This is an opinion website that offers information of a general nature and none of the opinions should be construed as advice. Nothing contained within the site is the advice, opinion or otherwise the view of any host, owner, server or other provider of services to Good Looking Loser. Nothing stated shall be construed to serve as a replacement for competent advice from professionals.
Affiliate Disclosure: At absolutely no expense to you, if you make a purchase, we may receive commissions from some links on this website. That is how our community supports itself. I don't recommend anything that I have not used personally or believe in. Thanks!
Well, I went out to do day 15 and get a bunch of high fives. I went to high-five the first girl, who was actually going to the same orientation as I was. Ignoring the program's rules, I stuck around with her and we ended up exploring the city and hanging out together for 4 hours. I was very touchy and made it quite obvious I liked her, so if she agrees to come out with me again I know she likes me, although I'm pretty sure she did. She was ok with hand around the shoulder, but moved my hand when I went for around the waist.
She seemed kind of like the other two girls' I'd gone out with, doesn't drink very much. She was also pretty shy. Maybe it's because they're all so young (18, 19, 20), or just the culture. She wasn't a local, but she was still Asian. I'm going to try to go out with other Westerners, maybe they'll be more open to drinking/being sexually expressive.
In any case, this marks the first time I've gone out with someone I met in real life, and not just online.
I high-fived more girls. Did it pretty quickly. At first, I did the thing where I just kind of briefly asked people some question at the end, and then did the high-five, but for the last few girls I literally just did the "hey--high five?" thing, so I think I'm getting a bit better.
I was in line for something when I tried chatting up the girl in front of me. Made small talk for a few minutes before she decided to leave.
Classes started today, I sat right down next to a girl and started talking to her (the only reason I have this confidence has been from the AA program). Turns out we're in the same two classes. I'm pretty sure she's not very interested. Either she was trying to ignore me or was just insanely introverted. Whatever the case, I debated asking her to go get food afterward but chickened out. A few minutes later, though, I saw her again, and did it even though I didn't think she liked me, and surprisingly enough she went for it. Note to self: Asking a girl to go get cafeteria isn't really a big deal. I flirted a bit, although the reciprocation was pretty mild. I think I'm going to sit next to her for the rest of the week and try to get her to hang out with me one-on-one somewhere else in the city at the end of it. If that doesn't work, I'll move onto other girls.
Day 16 Part 1
High-fived 12 girls who were standing still. I found this one really hard to start up, and all the old self-consciousness came up again, but eventually got into a bit of a groove and got twelve of them. Will finish tomorrow. I'm now officially further into the program than I've ever been.
Neither of the two girls I met online want to meet me again. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't taking it at least a little bit hard. I realize one date is nothing, but these were the first two dates of my life and I hoped something could come of them. It legitimately seemed like they liked me. Still kissless.
The third girl, the one I met during orientation, has agreed to meet up with me on Saturday. I was pretty shocked she agreed to this. Of the three I've been out with, she easily seemed like the worst lead. She's pretty shy and I was pretty aggressive about touching her. Honestly, she's probably just agreeing to go out to be nice. I won't believe it until I see her at the station on Saturday with my own two eyes.
Yesterday I started feeling pretty depressed. Classes started and I realized that I have no real friends here. Yet again, I feel like I've missed that period where everybody's trying to meet each other. This happened to me in high school, in my college back home, and now here. I thought if I really made progress with approach anxiety before coming to school here that would solve my issues, but unfortunately that was not the case. Feeling pretty alone. Oh well, I only have to get through classes for six weeks and I'm free. I'm just worried about when I get back home. I can't take being alone for the rest of my life.
Went out clubbing alone yesterday and didn't feel self-conscious about being there, like I was when I first started going out. Didn't have the confidence to hit on girls, though.
Day 16 part II
HIgh-fived the last eight girls. This time I didn't bother with any pretenses. I just went up for them and asked for the high-five. I put off starting for a while but managed to pound it out pretty quickly.
