TOPIC: ♫ Here's my comeback on the road again ♫

Thanks man, I really appreciate your posts. I had in my head all you said, just wasn't sure. I felt today like I'm almost gonna approach when I saw the 2 hot girls at the end, but they sat down on a bench in the middle of other people and started taking selfies. I was standing there for a while to see if they get up, so I could try it, but I really needed to take a shit, so I went home

Tommorrow's another day... luckily, now I feel like this, and not like it's the end of the world... like I did last year... I can feel success coming in my bone(s)

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Yeah I know man. I mean, even though I haven't had as many girls as the other guys here, I've been at this for 2 years almost, so I noticed these patterns all the time, even when I was trying the AA program. Especially guilty of this during bargame, a few times I went home alone even though I had potential targets eyeballing me... or even approaching me- if I went for a 6/10 girl instead of ignoring her and looking at a 9/10 dancing with someone else (who then also left with them), I could have fucked 2 girls in 3 hours when I was in Seoul the 1st time, 7 months ago - but I left alone... Sometimes, you just gotta do it... I already realized this, which is why I banged my last girl, #13. She wasn't the best girl in the bar I wanted to go home with, but I thought - "not again, better be secure with a good girl than wait for the best one and see her leave with someone else". Anyway, thx for the input again... appreciated

By the way: I haven't had my contact lenses since November, and now it's a really huge handicap, since I can't see if the girl is really cute until she has already passed me (if she even gets close). Which makes me less motivated to approach her, doubting the cuteness, giving me excuses .. blabla just need to get lenses. This week

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Well to be clear, she wasn't average, she was still probably the best looking girl I have had ever. Just not the model looking kind of girl with big ass and fake tits that my ego would like to get. Actually, I feel like I could fall in love with this girl if she lived here lol.

So right now, my only problem is libido and motivation. I have the style, I don't have a killer body (far from it) but I still look good, I have some game and I think a kinda cool personality. I have no excuse. I just don't approach cause I kept playing with my dick the whole weekend. So, my plan for the next week is to do nofap and starve myself to desperation again. I'm gonna report back if successful (= approaches done)

No approaches. Reason: Had a urinary tract infection, which became a kidney infection. Reason for that: Not sure, but I'm definitely gonna start using protection with random girls... guys, you really don't want to be sick like this... it completely threw me off my momentum, I was in pain for 2 weeks, and I'm kind of healthy now but I still don't feel like meeting anyone. I'm just tired, lost weight, look like a zombie. Self-confidence low.

Well, that was a fast summer. Let's see if I can still get back into it before the end of August...

Nobody is reading this fucking forum anymore but I'll write it here anyway, for sentimental reasons

Today I had my first full on approach, in my own language and city

Idk why I was always extremely anxious to approach or even flirt in my own language, probably since childhood I had it somehow connected to rejection
So I always approached only when travelling to Japan etc, I could do that in English. You know as they say, people have different personalities in different languages, I feel very confident in English, I can even imagine what Chris would say for example and just repeat it word for word, kinda "act it out". But it's not easy to translate. Anyway, it's been since 2019 when I did my last approach in Tokyo. And I've been super down and isolated since. So, even considering that...

After dealing with a long oneitis for half a year, I went to a book shop today, to buy Marcus Aurelius' diary. I approached a store assistant where to find the philosophy section... when she turned to me, I got surprised for a bit, because she was stupid cute. Small redhead with glasses, miniskirt... maybe it was a normal skirt, she had really long legs haha
Anyway, she pointed me to the right section. I thought she smiled at me a bit

I went to find my book and then I kept thinking, maybe I should ask her for her contact... after I got the book, I wanted to go back to her but I got super anxious and I was thinking if it's a bad idea, maybe she will get offended or something, or maybe she isn't that cute, or she will give me her number but I won't talk to her anyway... just excuses... took me like half an hour of walking through different sections to give myself the courage. Funny enough, I just bought and had stoic manual in my hand, so I kept thinking "what's the worse that could happen? memento mori" and maybe that's what pushed me over the edge

I finally started walking back to where she was standing before, thinking "she probably won't be there anyway, or if she is, I won't have the balls and I'll walk past her and go home"

And of course she was there, I couldn't get off so easily. When I saw her, my legs got weak, I have never had such a strong reaction to an approach, I was so fucking nervous I thought I would pass out. Literally physically got weak and lightheaded a bit. I walked past her and to another section... I thought, "fuck, I'm gonna look like a total creep if I hang around her, I need to take action or call it a loss and go home". So then I walked around the section once, looked at some books for like 2 minutes and headed back to her.

