This is an opinion website that offers information of a general nature and none of the opinions should be construed as advice. Nothing contained within the site is the advice, opinion or otherwise the view of any host, owner, server or other provider of services to Good Looking Loser. Nothing stated shall be construed to serve as a replacement for competent advice from professionals.
Affiliate Disclosure: At absolutely no expense to you, if you make a purchase, we may receive commissions from some links on this website. That is how our community supports itself. I don't recommend anything that I have not used personally or believe in. Thanks!
Day 36 (nicest guy ever): More language barrier issues, lots of girls didn't really get my compliments. Some did though, and at least a few thought it was kind of funny. Kind of a weird day, but eh. Not very memorable.
After this I went to this place that was like half bar and half cafe (they served alcohol). I really dominated the conversation with several girls in it. There were these two cute Russians about my age. One of them asked to go to the club with me, but I kind of ignored the request. I am so funny hehe. When they left another girl teased me about getting one of their numbers. Ehhh. This shows when I get over my nerves I can have (or lead) conversations even in settings that are kind of like a bar. Left the place feeling good about myself.
Day 37 (squeeze + "I like your style"): Holy shit. I did all of the 20 in a single venue. It took me 4 hours. The first few were INSANELY hard. I put off the first one for like 30 minutes. But after that, my anxiety dropped. It still kind of took me a while to keep going because I kind of scouted out my targets before I went for them. Oh well.
I did the entire thing dead sober. I felt like a BOSS when it was over. Like seriously. I am no longer one of those chodey guys who just sits back, too afraid to talk to girls. I opened 20 girls AND was physical. Like holy shit, I've only been doing these drills for 3-4 weeks. I was fucking nervous STANDING INSIDE of a nightclub when I first got to Korea, and now I feel genuinely comfortable going 70% of the way to hitting on girls.
I feel amazing about my future.
(ps I expected a lot of the girls to be really bitchy because that's what I heard about night clubs, but a lot of them were actually genuinely nice/polite even when rejecting me. the bitchiest thing I got was being ignored. 2 of them seemed to genuinely want to talk to me)
Day 37 ("I like your style") (repeat): Went out again. Went to a reaalllly loud place with only one dance floor. Was really hard to start up, but I did it even though I don't think many girls understood me. First ten sober, last ten with alcohol. This time it took me 2 hours instead of 4. Improvement!
After finishing this I tried to put myself up to grinding on some girls, or trying to hit on them on the dance floor, but I couldn't bring myself to do it even after drinking a fair bit. It might not have been a good idea to do this, because instead of leaving the nightclub feeling awesome like I did last night, I honestly feel like kind of a failure/depressed. Oh well.
I'm not courageous enough to go all that much further, but I'm kind of bored of "I like your style," but I'm going out again tonight and the night after. Not really sure where to go from here. Might just skip to next week's night drill.
RogerRoger wrote: There aren't too many more night time drills in the AA program.
If you're going out so much, check out the GOA (Going Out Alone) program
Haha thanks but I actually got that covered.
Day 38 ("you're cute") (part 1): This was insanely hard. I literally walked around for two hours before I managed my first "you're cute." After 5 hours of walking around a crowded shopping district, my results were...:
Drive-by "you're cute": 4/20
Stop and tell them: 2/20
After this I felt pretty bad, but in the subway on the way to the nightlife district I actually met this pair of really cute German girls who apparently want to go clubbing with me tonight. One of them in particular has these really REALLY gorgeous, piercing blue eyes, and seems into me, but I'm not really at the level to do too much about it. Oh well. I'll just have to see how the night goes.
Anyway, I went out after this. I challenged myself to hit on 16 girls, but after that I stopped counting and kept going. I probably went up to about ~30 girls and I was only a little buzzed. I squeezed them on the arm and said "you're sexy." I then either tried to dance with them or did the "I'm Chris," handshake, "how's your night going." So I consider day 47 complete well ahead of time.
The problem was after I open. Probably 5 times the whole night the girl I talked to seemed completely down to dance, but I'm such a massive pussy I always left soon after. I'm scared to grind. I just need to start shoving my dick into their butt or something. Ahhh, I'm such a pussy.
