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Day 40 ("cute" + name + high five): Done! I started late so it took a while, and I did have to push myself at times, but I feel decently comfortable about this now. I'm so happy that the 40 girl days are done for now, lol.
One particularly hilarious one was when I was at a subway station. One of those really long treadmill things that you can walk on to go faster (travelator?) was there. I was on it, and I used it to walk up to and call over a girl that was walking next to but not on it. I did the "cute", got the high five, and then rocketed forward away from her, haha. Almost considered trying the drill on an escalator on a girl going the opposite direction, would have been even funnier
Went out tonight. Went with a group with a bunch of girls, ended up attaching with a completely different group with a bunch of girls. Was pretty fun chilling with them, don't really regret. Made moves on 3ish of them, including attempts at grinding, as well as ass grabs on two of them. None of them bit. One of them seemed really into me, grinding and shit until the ass grab, when she ran away and didn't come back until later. I would have used to think I messed up, but thanks to this site I now know I screened her and sex was never on the table anyway. Oh well. Called one of the girls cute. Got numbers but they won't go anywhere, everyone's flying back home in like a week. Couldn't get any of them away from their friends. Ended up with no makeouts, but I'm a bit more comfortable with trying to escalate on the dancefloor and getting rejected. Spent most of the time with my arms around the hips of at least two of the girls, and the girls kept changing, so at least I felt like kind of a player, lol. Could have sworn they were fighting over me a little bit at some point, being the only non-Asian guy.
Thought about doing some cold approaches, but chickened out of it, Oh well.
Went to some party for people at my school. Found some other guy I knew. Was feeling reaalllly antisocial for some reason, not really in the party mood. Didn't want to talk. Met up with another friend. Us three ditched the party, went to some other bar district. Settled on one place after realizing everything was crowded AF. Up till this point, I was feeling very antisocial, didn't talk to any girls, but the very first set I opened (arm squeeze + "you're cute" ) we ended up hanging out with for six hours. Was us three guys and two girls. Eventually, we all left to go to some other bar. I was flirting really hard with one girl. She was flirting back a lot, grabbing my hand, shaking me, stole like 5 cents from me. At one point, she said she had a cold, and she dragged me away from everybody else outside to go get cold medicine. We were alone outside at like 4am. It was on!
Or so I thought. I was like, "I'm hungry, let's go eat at your place," and she just said she lives with her parents (at age 24!! Thanks, Korea). So then I thought I'd drag her to a love motel. I'm like, "help me find a place to sleep." Nope. Tried dragging her to where I thought a motel was. Worked at first, but she asked me where I live. Mind you, I live in a dorm where they will expel me if they catch me with a visitor of the opposite gender (Thanks Korea). Anyway, after she asked me where I lived and I told her not close, she started resisting and wanted to go back to everyone else. Maybe she would have been DTF if I had a place but didn't want to be fucked in a love motel. I'd tried dragging her around as much as I could but it just stopped working.
Afterward we ate traditional Korean hangover soup, said good bye to the girls. She wouldn't give me her number x_x. It was like 6:30am at this point. I think this is the closest I've ever been to getting laid. I'm still not sure if she was ever DTF and logistics got in the way, or if she just likes to flirt. I wonder if I could have just done something really stupid and aggressive, like just grabbed her and tried to make out with her when she tried to drag us back to everyone else, if it might have saved the night. even on the way back down the subway, she was still pretty flirty, smacking me on the butt. maybe I should have gone for the number again. oh well.
Day 41 ("cute" + time + directions + high five x 2): Done. Calling girls cute is way easier than it was two weeks ago. One of the girls I actually passed again, she smiled at me. I told myself I would go back to find and talk to her, when I actually saw her coming down the escalator at that point, which was funny. Got her on facebook. Anyway, day was pretty easy.
Went out again. A girl I met last week asked to go clubbing with me. I escalated as normal, ended making out a little bit but she always pulled back before we ever got super into it. At some point I said we should go back, I thought she was down. We taxid back. But she forgot the password to get into her guesthouse, because she had never come back without her friends before. So we had to wait outside for over two hours until her friends came back, because they didn't have data and wouldn't respond to her texts. I tried to keep her as warm as possible, kissed her up and down her neck, but as the hours wore on she started resisting more and more. Eventually, the friends who knew the password got back at like 6:30 am and at that point she darted away from me as I took my shoes off and I knew it wasn't going to happen. At one point during the night I tried to get her into some sort of motel but she wouldn't go for it.