I said "Thanks a lot for your advice, I found what I was looking for" "That's great, you're welcome!" "By the way, there's one more thing. I hope it's not too weird, but before, I thought you were really cute. So I was thinking if I could take your phone number." I was smiling but nervous as fuck. "Unfortunately....... I have a boyfriend." "Oh, okay. Well please don't be upset at me (it sounds polite in my language, in English it's weird), I had to try! Have a nice day!" "Haha I understand!" and I walked out as fast as I could

It made my fucking day. I came home and had to take some selfies (as memento) because I haven't seen myself this happy for so long. I've been struggling with depression for half a year because of this colleague I fell in love with... I wanted to finally start dating again, so I started drills, online dating, started taking care of myself, being more social etc... past month. This was the final test I feel like. I hope things are going to get better now.

I'll read it from time to time. Or hey fuck it come to kill your inner loser. I think gll's prime > current KYIL. But even so its pretty great. I miss seeing hunks old logs, BIB, Chad. Good times. But we do what we got to do.

Nice work on the approach. I'm getting back into it as well and its rough. But after a week or so it should get easier. Just have to stay consistent and make it a lifestyle. I remember when I would look up old posts and see your profile and wonder what happened. Glad to see some old vets are still here.

Thanks bro. I have already looked at the KYIL forum, actually I've had it open in my tabs for like 2 weeks planning to make an account haha. I'm super attached to GLL tho, changed my life. I've seen some zoomers reference to it recently because of dc7 / Derek's videos, maybe it will relive its past glory one day But yeah I might migrate eventually

Nice Job, keep it up! I am going to be starting the AA soon. I am currently working on getting my body to where I want it to be which around 190 lbs.

thanks!
that's a good idea about your body, personally being skinnyfat has been my biggest handicap since forever lol. I just can't fucking get any real progress

I'm gonna use this as a journal to keep my thoughts for future reflecting on my progress, since nobody reads this forum anymore it doesn't really matter if I shit it up with random blogposts. Right? Still, AA-related but I don't do the AA drills

I've been slacking off since posting the summer approach, since I was a bit depressed about my oneitis (it sucks being colleagues but I'm using it as kind of stoicism training), got much better tho. But my social life has become 10x better, I started going out with colleagues, even alone, being more social. Basically I'm trying to improve my social skills (and looks) before I go approach a lot. But I did do a few approaches

1) A hot blonde girl in a bar, we spoke a bit and she added me on Facebook but said she is seeing somebody. Messaged her again later and she still is seeing the guy (or so she claims), but she talks to me if I text her, maybe I'll try again later. She did some modelling gigs and likes to ride horses (wink). My approach was super simple. We got drunk with colleagues and ended up in this bar. I went for my beer, saw her, just tapped her on the shoulder, said "Sorry but you're really gorgeous, what's your name?" And then we talked for like 20 minutes. I couldn't really escalate physically since her sisters were standing just next to her so it was a bit "serious" but I took the contact. Also I was drunk af so I didn't know what I was doing and I felt self conscious the whole time (that I look like shit)

2) We were celebrating a colleague's birthday and there were a few girls checking me out. I'm so angry I only approached one. She was at the bar and rubbed against me a few times, I thought she was trying to get my attention but maybe it was just really an accident. We spoke a bit, had good chemistry but then she told me she is there with her mom and pointed at her (lol). Gave me her Insta but ghosted me later on. Upon later realization she was probably like 18, I hope she was legal since she was getting drinks (for her mom nonetheless haha).
There was another hot chick who looked at me like 5 times and held eye contact, must have been above 30 but really hot body, short hair blonde. I didn't approach her because I was talking to my friends and then later there was already another guy with her.
When we were going home with my colleagues, we stopped by at a McDonalds. One of my colleagues kept holding me cause she was super drunk and she kept talking to me without a pause. Meanwhile there was this really hot goth chick who came in and we had eye contact for a while. Then she was standing next to me the whole time we waited for our junk food. And I wanted to talk to her but partially I was anxious and partially I couldn't get rid of my colleague (I didn't wanna just go approach another girl 1 meter from us while she was there talking my head off). That was extremely stupid. Funny enough, there was some drunk guy who passed by us and the hot girl next to me, and as he was passing by he just said to her "wow, I would fuck you too" in a really rude way and he didn't stop for her reaction, just said it and left. Made me think "damn, if this idiot can say this, why can't I just politely approach".

