed one day so I'll have to do at least one drill this weekend to stay on track).
Holy shit, I did this as fast as I could, managed to do all this in just under an hour. That's tough especially when you're not in the mood. As per my last post, I tried to make it fun for myself and I think that's how I pulled through.
There was one woman who didn't even answer me, just stared at me the whole time.
"Hey excuse me, do you have the time?" *no answer
"Hey random question, do you know where I can get some good wine around here?" *no answer* *just continues nodding and staring at me
"Yeah, I just got promoted at work, and I want to celebrate" *No answer* *nods a few times*
"What do you recommend?" *No answer
*I turn and walk away *
I had one guy who saw me talking to some old grandma and after my approach he looked at me, and I thought "shit, that's probably his grandma or something". But then he just asked if I needed help with something so I just told him I was looking for a place with good wine, he actually didn't even know the old lady that I drilled on.
My biggest fear the whole time was that someone would find out what I was doing and call me out on it. But nothing... The other day I even purposely drilled on the same person 30 minutes later. She probably remembers me but just didn't bother mentioning anything. Like Chris says, if someone really gives you a hard time over this, they probably have issues.
Oh I thought this one was going to be easy, I've given random high fives before but it's usually at night at a bar or club. Piece of cake, not!
I barely did one, totally blanked out. I am still now 1 day behind schedule. I had planned to do 1 each weekday to get to day 30 by the end of this month.
The thing with this drill was that I felt weird giving high fives to old people and I'm intimidated by younger hot girls esp if they're with their boyfriend or friends. I wandered around the mall for an hour and I ended up asking for the time from a handful of people, and I did ask for a high five once but she didn't understand what I was saying. Fuck! I was really hoping to get to week 3 by the end of today!
Today was almost a failure. I took some phenibut beforehand and went to the mall where I usually did my drills, I froze up again and it seemed like the phenibut wasn't kicking in or just working at all! WTF it seems like I'm just immune to substances or something.
Anyway, I realized that those times I was able to high five random girls was when I was with a friend and at night, just down the main street where all the bars and clubs are. I couldn't do anything about going out with a friend since I'm supposed to be doing this alone so I just drove to the main street and did my approaches.
I hesitated and couldn't do any approaches for the first 10 minutes but after the first one, everything got significantly easier and I started to just go on a tear. About half the people shook their head "no" and the other half gave me a high five. It was funny because it seemed like the older women (40+) were usually more open for this. Seems like a lot of people are kind of stuck up today, I wonder why. But yeah so I finally managed to do 20 girls, whether or not they responded.
I will leave the next day for tomorrow, because it will be almost cheating myself if I'm doing this while I'm on a tear. Plus I wanna try the mall again since I'm now more confident. Progress!
Hey so I haven't been going out these days because I've been keeping busy doing other stuff (hanging out with friends, volunteering, training in boxing). I've gone out sporadically, but gotten no results -- as in, can't do the drills themselves.
I've really been slacking on this and it's really hurting my progress. I know what my goal is, and I want it, but it's like I'm not serious enough about it otherwise I probably would've been close to finishing this right now. I'm at that point where I'm comfortable where I'm at, but still just uncomfortable enough to complain which is similar to people who stay at jobs they hate for years.
It's like I'm starting to question why I should do this because I'm not seeing my approach anxiety get any better. But I think I haven't been going as hard as I need to, in order to see results. I promised myself from the very beginning to spend just a few months to do this, and if it works then great! If not, then just move onto something else that works.
I've also been putting my effort on other goals (managing my money, figuring out what to do career-wise since the economy sucks now) since I'm still in school. It's really tough to just focus on one goal and nothing else!
I've just finished designing a challenge that ensures that I at least make incremental steps in this program by putting a larger stake in this than I did before. I've done this in a previous challenge I did years ago, and I would like to try it out.
Anyway, I did go out today but everything was closed, except for a few grocery stores that I went to. I didn't high five anyone today, but since it's been so long, I'll cut myself a bit of slack. It was already really hard for me to just get out of my house to begin with! (I kept stalling, and making excuses for myself. It was bad)
Went to the university and high fived 3 girls, there wasn't much going on since it's spring break. Felt really satisfied with my performance today. My plan is to break this drill up into smaller goals, and eventually be able to do this in one day, and faster than when I did in day 14. Here's how I've broken down the small goals:
Today = 1 high-five
Tomorrow = 2
day 3 = 5
day 4 = 8
day 5 = 10
day 6 = 15
day 7 = 20
Of course, I'm going to try to exceed these goals as much as I can, to make the next day a little easier.
Right now, I'm trying to do this in a "friendlier" environment like the uni. Later I will transition to bars, and eventually back to the mall again. I think I should be able to do this at the mall before I move on.
After this I'm going onto the next drill.
Took a bit of a risk today, went to the mall instead and I managed to high five 5 people (when I say I high fived them, it means whether or not they responded). I got snubbed at least 2 times, which I was expecting. After I got snubbed I suddenly felt liberated for about 5 minutes, I thought it was actually kind of funny.
Tomorrow I will try hitting up a more friendly place like the school, but if no one is there I may have to go to the mall again.
I kind of failed today but whatever. Right after work today I fell asleep for about 30 minutes I was so tired. I dragged myself out to the mall to challenge myself a bit but I totally blanked out so I went to the school and managed to high five 2 girls (they were international students so they looked at me a bit funny and just said hi).
Here's why I think I failed:
- I noticed that when I try to high five girls, I look at them and wait for them to respond. I'm subconsciously looking for a reaction from them. Not good. Should be more focused on my own actions.
- I was really tired that day and wasn't in the mood. I made the excuse that since I wasn't going to do this perfectly I just shouldn't do it at all. "Don't be smooth". Acknowledge that it's ok to look like a total doofus
- I'm not having fun. Simple as that.
I was still however able to ask for the time... So for tomorrow or the day after, I'll make it a bit easier for myself by going out at night to high five as many random girls/women as possible. If I end up going to the mall, I'll ask for the time or say hi, and then get a high five, and maybe eventually get to the point where I'm totally disconnected from the outcome. "There are no rules"
Forgot to mention, I will redo this day. So right now I'm at 5 or more.
Went to the school but not too many people were there and I was really feeling apathetic all day today but I didn't want to do nothing so I just asked for directions a few times, and asked for the time. I went to the mall and did the same. Didn't high five anyone.
I haven't been getting really good sleep lately so I suspect that's the one of the reasons if not the main reason why I've been feeling like I'm depressed. I have insomnia, and these days I catch myself falling asleep at work sometimes. I generally eat well, occasionally fast (when I don't have food at home), and I expend a lot of my energy at work (My job requires me to think a lot, not just take orders).
Here are some things that I'm currently doing:
- No porn. I'm clean for 7 days so far. Sex and j/o is ok though, but only once a week.
- Work out 2-3 times a week. So far I've only worked out once this past week.
- Eating as much healthy homemade food as possible.
- Withdrew from almost all activities that aren't mandatory for me or conducive to completing this goal, so I can focus on this.
Here are some things to add to that:
- Go to sleep at a regular time with some relaxing sleep music and allot 8 hours of sleep at least.
- I'll also cover up my window with something because it's really bright outside, even at midnight.
- Wake up at a regular time.
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