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Hi guys, I'm Thomas, 27, decent looking, from Germany. For my self-introduction, please see my signature (soon).
Day 1 (self introduction) is done.
Day 2 (creating this journal) is hereby done too.
Day 3 (online dating profiles), I actually did a few days before finding this AA program.
I'm not a big fan of those dating apps so far though, dunno if it's different in America, but here in Germany, the majority of good looking women are fakes and/or bots. The few that aren't literally have hundreds of unread messages. Will still continue to invest a few minutes every day though.
I got a single number from there at least. She wants me, and from talking to her a bit, I actually really like her, but she's probably just a 5/10. Guess I'll meet her anyway because she's cool and it won't hurt (that's what she said), but it's obviously not what I'm aiming for.
Day 4 (asking 5 girls for the time) I will also do today, as it is the first actual task. Not looking forward to it, lol.
This one was already really tough for me, feel free to laugh. I needed about 90 minutes to ask 5 girls for the time. About 60 minutes to ask the first one.
The first one was decent looking and nice.
The second one was the worst one. I asked her, she looked at her phone, starting to walk away, and only then told me the time. Also just bad vibes in general.
What was kind of cool about this though is that the nicer girl was also significantly better looking. I think that's something that is very common, and it definetly lifted my spirits.
Number 3 was totally average.
Number 4 was strange, probably not a native speaker (or just crazy), but had a bit of a DTF vibe about her... I sticked to the protocol and left though. Almost regret that.
Number 5 was a group of two and the best looking ones today. They were very nice, but just told me the time out of their heads. That was rather strange, especially since they also said the wrong time, lol. If I was an optimist, I'd say my sudden approach and good looks confused them.
To my surprise, I was not happy to have completed the challenge after this, but instead pissed that it took me so incredibly long. On the way home, I then asked two more girls for the time in the course of a minute. That was quite cool. Both were friendly enough.
All in all, I'm content that I finished the task, but not happy at all with how I did that. Tomorrow, I will approach at least 5 more girls in less time, before I move on to the next task.
Yoyoyo! As you could probably understand from my post above, I wasn't exactly happy with the outcome of today.
So after I came back and worked for 2 hours (had to do something), I simply went into the city again and did the same task once more. Aaand this time I managed to approach 5 girls (or group of girls) in 24 minutes! That's obviously still really slow and bad, don't worry, I know that, but still. From 90 to 24 on the same day is a decent progression, I'd say.
Not going to go into too much detail this time... the first girl was really strange again and literally walked TEN METRES away from me, while pulling out her phone, and only then stopping to tell me the time. But, guess what? She wasn't good looking again. I really see the pattern here.
The other four (two solo, two groups of two) were all nice. In fact, one group of two girls tried to talk to me when I was moving away, but I just said "bye" politely and moved on. I was really that focussed on the task, lol.
Went grocery shopping afterwards. When I went out of the shop, I saw a cute girl and smiled in her face like an idiot. She smiled back. Good day.
I'm really happy. The task was to ask 5 girls for the times, just like the day before, and then ask 5 more, but faster.
If you read my posts above, you know that the first 5 girls took me a ridicoulus 90 minutes. On the same day, I did it all over again though, and managed to do it in 24 minutes.
So, this time I planned to do the first 5 in <20 and the next 5 in <10. I think this was quite an ambitous goal for someone who needed 90 minutes the day before. ^^
So I did the first 5 - and I needed 24 minutes. Yup, exactly the same as the last 5 before. Not really bad, but also no progress. Well, I felt that it was fine as long as I could do the next 5 significantly faster.
And I did - 7 minutes!!!!! I was so freaking happy with myself.
Now just a few details:
-Only one out of the 10 girls did the 'answer while walking away' move.
-The BY FAR hottest girl (she was amazing, really!) also had the most positive response by far. She had earphones on, so she took them off when I approached and smiled already. So I asked her for the time, she got her smartphone out, but before looking at the time, she guessed what the time would be. She was four minutes off. I complimented her on being close, said thanks, smiled and left. Great stuff.
I have said this multiple times, but I'll say it again: The hotter the girl, the nicer they are. Obviously just a correlation with exceptions.
24 minutes is a nice step from 90 minutes the first time. 7 minutes is awesome.
Re: hot girls, I've found the same thing. Super hot girls are generally pretty darn nice, and happy. ( *Most of them*, there are always exceptions.) I'm guessing hot girls don't get approached much (since they're so intimidating) so they're happy to have a confident guy talking to them.
killtheinnerloser: Hey, thanks for your comment! It's really motivating to see that someone actually reads this, haha. Also thanks for your kind words and insight, I totally agree on the latter.
Day 6: Done.
Phew, this wasn't easy due to multiple reasons. The task was to ask a girl for the time, then another girl for time & a location, and then yet another for time, location, and whether she'd been at said location already. That times 5, so 15 in total.
I did it all, but I needed 90 minutes for it. This time, I'm not really to blame though, it was a bit too late already and there were simply few girls on the street. I seldom hesitated to approach, so even if the time looks like much, I'm happy with myself.
Regarding the task itself, I didn't have problems with asking for a location - on the contrary, I found this to be a way more natural question than the time (which I, by now, don't mind asking anymore either though).
However, the third question ('Have you been there?') was really tough. It's a kind of retarded question because if a person knows the way perfectly, they have been there most of the time, and if they don't, they obviously haven't.
Also, it's basically the first question that people are not obliged to answer. If someone doesn't tell you what time it is or where to find xy, she's an idiot. But this was the first actual smalltalk, which also made it harder.