I honestly feel if either of us had a place I would have gotten laid. She just got less and less receptive the longer we waited outside. Honestly, after this happend as I was walking back home I raged so insanely hard outside. TWO NIGHTS in a row I feel like I could have lost the v-card if I just. had. a. place. anyway I sent her a text saying the night was fun but I don't expect any response lol
FUUUUUUUUCK my life so hard. omg I'm still a fucking virgin. fu fu fu fu
FS-Ronin wrote: One day, you will look back and laugh. Have a lay counter higher than you can count and fucked more hot girls than anyone you know.
Of course, this hinges on not giving up.
Thanks man, I feel like the universe just likes to troll me at times (though don't we all?). It honestly is a bit funny to me.
Day 42 ("cute" + name + handshake + time + directions): I kept getting rejected for the handshake at first but I got better as time went on. I had "presence" as Chris said in the podcast. I honestly expected today to be really easy but got into my head a bit at the beginning. It did get easier as time went on. Honestly I feel like such a MAN just going up to a cute girl and telling her she's cute. There were definitely at least a few that seemed into it.
Day 43 (high five, cute, name, handshake) (part 1): 8/21 girls.
High-fives. My mortal enemy. I got 8 girls today but was probably rejected on the high-five or handshake by just as many. Korean girls just don't want to touch strangers, though I can work on my presence. Honestly just felt kind of like shit today, got no sleep. By the time I started it was already dark out, too. Decided to just call it quits for the day.
A girl randomly asked me on the subway if I was German. Said she was studying it (legit, she was holding a German textbook). Reminded me of the time the two german girls randomly started talking to me on the subway, and that was how I got my first kiss. (god was that 3 weeks ago? feels like forever) I showed her the picture of them, she really seemed to like it hah. Anyway, got her number. Maybe something will come of it. Feels kind of cool to be cold approached by a girl(s). Maybe happened 4-5 times I've been in Korea, including at night.
Online dating not going good. Got tinder premium 3 days ago and I've had like 9 matches, nothing come of it. 2/3 of them die on tinder, the rest don't respond to my texts off of it. I've been using the really slow/boyfriendish "guide to losing your virginity" method to get numbers, text them again the next day and set up dates a few days in advance. I'm going to be traveling Europe soon and not in any country for more than a few days at a time, so I'm really going to have to ramp up the aggressiveness somehow.
One girl just matched with me. I immediately texted her, and she told me she was drinking with someone and asked me if I wanted to join. I asked her where she was and she just unmatched me. wtf
Day 43: Done. Took me a while to start up. I started to get really worried I wouldn't finish, then girls at rejecting my high-fives, and then it started raining hard and I was trapped in mcdonalds, and I was just in a really shitty mood. I put so much pressure on myself. Somehow I managed to finish it up though. Again, my shitty mood almost didn't seem to matter, 2-3 girls seemed pretty happy about it regardless. but ugh
Day 44 (eye contact): Didn't bother with eye contact. I'm already really good about fishing for eye contact with girls as I walk around, and it's very rare I get it here in Korea. Just did the "hey, you're cute" and continued the drill. As usual 3ish girls really seemed happy about it. One especially, the only one I really made eye contact as I walked by her, I did the "hey, you're cute, high five!" and she was THRILLED. It felt like such a natural, genuine interaction. Way makes up for all the passive/boring ones. As always, took maybe 45 minutes to start up then got into the flow of it.
As always, reactions just depend on the girl. One a few of the girls I awkwardly just did the "hey, you're cute" thing the interaction was awkward and meh. But on one of them, even though I was just as awkward/uncomfortable as before, again the girl just seemed really happy about the compliment, or at least think it's pretty entertaining (different girl).
