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I actually attempted the program before but had a lot going on and I wasn't able to prioritize it so it didn't work out. I ended up trying the 'Going To Bars Alone Program' for a bit right after leaving the 'AA Program' but didn't follow through with it either (although the bar drills in the first few days led to some of my best bar experiences by far including my first booty-call/fuckbuddy) - again a priority issue.
I'm taking another go at the AA Program and here is my journal.
Since I've done them before, I combined these days in order to catch up to where I left off quickly and get myself moving. On the Day 6 drills, I even employed the 'GET IN THERE' mindset required for Day 7 for the first rep of each set. I started my lurking at a mall and then made my way to a University Campus. Although I was accompanied by Dogsinatra, we drilled separately and met up afterwards to reflect.
- Day 4 drills were very easy to do once I got started
- Day 5 drills were also easy and I made a point to speed up my reps as per the Day 5 guidelines
Day 6 drills:
- I did an extra set (6 total) at the end for added exposure therapy
- after completing the sixth set, I saw a hot girl eating ice cream who was walking and talking with a friend and approached them as bonus work and asked where she got the ice cream
- the girl was very friendly and told me where she got it, told me it was on sale, and that she highly recommended it
Thoughts on today:
- I made a point to approach groups of people rather than girls on their own which was something I wasn't focusing on last time I attempted the program
- Some groups I approached consisted of a guy chilling with a girl and I specifically talked to the girl while the guy watched which was something I couldn't see myself doing last time I attempted the program
- I made a point to do long-distance drills where I got the girl's attention from a distance first
I'm excited for Day 7 tomorrow and if possible I will attempt to do Day 8 as well (I completed up to Day 8 my first time around). I know it's going to get much harder but I welcome the challenge and I am now making it a priority to complete this program.
- had a really busy day but made it out to drill for a bit
- did one set for Day 9 and started a second but had to leave due to my schedule
- decided to do the drills this day while wearing a watch (to make things weirder to encourage more growth) with the idea that if someone actually called me out on it, I'd say it isn't set
- a really strange older woman looked so weirded out when I asked for the time so I repeated myself and she motioned (the best word I can think of for whatever it was she did) at my watch
- I told the strange woman that it wasn't set and she glanced down at it for a microsecond and looked at me like I was fucked and said it's set the same as hers and left - funny interaction
- I didn't expect anyone to call me out on my watch let alone actually check if it's set right but that just goes to show anything is possible
- it felt weird immediately asking about the restaurant out of nowhere so after the first set I started prefacing the second and third drills with "Random question..." for better flow
- finished the Day 9 drills plus an extra time drill
- a couple of the 'Did you like it?' questions were indeed asked after hearing no, which was weird but it definitely encouraged growth as intended
- Completed 6 sets of the Day 10 drills instead of 5 plus one extra time drill because I saw a hot chick after my sixth set
- The movie drills felt a lot more natural than the restaurant drills and more like a realistic random conversation
SOME INTERESTING SHIT HAPPENED AND IS REPORTED HERE SO TAKE NOTICE:
- began the Day 11 drills
- decided to do them while wearing a watch to make it weirder
- rather than doing them in a mall where it would make more sense, I decided to do it while walking down a street with moderate student traffic to make it weirder (the cell phone question is far more absurd on a street than in a mall with cell phone stores)
- some girls clearly thought I was trying to steal their phone which was funny
- some reactions were pretty good where the girls tried to actually help
- oddly enough I find the 'Do you like it?' drills to be easier and more natural than the ones without like with the restaurant drills where it makes more sense to ask the two questions in tandem rather than just the first
- on my fourth set, someone I knew saw me and came over to say hi and joined me for the rest of my walk so I stopped drilling (not because he was there but because it's easier to drill when someone is with you and I didn't want to use him as a crutch)
- completed 3 sets and 2 reps of the 4th set
- I'm really making an effort to GET IN THERE (especially on the first rep of each set) though I still find it challenging at times (it's getting noticeably better though)
- woke up to a text from a friend (it was a random text just to laugh at the state of society - he doesn't know about the AA drills or that I'm doing them) which showed a Facebook post about some guy who is clearly doing some form of anxiety drills in Arizona who was asking girls if they feel like they're in a jungle or something
- the post went on to warn people about him and said footage was being gather and had comments calling him creepy - I'd say he is a hero
- went to a mall to finish Day 11 and try to get as much of Day 12 done as possible
- this was time sensitive since I had to be somewhere before 2:30 pm