I semi-cheated and always asked 'So you've been there already?', almost like a statement, to make it seem less awkward. Fun fact: The very first girl I asked this, I acidentally said 'So you've been there already ASWELL?', haha.
Well... basically all people were nice. Really everyone, actually. As I said, it was rather late, and I think I prefer actual daygame. On the day, noone ever approaches anyone, so it's automatically exciting. At this time though (especially on weekends, which it also was), drunk losers stumble through the street, saying crap to every cute girl they wouldn't dare to say if they were sober. Quite pathetic, really.
Oh, one more thing, one girl actually walked me to the place, without me wanting that, but I couldn't really refuse. Sadly, she was also probably the ugliest out of all 15, so I didn't engage in much conversation on the way.
On my way back, I sat next to an actual 10 on the train. Didn't dare to say a word or do something. This whole approaching thing is really like a switch... once you pretend to just play a game, it's really easy. But in the second you stop and go back to normality, it becomes as tough as it used to be. At least for now. We'll see what we can do about that in the future.
Yeah man, I try and read most people's AA journals. Don't always have time to reply tho. Others are probably doing the same thing. So just trust that people are reading
Remember, the time doesn't matter *too much*. As the days go on, you'll naturally start to be more confident, less nervous, you'll care less about bad reactions, and you'll practice "getting in there" and being super quick with the drills. All of that will naturally make you faster. I used to take about an hour or more to do the drills, now I can do MUCH HARDER drills in about 20-30 mins.
Also get used to asking "retarded questions" like "have you been there?" I think the reason Chris gets us to ask stupid questions like that is to get used to the fact that hitting on chicks is not always "smooth". Sometimes it's awkward, sometimes you say dumb stuff, sometimes she says dumb stuff - but you'll still get laid. You have to embrace the fact you're going to be asking dumb questions and looking like an idiot, because that's a big reason we have so much AA - we're afraid of looking like a weirdo.
When I did the drills one girl walked me to the place too, I couldn't believe it. Isn't it awesome that there's such nice people walking around out there? And we never would meet them if we didn't say hi and ask for the time. You're gonna meet SO many more AWESOME girls as you go through the program.
When you sit next to a 10, try this: Just say "Hey excuse me, you got the time on you?" You can do that, right? Because you've practiced it, you already know how to ask for the time. Don't say anything else, just ask for the time and then say thankyou - you're not allowed to say anything else but that. Try it next time you see a REALLY hot chick. Gotta practice talking to them.
You're totally right, sooner or later, it is supposed to be awkward. On this day, I just didn't really know if it wasn't just the wording/problems of translation. ^^ Don't worry, I won't search excuses when I'm supposed to do awkward stuff.
Actually, I just thought about it yesterday evening... I'd really like to start to just randomly ask girls for their numbers and/or compliment them on the street. Not that I wouldn't be anxious, but I wouldn't be more anxious than asking her for a phone store or something as I'm supposed to in week 2. But well... of course I'll stick to the protocol and not rush it.
And you're also totally right about the 10. Will talk to the next one definetly, even if it is just the time.
Sadly, I have to leave town for 4 days now. I need to accompany some People, so I won't be able to do any drill at all. :/ This sucks a bit, but I guess it's better to have that happen early on than in the middle. In the worst case, I'll just do the few days all over again afterwards.
I also wanted to use the chance to talk about online dating a bit. To be honest, I'm not a big fan of it. I spent quite a lot of time on that now (at least about an hour a day for the last week), and not much has happened. I did get a few numbers and even more girls that are into me, but they are literally never higher than a 6. I'm not a great approacher obviously, or I wouldn't do this challenge, but even I can get something better than that in less time in real life. All hot girls have hundreds of unread messages or are fake in the first place, and even worse, they're SO fucking entitled online, I_refuse to be nice to these kind of people and thus reward their behaviour. So I think I'll kinda drop the online dating stuff. I will meet 2 girls from there whos numbers I already have, one boring one and the other one I actually really like, and that's that then I guess.
Have you got a link to your online dating profile we can check out? When I first tried online dating it really sucked, only ugly girls would reply. I've tweaked a lot of things and now I get a decent number of 7s and 8s without too much effort, have been on a few dates with some really cute girls.
Don't drop online dating - you made a commitment when you signed up for this AA program. Don't change the program, do EXACTLY as it says. If online isn't working, ask for some help. Only losers quit when something isn't going well, and if you're in this program you're not a fucking loser.
I just came back today. Will go out tomorrow and either do the next day or repeat an old one.
Regarding your post: I had no intention of 'giving up' or something. It's simply that my goal ACTUALLY mainly is to beat approach anxiety to profit in every aspect of my life (Business, social circles, and so on). Of course, getting girls is quite a big part of that, but not everything... and online dating basically skips the steps I'm worst at, and thus want to focus improving in.
That being said: Don't worry. I couldn't go out these days, but I had a bit of free time and Wi-Fi... I talked to quite a lot of girls on these apps by now.. Actually already more than I can manage at one time. Some average ones, some good looking ones. I have 4 dates in the next week. ^^
Still, it kind of bores me. I will of course go on these dates, but basically only to improve my 'escalation game' (which sucks). Everything else - talking for longer periods of time, making them like you - I'm quite confident in.
I'm way more looking forward to the adrenaline rush of the next approach. It's really quite addictive.
Yeah my escalation game isn't great either. We just gotta practice and get better. I usually bang girls on the 2nd or 3rd date, would love to get good at doing it on the 2nd date consistently. And then work on doing it on the 1st date sometimes.
If you can do the AA drills, dates are actually pretty easy in comparison. I'm always more nervous about doing the AA drill than meeting a new girl.
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Kratom is next!
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