Day 45 (groups): Insanely easy. Way, way easier than the first few days of this week lol. Don't know why this is a "harder" drill. Approaching groups of Korean girls is always entertaining. They obviously think it's pretty funny when some random foreigner comes up to them. Pounded this out in like 30 minutes. God, I forgot completely what an easy drill feels like.
I think it's been weeks since I did multiple drills in the same day. The theme for this week has been "6 days per drill," not "2 drills per day," lol.
First approach: Was with someone else. Girl #1 just kind of ignored me, girl #2 said she had a boyfriend.
Second approach: With a different friend. There were two girls, actually hooked fairly decently. We bounced to another bar. After a few hours of hanging out (me, my friend, plus them two) I tried to bounce them to my friend's house, but it was a taxi ride away, and my friend wasn't very persistent and wanted to give up. A shame, my girl seemed pretty ok with the kino I was putting down. Another night where I really feel I could have had a decent chance of getting laid if I had a place. By the time they left all the bars were dead.
I'm getting really lucky with these nighttime approaches. Last time the first one hooked, this time the second. I'm not getting much practice approaching, lol. Having a friend along is decently useful, but maybe I need to screen harder (or just have a place).
This was wednesday night, I'm flying to Sweden on Thursday (7 days from now) to begin backpacking Europe. I really, really want to lose my v-card before then, and I'll probably be spending all my time doing drills and going out. I honestly feel a lot of pressure on myself, because being a virgin is pretty embarrassing for me. I've come a long way, but it's hard for me to appreciate my progress because I still haven't achieved the main goal. I'm just so soooooo stressed about getting laid before I leave. I honestly feel a little sick. I really wish I wouldn't put all this pressure on myself, but I don't know what to do.
Went out tonight. First half of the night I spent with some people from the university i was studying at. Was the very last night we were gonna party since the program ended. I did manage to get the numbers of 2 people, plus there was this third one I bonded decently with who is also staying in Korea that I may as well shoot a text. I'm going to make a post after this with my feelings on my study abroad experience.
After that, went to some other nightlife place. I didn't realize it, but it's been a really long time since I'd flown solo. Got into my head a fair bit. It was a weeknight, so I got a drink and forced myself to sit at the bar. Eventually some dude came up to me, started chatting. Apparently some entrepeneur, he straight up told me he was rich and made millions a year. Bought me 2 shots and a cocktail. Said he wanted me to be a model for his fashion line if I wasn't leaving in a week, and invited me clubbing soon. LOLok. Pretty weird. The second time someone has randomly offered to make me a model in Korea though, so I guess I'm pretty good looking?? The place was kind of dead, didn't do any approaches. Beginning to seriously doubt I'll get laid before I leave Korea in a week. PS I live in a hostel now and have my own place, and will for at least 4 nights.
WHERE I'VE COME FROM, +MY STUDY ABROAD EXPERIENCE, + THE REST OF THE SUMMER
So it's been six weeks. That's how long I've been studying here in Korea. I'm going to give some background information about where I've come from and motivation for what I've been doing.
I've never really had friends. The last time I had real friends, I think I remember, was in elementary school. But it was at that point that my family moved to a different state and I had to change to a completely different school for the first of 3 or 4 separate times. I remember in elementary school after that, middle school, and all of high school I was a completely loner. Literally, I don't remember a SINGLE time in all of middle or high school I ate lunch with another person. I was always alone. And the odd thing is, I had no idea that this was weird. It never occurred to me that I was isolated or different from anyone else until the very last year of high school, when a cute girl randomly showed interest in me. Obviously, I blew the chance, had no idea what I was doing. I had (still do) a fair amount of social anxiety. But because of this I realized something was wrong, and I became very depressed because I realized that I had wasted most of my formative years. I vowed to fix myself in college.
In college I joined all the clubs I could. I became very involved in one of them, and became a part of two separate performance groups (a traditional Chinese dance one, as well as a Korean drumming one). But I never made any actual friends. In the performance groups (both of them) i was the odd one out. I just showed up for practices, and left, and never made any friends. I never made any good friends on the dorm floor I lived on, or anything else. I almost always ate alone. I introduced myself to a shit ton of people, but I never knew how to go deeper with anybody. Because of social anxiety, even the club I was pretty involved in I felt intimidated by most of the people, and only found one person that could reasonably be called a "friend," but even he started blowing me off eventually.