- because it was time sensitive and since I had layover drills from the day before (there was extra quantity for the day), I made sure to move quickly, drilling within sight of girls I had just drilled on at times
- just a heads up for what I'm about to share: I've done drills before at this mall and someone else on GLL has been drilling there as well who is a friend of mine
- for whatever reason, some security dude confronted me
- the mall security dude told me there are clocks on all the mall maps and told me there had been a call about me (or my friend on GLL) asking girls for the time and that there were complaints
- I find it hilarious that our modern day society is in such a state that this happened and need advice on how to move forward
- I completed 1/4 sets of Day 12 when the dude got my attention and came to talk to me (he had seen me do my last 2 reps)
- he mentioned that it was considered soliciting which I will research and that he didn't want another call about me (implying there would be consequences if it happened again)
- I was totally calm during our interaction and spoke to him with a tone that showed I thought it was weird that he was even asking me about asking people for the time (I didn't have to fake the tone I used with him; it was definitely genuine)
Does anyone have any experience/info on this type of scenario? The drills I'm doing right now are totally innocent. They're only going to get weirder, creepier, and more intense. I don't want to become a local nuisance post like the guy in Arizona since I go to bars in the city I drill in and also work as a DJ in the clubs; my image here is important.
Also, going forward, I have three options:
1) Stop going to that mall and lose a valuable opportunity for growth (standing my ground in the face of future confrontation would definitely be ball-building).
2) Keep going to that mall on occasion (as I have been; I don't always drill there) to drill. Drill as usual and deal with the inevitable confrontation after researching solicitation and having the knowledge to defend myself (yes, defend myself for asking girls for the time -.-).
3) Alter the drills slightly, if only at that specific mall, to change the time question to simply saying hey what's up, which is arguably harder anyway since it's more ballsy to say hi to a stranger than to ask them for quick information you need. Will be confronted again, obviously, but I can say that I'm not asking for the time anymore.
This shouldn't be happening this early on in the program. Were you doing it at the same time as your GLL buddy? Try going at different times, it'll attract less attention. Go to different spots but I wouldn't stop going to the mall all together.
I don't know if it's just the states or something but in Canada I never got talked to once and I went to week 8.
Also. You need to evaluate yourself when talking to girls. Are you acting disingenuous? Just be normal and ask for the time or whatever drill. Don't act like there's some inside joke or prank on the girl or you'll get reactions. (Some guys I feel in this program are acting weird even though they think it's normal)..
Another thing, avoid ugly women.. They're very insecure and will think you're fucking with them. This happened to me a lot. I just stopped going up to ugly or fat women. Try it a couple times but there should be plenty of beautiful women around to talk to. (might have to bend this when you get later in these weeks)
I was doing it at the same time as my buddy and we're both in Canada.
I'm definitely acting normal when I do it. Most of the reactions I get so far are friendly and the girls are usually helpful.
And yeah I've been trying to prioritize younger girls who are average or above average. The hotter ones are usually friendlier.
What are your thoughts on how to deal with the security dude if he approaches me again? Is he technically in the right to claim I'm soliciting? Do you know how others have dealt with this kind of issue in the past?
Ok. First of all, don't do it with your friend. That will get you into more trouble because it looks weird when two guys are doing it all over the mall. Also, it's easier to do it around people you know because you feel more confident and don't want to look like shit in front of your friend. That's not the point of the drills. You want to be on your own cause your friend might not be there when a hot girl is walking towards you and you want to talk to her.
I approach 10 times better when I'm with my boys.. I can talk to anyone and they know it. They'll tell me to go talk to any random girl and I'll do it. However, I can approach by myself too. Girls at the gym, on the street or at a party. Doesn't matter.
You both need to get used to approaching by yourselves. Go to the school campus and approach girls between class changes. That's when most of them are out and when it's hardest. Approaching people in front of others is something I always found really difficult.
As for the guard, if you're doing this by yourself and you're doing the drill relatively quickly it shouldn't be a problem. Don't go together... Then it looks weird and chances are you both asked the same girl or they saw your friend do it after you just did it. That would creep them out.
If he talks to you again, maybe explain exactly what you're doing and say you're not trying to harass anyone. If it's a mall that you can't be kicked out of then just stop doing it there. I'm sure there's plenty of downtown areas and campuses that have plenty of women.