On three separate occasions (once in a bar, once in a nightclub, and once outside a convenience store when the girl actually came up to me) I had substantial conversations and the girl seemed really into me. In the nightclub I actually moved the girl from a separate area to the dance floor. The problem is I make really boring conversation for like several minutes and they always decide I'm lame and leave me. they expect me to lead the interaction but i have no idea what I'm doing
Honestly, if I go up to a girl and she decides she doesn't want to talk/dance with me I'm completely ok with that. the rejection doesn't bother me almost at all anymore. But those three rejections, when we've been vibing a bit and they just leave are fucking brutal on my ego. Like seriously, I feel so much more rejected as a person. they REALLY seemed to like me but I just feel so terrible, like I disappointed them and threw away an opportunity. I think I just need to escalate more. I need to man up and grind/go for the makeout but I just have no idea how. uuuggghhhh.
I've made so much progress since I came here but honestly I'm just really frustrated. I feel reaallly close to legitimately being "in the game" but there's still so much anxiety I have to deal with AFTER I open. i just wanna lose my v-card/get my first kiss lol
So basically the girls were 1.5 hours late for meeting up. I was feeling pretty pissed at them and almost considered deleting them out of my phone and blocking them, but it's a good thing I didn't. They'd only been in the city for a few days and they said they kept going the wrong way on the subway or something.
So we get to the club and skip a humongous line because, as they said earlier they got table service. Apparently they weren't aware they had to buy a bottle, too though. I wasn't about to throw down for it (bottle was like $200) so we actually got kicked out right after. One of the girls realllly wanted to see the guy playing so she insisted we wait in line. We literally waited in line for like 3 hours. Anyway that girl (the blue-eyes one) was pretty pissed for the rest of the night. But, while we were waiting in line I started vibing really hard with the other one (who was Greek-German, also really cute). Eventually we left to hit a convenience store together and she started getting pretty touchy.
Anyway, with like 30 minutes to closing time we get into the place. And I told myself I was going to make a move. So after putting it off for a while, eventually I just went up behind the Greek girl and put my hands on her shoulders, and then moved them down to the waist. Holy crap I was shitting bricks. She kept putting her hand on mine. I kept wondering if that meant I should move my hand away, but I remembered how other girls had literally grabbed my hand and moved it away when I made them uncomfortable. So I YOLO'd really hard and kept it there. Again i was like 50% sure I was fucking up really bad but I kept going, haha. At two points she actually moved my hand from the side of her hip onto her stomach, so she actually did some of the work for me. At this point we were legitimately grinding, or at least I think so. I was right behind her, crotch was making light contact with butt and we danced that way, swinging back and forth. It actually wasn't as lewd/arousing as I expected. It was legitimately kind of romantic. Maybe I was doing it wrong.
With like 10 minutes to closing time I knew I would never forgive myself if I didn't make a move. At one point she turned around to say something to me. I put my hand behind her head and went for it from behind. And holy shit, it worked.
Calling it a "makeout" would be very generous. Lips made contact and I performed some sort of sucking motion but it was verrrrry awkward. But I don't really care. A few minutes later we kissed one more time. All the way back to the subway it was obvious she really liked me, she kept leaning her head and putting her hands on my chest. Unfortunately I couldn't do much more because her friend was there. I told them to let me know if they're clubbing again next week, so we'll have to see how that goes (and oh yeah, the Russian-German girl did actually give me a peck on the cheek at some point, also a first, although I know in Europe it can be just a friendly thing). They're leaving the country in 2 weeks though, unfortunately.
So, I'm over that hump now. That was my first kiss, and I think the story behind it was really awesome. Like just randomly meeting a pair of cute German girls on the subway asking for directions and then getting kicked out of a nightclub with them the next night, only to go back in and make out with one of them right as the place closes? Really cool.
As for the process of grinding/making out, it was pretty hard but i was able to do it because I already thought the girl liked me before I went for it, even though it definitely did take balls to stay in there. Moving forward, now that I have kind of an idea how to grind I think I will be able to do it on randoms now. Just get behind them, hands around the stomach/waist for a few songs, and then turn around and go for a makeout. And figure out how to actually kiss girls, lol.
@Rogerroger: So basically, what I think now is it's just kind of one of those things you just do (escalation). There is no technique, nothing. You just grow a pair and do it, and if the girl likes you she'll be fine with it.
PS I woke up at 7pm today so I couldn't continue the AA program, but I'm going to try and keep it up later. My sleep schedule is so fucked up because I don't get back to my dorm until 6am due to the subway schedule and this was my fourth consecutive night out.
Day 38 part 2: Went out again to continue this. Probably walked around for another 40 minutes sweating about the first set, but eventually managed to do "you're cute" to 6 girls in a row walking by. Then, did the ones where I walked up to the girls. A few of them seemed not to understand me. One of them seemed pretty happy about the compliment. Hrm.