So that was my first year of college. So I came here to Korea to study abroad, and I really wanted to have friends. But the problem was, I was really busy just doing all these approach anxiety drills. For the first 1-2 weeks I interacted with people in my classes, tried hard to make friends. But my only focus was "getting laid." If it couldn't lead to losing the v-card, I didn't do it. So I only really ever talked to the girls. And after the first few weeks I basically gave up. These last two weeks though, I started hanging out with the group parties that the program has for the people who are in it. And holy shit, I realized, this is all I ever wanted. Just casual drinking with other people in the group. And I wished so badly that I started doing this earlier. I JUST WISH I WENT TO THE GROUP EVENTS. I could have had legitimate friends from all over the world these past six weeks. But I didn't. I just kind of ignored people. That's a problem I have, I meet people, talk to them once or twice, then I start ignoring them because social anxiety kicks in and I don't talk to them. I've had people at my home university tell me this, and just today one girl told me we met but then she felt kind of rejected because I just kind of ignored her as I past her.
So I'm still friendless. I've never had real friends. I figured, oh just do the AA program and your social anxiety will go away. God, I hope so, but there's under like 20 days left. I'm so fucked up. I want to get laid, yes, I want to lose the v-card, but I just want to be FUCKING NORMAL. I want to have friends. Today was the last day to hang out with the people form my study abroad program, and I wish so badly I could go back, and just NOT do the AA program for 3 hours every day and just hanged out with people, because I've always just been so fucking lonely you know? I'm being really direct right now, normally I'm not but I'm decently tipsy right now so that's just how I'm typing.
I have no idea how to make friends. If I was just normal I would have just gotten 2-3 girlfriends like all the other normal people at my age, and I wouldn't have to do this ridiculous fucking garbage, going out to bars and trying to drag girls to my expensive private rooms in other countries (because it's 2 years until I'm even old enough to DRINK in the usa) just to not be a pathetic virgin.
I just wanna be normal. Have friends. I'm gonna try to join a frat next year but I dont' even know if I'll get in, or if they'll decide I'm too lame. And if that doesn't work I don't even know what I'll do. Normal people seem to just go places and "automatically" have friends without trying. It just happens for them. But I've only ever been alone. I just want to be NORMAL. AVERAGE. I don't care if I'm not super amazing high status, or if I'm fucking some new girl every week. if I could just have a decent group of a few friends that I legitimatley trusted, and could occasionally get a girlfriend, you know how happy I would be? I don't care how "blue pill" or whatever it is. I just want to have a NORMAL or even BELOW AVERAGE social life. but mine has always been rock bottom. i hate being so screwed up.
so i just feel pretty depressed right now. i have a week here in korea, then one month in europe before I go back home and try desperately to make friends at my college before everyone's groups close off after the first week, and I don't know what I'll do if I fail again. I've already failed so many times. just to do that one thing that any average person does without even trying. why am I so messed up? im so unhappy with myself. it's literally a hell, and I have suffered way way more than 90% of the people at the place I go to. every time I Go on facebook I see pictures of people smilling with the people they know, and I just feel more depressed. I have no idea how to deal with my emotions.
this program (AA) has literally been the only thing in my life giving me any hope that I can make my future better. two times so far in Korea I've run into some sort of wall where I seriously doubted I could keep making progress because it was so hard. And both times I PANICKED and I got so DEPRESSED, because I'm terrified I"m just going to be lonely for the next 3 years of my college experience and for the rest of my life. because if this program doesn't work, cure social anxiety ad approach anxiety what will? what will fix me? I've always gotten straight A's, gotten into engineering program at a top university and still have a 3.9+ gpa but I fail at this. I'm so broken. i don't know how to fix myself and I dont want to be lonely for the rest of my life.
so that's my drunken rant. I really really want to lose the v-card but I don't know if that will even fix me. I'm shedding tears right now. like what am I even going to do? I ate a lot and then had those shots and cocktail that guy bought me (see last post) and the alcohol is really kicking in now. I'll probably read this rant in the mroning and feel embarrassed. idk. whatever
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