Sung my ABC's. Holy shit this was WAY easier than I expected. I probably did the 12 girls in like 15 minutes. I just felt no approach anxiety, went up to girls and started singing. I was feeling pretty great. Probably the funniest encounter was when a local girl started to complete the ABC's after I did "abcdefg" but completely butchered it, lol, tons of letters in the wrong place, and then said something incomprehensible at the end where "next time won't you sing with me" usually goes. Was pretty cute.
My shirt. Some language barrier issues, but not too bad. I felt NO approach anxiety whatsoever. I just walked down a very crowded street and talked to every single girl, and even went up to a few groups just for fun. I was in the zone. The last girl just seemed really into me immediately, but as per the rules I left.
After pounding out 2.5 days of the program in a few hours, I could have kept going but decided to stop. I didn't want to go too crazy, lol. After this i got on the subway and just started asking people if they knew who random American celebrities were just fuck with them, I was in such an extroverted mood.
I decided to go out alone and do the "going out alone at night" drills. But I definitely went out too early, the place was basically dead. Some guy came up to me and told me I couldn't sit at the table without ordering something, and all I did was ask for napkins and tap water, lol. I felt reallly awkward and left, lost all my social momentum. Oh well. I left after that. An issue I've been having is that, I've been to 5+ different places and asked the bartender for a free cup of water. Literally every time they've refused to give it to me and just offered to sell me bottled water instead. I don't know how I'm supposed to do these drills if I can't get water in a cup. Another problem is that a lot of the bars her have no doormen, so I couldn't even do the first drill if I wanted, lol. Furthermore, the bartenders don't really speak English, so making casual conversation with them seems pretty difficult.
Anyway, I'm going to try to go out again the next night and actually do all the drills. Honestly, just hitting on women would probably be a bit easier than dealing with bartenders and doormen at this point.
Day 19: This one was pretty hard for me. I felt so weird going up to girls and just being like "Hey, how's it going?" This was worse because of the language barrier. Usually, girls would just stare at me without saying anything, and it made me feel like a real creep, lol, but eventually I realized they just didn't understand the colloquial English. Twice when I asked girls this question, they told me where they were going instead of how it was going, hah. Whatever, finished it in like 30 minutes.
Day 20: More of just asking people the time/directions (in this case the bathroom), with some random remarks at the end. As with the last drills (Justin Bieber) I was in a really crowded underground shopping mall. Was insanely easy, pounded it out real quick and went right back to feeling good about myself.
Day 21: I've been out alone probably 5-10 times before here, so I wasn't really nervous about that, but I'd only ever hit on girls one night when I was really drunk. I was honestly expecting this day (squeezing girls' arms) to be really easy, but once I actually got to the club I froze up. I probably danced awkwardly for like 15 minutes before I made myself start doing the drill at one point when the bass dropped. Wrapped the drill up in like 15 minutes, was completely sober. Every time I did the drill I was just moving through the crowded dance floor though, and I avoided all eye contact with the girls I was touching. Definitely room for improvement here. There were tons of security around, for some reason I was afraid they would see me harassing girls and kick me out. Also, I remembered what weird places nightclubs are when you're sober, hah.
Went on a date with the girl from orientation again yesterday. My first second date ever. Hung out around the city for like eight hours. Let me put my hands around her shoulders/waist the entire time. Took her to a karaoke place at the end and tried to kiss her twice, turned down both times. Hnng. Still kissless. She seems insanely shy and inexperienced with guys, and doesn't drink. If I were more experienced I would cut her off right now. I have so little experience myself, though, I figure I may as well stick around a little while longer. My only concern is she goes back to her country in five weeks. i dunno what to make of this situation
Day 22 (suspenders): Didn't really feel in the mood to do approaches but I did it anyway. Took a while to do my first one, but then got in the groove. Language barrier issues, as always.