3) This is "the big one". After these few weeks of socializing and these random approaches, finally I decided to go out on my own again with the intent of meeting a girl and hooking up, haven't done it in a few years. Had a few famous bars "for meeting people" I wanted to check out, do a little round. This was the Halloween weekend so I was expecting a lot of slutty dressed girls. And yeah I was right. I was insanely anxious and took me until like 11 PM to finally get dressed and go out.
I was walking to my destination and randomly went inside this one bar that I didn't even have on my list. But I saw two cute girls going inside and the bouncer looked at me and invited me, so I thought fuck it let's try.
One of the girls fell down at the stairs, she got up and looked okay, saw me and got embarassed, I wanted to ask if she's okay but I didn't. First opportunity missed
Then I saw them again downstairs when I was walking around and checking the place out, we looked each other in the eyes with the girl that fell. Walked past. Second opportunity missed
I left the bar and continued to check out my other places on the list. I felt stupid for not talking to them but I was too anxious (though I was telling myself "they weren't really attractive", I always do this, no they were actually really cute but I didn't wanna feel like a pussy). So I checked out like 3 or 4 other bars and clubs. They all had hot chicks in them, all dressed like sluts. I didn't talk to anybody, it was too high energy and I was kinda low and wanted to get out asap. But at least I got some exposure therapy. Tbh my primary goal was just to check out the bars so the next time I'm going to a place I've seen and maybe choose the best ones to focus. So I wasn't too disappointed. And I started heading to the last place
The last place was actually way back, and I went past the first bar where I saw the 2 girls
I thought I would check it once more and get a beer.
I went in and to my surprise the 2 girls were still there, right next to the bar. I thought, here is my chance, I'm still nervous AF but I will get the beer and maybe talk to them. I got my beer but it took too long, in the meantime they left. Third opportunity missed because I didn't talk to them right away (or while I was waiting for the beer, they stood just behind my back ffs).
I was kinda sad but the anxious pussy part was relieved I didn't have to talk to them. Walked around the bar and the dance floor with my beer, it sucked, it was all old women and boomers dancing, nobody cute. I finished my beer and went out.
And then I saw the 2 girls sitting there on the ground, smoking cigarettes. I walked past them and I caught one of them looking at me. I kept walking but after like 5 meters I finally thought "holy shit are you really such a pussy? she even looked at you" and I turned around and finally went to them.
The conversation was so fucking easy and fun it made me realize how stupid this whole anxiety and overthinking is.
We joked a bit, I found out they are 2 girls from Croatia who are just 18, travelling Europe. They told me they saw me in the bar and thought I looked cool, and they even remembered me from when one of the girls fell on the stairs. They were dressed as devil and angel, so I told them why they went to this bar, if it's because of the name (it's called Double Trouble), because they look like the double trouble (lol, awkward joke but they laughed and said they had the same thought).
Then some random Chechnyan-looking guy walked up to us and he asked if he can take a photo with them, probably liked their costumes. It was cringe af but fast, they took a photo and then he left. I didn't wanna keep sitting there so I told them about the last place I wanna check out, that it's actually a rock bar (they were also into rock), and I asked if they liked this previous place, that I thought it kinda sucks. And before I even said anything, one of them got super excited and asked if they can come with me. Tbh I probably wouldn't have even asked them to come with me, because I was so nervous and I wouldn't think I can keep them company for long enough to stay fun.
We went to the rock bar and then I got nervous again, because I've never been there and realized there's a huge dance floor, so after we got drinks, they started kinda dancing and I was just standing there like an awkward idiot, since I don't dance. So I told them they can dance but I will walk around and check the place out since I've never been here (it's quite big). They stopped dancing and went with me immediately, which I thought was a good sign... but yeah I should learn to have fun and dance maybe...
Anyway, it worked out because we saw table football and they got really excited and we went to play for a bit
We had really good chemistry, I genuinely thought I was gonna fuck both of them later on and have my first threesome lol. So when another guy came in (we were playing 1v2 and yet I was kicking their ass) I told him "it's okay, we don't need another player" cause I didn't want him to take one of the chicks from me
We played for like an hour and then had some shots and chatted a bit, I actually had a good time so I didn't mind if it doesn't lead to anything. I took it as a socializing training... after all, if I listened to my anxious self, I 1) wouldn't have gone out, 2) wouldn't have talked to them, 3) wouldn't have invited them to another bar and expected to have fun together for like 3 hours. And yet I did all that and it was great. So really anxiety is just noise, useless fucking self doubt signal...
Lastly, we went outside to smoke, then we sat on the ground and chilled a bit
One of the girls told me randomly (probably it was related to some topic we spoke about but very tangentially) that when a guy in Croatia likes a girl, he just asks her to make out and then they make out. That Croatian girls like when a guy is very direct.
I thought "hmm, interesting, why does she say that so randomly?". So I said "Oh, really? So, do you wanna make out?" and she said yes, so we started making out. To which her other friend got pissed off and stormed off and she was like "oh you fucked up, you made the wrong choice" I tried to salvage the situation by telling her, I didn't wanna make a choice, I actually liked both and asked her if she wants to make out. But she said she doesn't want to be a second choice. So I knew the threesome wasn't gonna happen, and probably her friend wouldn't leave her behind because she would feel bad for her, so I wasn't gonna fuck anybody that night.
We chatted a bit longer, it was pretty nice, for 18 yo girls they were pretty smart, we talked about philosophy, classical literature... then we made out again a bit... but they had to leave soon since the next morning they had a guided tour at 8 and it was already 4 AM.
Took them to the tram stop, asked them a last time if they wanna sleep over at my place (because it was literally just 50 meters away) but I didn't expect anything. They didn't because they had the tour. So that was the end pretty much, both of them added me on Instagram and left
The next day I was supposed to meet up with them for another drink (they invited me over) but I didn't feel like it, anyway it probably wouldn't have ended up with sex since one of the friends would cockblock me. And I was so hungover I really needed to recharge my social battery. But I also wanted to get my dick sucked by an 18yo girl, so I texted the one who made out with me (and who said Croatian girls like direct guys). And I told her that I'm not going for the drinks but if she wants she can come over for sex. She said she will have to decline because she is on her period plus she didn't want to leave her friend alone. Understandable and I expected that. Anyway, I tried
If I ever go to Croatia I'm planning to text either one to fuck, I actually think the other girl who got angry was really into me, she just wasn't showing it cause she was very "chill", the kind of aloof chick that doesn't care about anything. But she is the one who I got eye contact with previously and she was the reason I approached this duo. Not sure how to play it, I can't text both of them since they will talk about it, but let's see. I will definitely go to Croatia soon-ish as I wanted to do that anyway, so maybe this story will continue in my sex log