Day 38 progress so far:
Day 38 (part 3): DONE! Hollly shit this is hard. I honestly feel like the difficulty level basically quadrupled over last week. But whatever. The drive-by saying "cute" went really fast this time, was done in 10 minutes, but stopping people legit took me 2ish hours again for the final 10.
I'm going to be honest, I started to get really upset with myself as I did my laps around the mall. Very little of my old social freedom that I seemed to have last week really seemed to be helping. I got mad at myself, the world, Korea, women in general, etc lol sometimes I find it hard to keep my head on straight. Anyway I'm just glad to be done with this day. It didn't go nearly as well as I hoped, but it still went way better than day 1 that I attempted this stuff and I have to be happy about that. I had a candy bar after all this to boost my mood.
Also, a girl on okcupid told me I looked cool so that also helped a bit XD
Day 39 (stop + "you're cute" / stop + "you're cuter" + high-five): I walked around for 3 hours and did 8 out of the 40 girls before I realized it wasn't going to happen. I failed. Toward the end I literally wasn't getting any and was alternating between anxiety/anger/depression. At first I was going for 40 today, then 20, then 10 and I couldn't even do that.
Today is Tuesday. My confidence has been shattered. I used to have no approach anxiety. I don't know why this is so much more difficult than before, as I said, the week intro says this isn't a "make or break" week and I thought I was doing ok. I'm going to start repeating days.
Wednesday: Day 18 (shirt)
Thursday: Day 27 (where's the beach)
Thursday night: Day 21 (squeeze 10 girls) [+ Day 30 (squeeze + "nice"/"cute") if I feel like it]
Friday: Day 32 (time, directions, compliment, compliment)
Friday night: Day 30 (squeeze + "nice"/"cute") [+ Day 37 (squeeze + "I like your style") if I feel like it]
Saturday: Day 36 (time + 4 compliments)
Saturday night: Day 37 (squeeze + "I like your style") [+ Day 47 (squeeze + "you're cute" + "how's your night going") if I feel like it]
Sunday: Day 39 (the one I couldn't do today)
Day 18 (shirt) (redo): Went by pretty quickly despite not feeling super great about it. Went to a cafe language meetup afterword, and a girl actually asked for my number and said she would text me . I was actually vibing wall with at least 2 other girls but was too shy to go for the number x_x
Got my second legitimately bad response of the program. I was doing the drill on some girl on the subway when some older woman (30's?) started talking to her, asking she was ok and if she wanted the seat as if to get her away from me. Weird, and maybe I would understand it if I were doing some direct approach (although it would still be stupid) but I literally just asked the girl if she liked my shirt. wtf.
I kind of confronted her and asked the woman if she liked my shirt. I told her I ask strangers about my shirt and that it's because I'm insecure about my appearance with all the snark I could muster (not very much). She told me to find a therapist. I just stood there until she got off. Now I understand what GLL means by "do what you want." I kind of wish I let her have it instead of being as nonconfrontational as I normally am. ugh
Toroidal wrote: I kind of confronted her and asked the woman if she liked my shirt. I told her I ask strangers about my shirt and that it's because I'm insecure about my appearance with all the snark I could muster (not very much). She told me to find a therapist. I just stood there until she got off. Now I understand what GLL means by "do what you want." I kind of wish I let her have it instead of being as nonconfrontational as I normally am. ugh
Haters gonna hate.
But if you really want an excuse, one most glls use is "I'm doing a social pysch experiment"
But it's also good exposure therapy. I hate when girls (usually Latina) "evil eye" me (they eject immediately) so now I'll "evil eye" girls that are bitches. It's a "why-are-you-such-a-bitch" look
Anyway, progress is slow. Try to more of do what you want next time but don't stress over it
The GoodLookingLoser.com forum offers visitors the ability to exchange information and thoughts. Nothing contained within GoodLookingLoser.com forum is the advice, opinion or otherwise the view of any host, owner, server or other provider of services to GoodLookingLoser.com or of Goodlookingloser.com itself. Nothing stated shall be construed to serve as a replacement for competent advice from professionals. Visitors are to make their own independent inquiries before acting on any information contained within the website forum.
I didn't think the "Get Hung" guide would have girls eyeing my bulge. It did.
I didn't think that your exercise and diet advice would have girls checking me out. It did.
I DEFINITELY didn't think that your hair-loss prevention would fix my hairline. Not in a billion years. It mother fucking did. You saved me a crazy amount of time, a ton of money, unnecessary pain, and destroyed my #1 source of anxiety. DESTROYED IT.
Kratom is next!
To anyone reading this, follow through, read this material, APPLY this material, and enjoy life.