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I just found this program yesterday and am on day 2. I signed the log today, and lurked at some of the logs of others on this site. I really hope this can change my life. For so long I've thought to myself of how good I could be with women if only I wasn't so shy and anti social. I know this is getting ahead myself but I already have a POF account (
). I have been getting a few replies but not dates. There are not many girls on there my age even within a 50 mile radius of where I live, so I don't think 50-100 messages a week is reasonable for me. Please provide some critique and guidance for my pics/profile though. I also happened to be at a mall today waiting around for a movie to start so I went ahead and did the day 4 drill today. It was pretty easy for me and I did it in about 30 minutes. I got one negative response where the girl just answered "daytime" and walked away. It didn't really phase me. Being able to do this really does boost my confidence, but I don't want to get too excited yet because the stuff in the coming weeks still looks very scary to me. I'm a goal oriented person though, so I'm remaining optimistic!
Just checking in for an update. I completed the day 5 drill today. I used Kratom for the first time. I liked it and it definitely improved my mood, but I still felt a good deal of approach anxiety, even for something a simple as asking for the time. I did the first set of the drill in the morning at my local wal-mart, about an hour after taking Kratom on an empty stomach. I made a point to only talk to young, somewhat attractive women. My first rep took me a while, as I found myself passing several women by due to anxiety or making excuses like "their hands are full, better find someone else". It seems like even though I can approach, I still worry too much about what they will think of me. Eventually I completed the set in about 30 minutes, and did have one girl who smiled back at me pretty hard and I think was into me. I wish my AA wasn't holding me back from escalating.
The second set I did this evening at the mall. I moved faster and completed the set in about 15 minutes. The effects of the Kratom were wearing off by that point. I also still found myself unable to approach people in certain situations. Particularly if a girl is with a guy, I won't approach. Also I saw several cute girls where approaching them would have required me to walk way out of the way, and I wussed out on those. So it seems like I'm getting better, but I still let a lot of opportunities pass me by due to AA. If it wasn't for that I could have easily finished the drill in 5 minutes.
I have had pretty mediocre results with the online dating thing, but that may be just due to my location. I've tried to reach out to girls in a larger city about 40 miles away just to see if they respond better (I probably wouldn't be willing to drive that far for a date unless they were really cute). Very few responses and when they do respond they don't seem interested usually, or they're thick girls and below my looks standards. Could anyone check out my profile and give me some advice in that department?
I finished a depressing attempt at the day 6 drill today. Only talked to 3 girls (1 rep of time, time-directions, and time-directions-have you been there). It was below freezing where I live today, but I rode my bicycle to the local wal-mart for no other purpose than to do the drill. I talked to the only three remotely attractive girls I could find that were approachable to me. The rest I could find were either with a man, or talking on their cell phones. I then went to the local mall this evening which was almost completely deserted. I think this will be a typical weekday evening in my town of 40,000 people unfortunately. Also no luck on my POF profile. I didn't do Kratom today, am gonna try to limit that to weekends for now. Can anyone help me out with some advice? I could really use it as I'm feeling kinda down about it today. How do people in tiny towns like mine do this?
Damn. That's going to be a bit of a problem. Are there neighboring towns you could go to do the drills? If there are, go there. Keep on pushing yourself man. I just started the AA program again, I'll be working on it simultaneously with you.
Just checking in today to share my progress. I tried approaching at the library in my town last Wednesday and Thursday. Was able to do day 6 reps no problem, except for the same issue of a very limited pool of attractive women at the venue. Yesterday however I drove to the nearest big city and did drills all day, to great success! I finished day 6, day 7 and day 8, going to two Barnes and Nobles and two malls. I tried to take 9g of Kratom and a shit load of coffee in the morning, but threw it up. I think the Kratom made me nauseous. I didn't let that stop me though, I drank more coffee and felt great. I drove to the city, parked my car downtown and rode my bicycle everywhere once I was there as that is my preferred mode of transportation. It also turns out to be a great conversation starter in a town where almost everyone drives. In several of the reps I was able to continue the conversation and give out my number to several attractive women! That night I went to the bar, sober and alone. I didn't really follow Chris' program for that but I cold approached several attractive women. I had a 30 minute conversation with an attractive accountant sitting alone at the bar. Unfortunately she turned down my number close as she just got out of a relationship but the conversation went great in my opinion. Most other women were in groups. I was still able to approach no problem but found closing to be much more difficult. I also didn't really try touch escalation and I feel that logistics and me living in a different town would have made getting laid difficult anyway.
All in all there weren't a ton of attractive women at the bars and after that experience I think that day game will be my preferred method, as my conversation skills are actually pretty good once I do approach and I can show that off more easily with day game. Also I still think my end goal is finding a committed relationship rather than a massive ONS pool. However I am feeling very optimistic! I really think I crushed a huge part of my AA and it feels great. Today I am going to bike to a convenience store in my town and park my bike at the front and do drills/cold approach every cute girl who pulls up. I may get sent away for loitering but otherwise it seems like a great idea. I always see girls going there alone to buy random shit.
Also, I think I'm going to discontinue online dating. I have had no luck with it and do not see any point to it where I live. Chris says that the whole point of it is to give you a little bit of a dating pool while you do the program and to help you feel better about yourself. I think I can get a dating pool from number closing already however, and only getting replies from 1 to 2 land whales a week online does not make me feel good about myself at all.
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I didn't think that your exercise and diet advice would have girls checking me out. It did.
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Kratom is next!
To anyone reading this, follow through, read this material, APPLY this material, and enjoy life.