4) Last point, there is no approach but this is something important to reflect on. We went to a shisha bar with my colleagues and I got super depressed after a few hours of drinking. Idk what the fuck was this bar but it was like full of model-tier girls and they were all there with their boyfriends. Even the waitress was like 9/10. And then one of my colleagues said she saw one of the hot girls going into the toilet with another guy to fuck. I suddenly got depressed and horny and thought "why the fuck this never happens to me" and "why do all these stupid zoomers have these hot girls and then fuck them in the toilet". I got into my head a lot. I saw the guy opposite me who was sitting next to a girl that looked like my oneitis colleague, and this guy was really ripped, pretty much the Gigachad meme. It made me feel like I've lost so much time, being 34 and still kinda shit physique, having fucked only Asians in my 20s and never enjoying these amazing beautiful girls that are everywhere around me. And that will probably only hook up with these guys in their 20s sitting next to them. I know all that is stupid thinking and I can definitely get a girl like that, but for a moment it made me so depressed. I actually had to leave the party and go home cause I lost all my drive. This was 3 weeks ago and I have been down since, didn't really care too much about my Tinder matches either, but I'm getting back on track. That's why I wrote this today, got back in the gym and I'm starting to fight again. I had a hot girl match with me yesterday and she literally had "I'm horny, text me guys", it was after midnight, she was "lying in bed" so it was obvious she was masturbating at home and wanted to fuck. I almost got her to meet but she lives too far away. Then exactly what I expected happened and she probably finished masturbating, got embarassed about being slutty and writing that she is horny in her profile, so she deleted her profile. Didn't get her contact. BUT. It made me realize how easy it is to get a horny girl and fuck her. If she lived near me I'm 90% certain I'd be fucking her. And she was like 8/10. So it energized me a bit again. Plus, my match quality went up quite a bit recently after I asked a colleague to review my photos. It's still shit but it's less shit. I've been sick for the past 2 months with COVID, some bacterial throat infection and then flu or cold but it took like 10 days, so my September, October, November were all like the universe is trying to stop me from getting pussy once I finally got my drive back and started working on myself in the summer. But I will not stop and I am getting healthy again.

Thanks for reading my blogpost lmao