Day 23 (sesame street): Again, just a lot of spam approaching. Only one out of the thirty girls seemed to get the humor, I don't think anyone here knows what Sesame Street is. Oh well. This was the first set of drills where I wasn't really in the mood to do the drills but didn't really feel any approach anxiety. I have had days before where I didn't really feel any anxiety, but those were days I was feeling really in the zone. I only felt kinda ok today, kinda tired, but still didn't feel all that much anxiety.
Day 24 (what do you want for your birthday): I picked a really bad place to do this one. For the past two days of drills I was in a shitty underground mall with tons of young college girls. for this one I went to a high-end mall next to an amusement park with a ton of older people and families. BIG MISTAKE. 30 girls took fucking forever.
I was out for just 7 hours doing this stuff. Officially, I talked to 75 girls today, but I didn't count all the girls that blew me off before I could finish what I wanted to say to them so I probably talked to 90ish girls. I got the normal spread of reactions towrd the beginning, but holy shit those last 30 girls (and especially the last 15) or the day 24 were just BRUTAL. I was exhausted, and I started getting almost all negative reactions. I think I was just in zombie mode or my eyes were just bloodshot or something, but I just pushed through it
honestly just going up and talking to random people is so weird here in this country. I got at least 5 or so really positive reactions today, girls who I think would be pretty happy if I were to do a real approach on them (obviously, maybe they're taken, and this doesn't count all the shy girls that would have gone for me, but it's just an estimate). Ignoring the negative reactions, I'm surprised that even that many girls seemed pretty ok with me.
Day 25: Asked about what's for lunch. Felt pretty out of it at the beginning, thanks in part due to a massive thunderstorm I had to navigate, but managed to get going and get a little momentum. As usual, felt better at the end.
Toroidal wrote: Went on a date with the girl from orientation again yesterday. My first second date ever. Hung out around the city for like eight hours. Let me put my hands around her shoulders/waist the entire time. Took her to a karaoke place at the end and tried to kiss her twice, turned down both times. Hnng. Still kissless. She seems insanely shy and inexperienced with guys, and doesn't drink. If I were more experienced I would cut her off right now. I have so little experience myself, though, I figure I may as well stick around a little while longer. My only concern is she goes back to her country in five weeks. i dunno what to make of this situation
If you don't have much experience, you could follow the
lose your virginity guide
- even if you've lost the vcard, it'll give you a clear idea of how to try to finish this girl - no kiss on the 1st date is no problem (and I think NSA had a few no kiss first dates then banged on the 2nd).
Thanks man. Anyway, I thought for sure she was done with me, but we chilled a little bit today and are going to be hanging out more later this week. Just gotta get the kiss in. Moving on....
Day 26: Arnold. Did this 10 times. Got a bunch of neutral/negative reactions, one really negative reaction (why should I play this game, you're a stranger, go away!), a bunch of confused stares, and two bemused reactions. Honestly, though, I can feel more tangible progress. This is because even though negative reactions were almost assured, I still felt pretty socially free to keep going. The entire set took me only like an hour, though the first few were, as always, the hardest. I can see now how, in the future, I might be able to do direct approaches and genuinely be ok if the girl flips out at me or something.
The GoodLookingLoser.com forum offers visitors the ability to exchange information and thoughts. Nothing contained within GoodLookingLoser.com forum is the advice, opinion or otherwise the view of any host, owner, server or other provider of services to GoodLookingLoser.com or of Goodlookingloser.com itself. Nothing stated shall be construed to serve as a replacement for competent advice from professionals. Visitors are to make their own independent inquiries before acting on any information contained within the website forum.
I didn't think the "Get Hung" guide would have girls eyeing my bulge. It did.
I didn't think that your exercise and diet advice would have girls checking me out. It did.
I DEFINITELY didn't think that your hair-loss prevention would fix my hairline. Not in a billion years. It mother fucking did. You saved me a crazy amount of time, a ton of money, unnecessary pain, and destroyed my #1 source of anxiety. DESTROYED IT.
Kratom is next!
To anyone reading this, follow through, read this material, APPLY this material, and enjoy life.