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Hi, I'm trying to get comfortable talking to girls and be less self-conscious. I have a few weeks of college left and then I'm going to study abroad. I am not old enough to go clubbing in the US but I will be in my target country (in Asia), so I want to make the most of it.
-signed the petition
-listened to the podcast
-I set up okcupid and tinder. This is honestly not something I would have considered if not for it being part of the program, but I think I managed to get my profiles to look decent. I guess I'll know in the coming days if I start getting matches.
-I asked 5 girls for the time. This was slightly harder than I expected, and I got a little bit in my own head. The issue is that I wake up and I don't feel in a very social mood. I ended up skipping a bunch of girls but did eventually complete the drill.
-I asked 5 more girls for the time. For some reason, again, I felt a little self-conscious, especially around the attractive girls. This took me nine minutes.
-This time I asked 5 girls for the time in 1.5 minutes. I did this by picking a floor of the library and circling around the edge, asking girls who were sitting down at the desks there. This was way easier than before and I felt almost no anxiety. I think this was helped significantly by the fact that it feels less weird to talk to someone who's already sitting down than to disrupt someone who's walking somewhere and make them stay there and talk to me, even if only for ten seconds.
-I actually got a number off okcupid (following the guide on this site on how to lose your virginity). I was pretty shocked, considering I'm 19 and she's over 21, and my profile isn't even that great, but I told her I'd call her later today. I'm shitting bricks, and not overly optimistic (especially considering I have no car or place), but it is a slight boost to my ego.
-The main reason I feel self-conscious asking people the time, I think, is I'm afraid people will see me asking multiple people the same question in a short period of time, and they'll think I'm weird or something. Especially since I'm on a college campus, and it's the same people every day, I'm slightly concerned about the program giving me a reputation as just being a really weird guy on campus (or "campus pickup guy," or whatever). It's probably kind of paranoid.
This time I went down to the beach to do the sets. I did them, but again, still felt kind of awkward about it for some reason. I do think I felt a tiny less intimidated by the whole thing by the very end, though.
-It was kind of hard to find girls to approach since it was the weekend, but I eventually did complete the drills. I still felt kind of nervous but it got easier toward the end.
In other news, I met up with some girl from Tinder. I doubt she was actually interested in me though, she was there with a friend, and it was kind of awkward. She's not very attractive, either. Still, it feels like progress, so I'll take it. I'm surprised I got even this far considering my pics are shite.
I asked the girls where a movie theater was and if they'd seen any good movie theaters lately. I'll be honest, this one was harder because I was worried the girls would think I was hitting on them. I kept asking them to explain the directions better a few times to put off asking them if they'd seen any good movies, but I did manage to do it in every case, even though it was kind of a "jumping off a cliff" feeling. I did it and feel pretty good about myself.
In other news, a few days ago I started making eye contact with every girl I see and not looking away until they pass me. This is retraining my brain from before, where my instant reaction was always to look away. I feel my anxiety getting slightly better.
-I went down to the beach again and asked several girls the time, if there was a place to buy cell phones nearby, what cell phone they had, and if they liked it. Again, I felt it getting a bit easier by the end. It's still hard not to be outcome dependent after a bad reaction, though, no matter how much I try to ignore the reactions. It's just an unpleasant feeling when they try to ignore you/get away. Oh well.
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