I should clarify that I do my drills alone and agree with your logic 100% (that's why I do them alone). Sometimes me and my friend drill at the same time but we split up before starting and meet up only after we're done.
It definitely is possible that we both drilled on the same girl and that might have been why they complained. However, the guard didn't mention that anyone complained about multiple people.
Thanks for the advice. I'll try explaining what's going on and just see what happens when he inevitably confronts me again. I agree there are plenty of places to try but I hope this doesn't happen a lot and narrow down my location options too much.
- very busy day for me but I made an effort to do some drills at the mall I was DJing at before I started
- completed 1 more set of Day 12 candle drills
- completed the Day 12 drills
- I'm not happy that these drills spanned three days (although I would have done them if it were't for the busy time-sensitive schedule I had the last few days)
- I feel like I lost my momentum after the security guard incident and my initial steady increase in social freedom took a hit
- obviously I'm not in the wrong at all for doing the drills but I was building a mindset that no consequences come from putting yourself out there and nothing really happens other than people will think whatever they think by being part of the interaction or witnessing it which shouldn't bother you if you don't concern yourself with it
- now I realize that isn't the point; confrontation can happen whether it can be justified or not and you have to be willing to defend yourself and stand up for what you're doing
- did one and a half sets of the Day 13 wine drills
- went out with some friends and found myself able to approach girls at the bar way easier than ever before
- the first girl I talked to just ignored me coldly and walked away but I didn't let it bother me and I talked to her friend and asked why her friend was so anti-social
- we talked a bit and while she was contributing, I could tell it wasn't going to go anywhere so I left and approached a bunch of other girls throughout the night (probably a total of 10 who were all part of the 88%)
- I had pretty bad success with every girl I talked to which threw me off a bit because usually in the past I would get pretty good reactions when I actually approached girls at bars (which I rarely did - hence why I found GLL)
- we all have bad nights in that regard though so I'm not going to let it bother me
- in retrospect, there were still times on Friday night that I wanted to approach a girl but hesitated and lost the opportunity but that's what the AA program is for
- I definitely was able to approach with far more ease though so progress is evident
- before approaching a girl, I noticed the EXACT same feeling would come up that comes up right before I do a drill; a feeling that is slowly diminishing as I do the drills
- I made an effort to just embrace that feeling like I do when working through the AA program (the 'GET IN THERE' mentality)
- completed the Day 13 wine drills
- took Sunday off to catch up on some stuff and just relax
- the high five drills are coming up next and I'm excited
- I predict that they will be difficult at first, like asking for the time was initially way back during my first attempt of the program a few months back but like the time drills, I'm anticipating them to become simple and easy to execute after I become desensitized to them
- It's definitely going to be a game changer and I can't say I'm not scared but I'm definitely very excited
- I'm already starting to feel liberated and feel like I can initiate verbal conversation with a lot more ease and feel comfortable commanding attention for this (obviously there's a lot more progress to be made)
- I'm noticing I'm able to speak more comfortably now and more slowly and clearly
- I'm hearing more of my personal charisma/personality coming through and feel like this is bringing forth a greater percentage of positive responses
- in other words, the interactions are starting to feel more 'natural' rather than feeling like something forced
- I'm so stoked to start feeling this way with the very daunting 'physical dialogue' part of interactions
- finished Week 2 off with Day 14!
- timed my second round of 10 high fives at 28 min (rounding to 30 min for a 15 min time limit tomorrow)
- did a total of 21 reps
- the final one was on a girl chilling in the middle of a grassy area with a book on her face who I approached and said, "Hey what's going on over here?"
- she got startled big time but was friendly when I said, "High five!"
- this was the only time I said more than, "Hey high five," since she wasn't aware of my presence and it was a bonus rep
- the high fives were definitely very hard to do initially
- one time the girl asked if there was anything on my hand after the high five and one asked if there was anything on my hand before the high five but both were friendly
- only one awkward girl got scared away and another said , "I'm good," because she was eating and both hands were full
- some loser SJW chick asked why I asked for a high five in a bitchy tone but still did it
- a bunch of the girls just laughed and smiled
- I found that the girls usually didn't have time to process what was happening before complying with my command
- I felt the anxiety of having people see me doing the drills that I had when I started the time drills and I'm excited for it to go away as I do more high fives
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