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Soo here it goes fellas... Trying the impossible...
I asked 6 girls age from 17-50 what time it is. I "accidentely" asked 6 because I got 1 bad response beetween girl no. 1 and 3.
I already had to grin when chris said on the downloaded mp3 that it will feel different this time for asking time and that I wil see what will happen. He was right .
Talked ro a hot girl (first 1 I asked) and my body temperature went up and i had a warm feeling.
1 day off (yesterday) because I had way too much stress...
Ok today I got ignored 2 times and 2 times girls acted like I was gonna steal their bag the FIRST MOMENT UNTIL they'd realise that I was only asking for the time.
I asked 12 girls total. . Today I felt kinda disconnected to the world because the stress I have because the facial lymphedema and my appearince problems that automatically follow with it.
I was nervous but I think it couls be more.
My fight/flight parasympathetic nervous system is imbalanced anyway. Who cares I will try to continue.... Trying the impissible... But to be honest I think I have to redo many drills in future...
Many days off bewteeen day 5 and 6. (fighting depression, worst weather effects my face all time negativly and so on.)
And then today finally day 6.
I asked in total 15 girls.
And when it came to ask if they have already been there I have to realize that it really depends onhow I do look like in that moment. About 99% I would say. #realtalk
First girl was ok (somehow not at the beginning though). Second was walking away and did not turn to me at all while she was answering all 3 questions I throwed on her.( It is frustrating because she did not stop at least, instead she was shocked like many girls on the street when they face me ,-and it really depends on my facial lymphedema -if it is worsen or not in these situations. She was shocked, not mean or anything, only shocked) Third girl was shocked too and somehow she even ignored my third question. Pff...( the hottest one, but who cares)
Fourth was ok and nice. Fifth was like the fourth.
Still I am pretty proud of myself. Although some of these girls acted like I have no penis. Pfff.
Trying the impossible...
Thanks for reading fellas...
By the way the treatment of my facial lymphedema which can cure me ,cost 55000€ and I am on my way to get the treatment. Maybe in 2 months maybe in 1 year or later...
Lost motivation because of the reactions I got.
No pig in the world can say this doesn't affect his psych. For example. I ask for time girls act like I am going to kill them. My facial expression because of my facial lymphedema causes this problem. The pupils of the girls go from normal into small, like they are looking in the sun. (when edema is worsen ). They are shocked ! This is no fucking joke.
I get stressed because I see they don't want to talk at all often.
For now I lost motivation and frustration goes up. I already minimize my pride. They hurt my pride. While walking home 2 girls tried to cross my way to demonstate dominance to me.
I almost never avoid a crash. They also changing directions when I do... As you can see I have also other things I have to fight with in my life.
Hey man I've been reading through your progress. I'm on week 1 of the AA program too and I certainly wish I had your courage. Won't it be great to finish the program and no longer have anxiety around girls? I'll be following your progress and I'm rooting for you on each and every drill.
Day 8 (repeated)
I did it. I repeated it. And I completed it. Not perfectly but over all good. I still can't handle situations when the girls walk away with a shocked face.
But It was also even funny at times today. A girl laughed when I asked her if she liked the grocery store like 'what the fuck is likeable there?!'. It was a sweet laugh though. And a round juicy ass that she had haha...
I hope the following days will be better like today.
Whenever I feel the anxiety (social, approach)
my body temperature drops because of the stress which directly affects my edema.
So I need to relax more. Easier said than done right?! I hope I get more relaxed. For today I am mentaly dried out...
Very very hard today. And the reasons are a pain in my ass again. My brain is so overstressed that my fight/flight gets disabled. I am going to repeat this day till I am good at it. Till I am a human again.
Day 9 (repeated)
So... I went to 15 girls.
I stuttered on some girls, specially at the beginning. I did walk after them when they walked away and I felt stupid while doing it. Like a fool. But in the end I feel better now. Who cares, I mean they know shit about me... It hurts only my ego and my pride at times.
At times some sweet girls laughed and that makes my heart laugh too then. . So there is hope...
I felt the anxiety mostly at the beginning.
Well who knows what will happen with my anxiety when girls were attractive to me even more.
I am fighting with a chronical overstressed brain... Leads to all kind of anxiety if you will.
Whatever. I will repeat this drill until I am happy with the performance .
Day 9 (repeated)
Well what can I say. It is not the same. I mean I am all time overstressed and when it comes to the point when I realize that I actually feel the fight /flight I run away .. Maybe it is the confusion that I suddenly feel some interaction. I hardly feel the adrenaline. Maybe because I am repeating the drill and I am more experienced but why then I can't do the drills perfectly ?! I ask for time she stands there and I should ask if she has ever eaten at whatever. But I don't. I know it is like running away. It is when people are around that can listen to what I say. Most of the time I have no problems with asking.
I try to move to the next drill and I hope that my fight/flight comes back.
I am like on drugs ,i hardly can't feel the beauty of the girls. Sometimes I think It is like cheating when I am not nervous... I hate my life. I am going to repeat this day but for now I move to the next day.
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I didn't think the "Get Hung" guide would have girls eyeing my bulge. It did.
I didn't think that your exercise and diet advice would have girls checking me out. It did.
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Kratom is next!
To anyone reading this, follow through, read this material, APPLY this material, and enjoy life.