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I loved Day 27 (Where’s the Beach!), which I did on Wednesday, September 9. I was excited about it until the day came where I had to do it, and I got pretty nervous about it. But once I got started I had fun with it. Interestingly, the hardest part of these drills was the first round, where I just say, “hey, I have a question” and then leave. That’s my nice guy shit coming up, since I think it’s too rude to just leave after saying that. A lot of times I said “never mind” if they were walking in my direction. One time, I did that and the girl responded, “actually I have a question for you!” (she wanted to know where the bathroom was… possibly a sign of interest, but hey, I’m not approaching girls, I’m doing AA drills). Most girls laughed pretty hard when I started flexing. My favorite was the hottest girl I approached (smoking 9/9.5). She was the last rep in a set so I had to flex for 10 seconds. As soon as I started flexing she turned and walked away, and I swear I heard her cracking up as she was leaving.
Also, tapping girls on the shoulder was interesting. I ended up startling most of the girls I tapped, but then most of them were nice and some even seemed slightly embarrassed or ashamed for getting startled. Thinking back I was doing a little more than tapping on the shoulder, I was actually touching them.
I figured Day 28 (Nerd Glasses) would be easier than Day 27, which it pretty much was. I knocked this one out on Thursday, September 10. I hit a big milestone on this day! When I approached the second girl, she kept walking and I’m pretty sure she said, “you’re creepy”. YES!! I’m a creep! I was butthurt for 30 seconds or so, then reminded myself that’s the point, in a way. I’m not trying to creep girls out, but until I’m comfortable doing so, I won’t be hitting on the girls who are actually interested in me. The rest were pretty uneventful, though I kept startling most of the girls when I touched them. Again I was probably just overdoing it a little, which I figure is even more exposure therapy. Then I went home and scooped up three numbers off of Tinder! All Asians haha. I match with a lot of Asians on Tinder for some reason...
Friday I was slammed, Saturday I was planning to see one of the girls but that fell through, Sunday I met one of the other girls.
Then came Day 29 (x2 High-Five), which I wanted to do Monday, but I ended up “creatively avoiding” it by deciding I had too much other stuff to do that evening. I went to Venice Beach yesterday (Tuesday) to do it, but couldn’t get myself into it and left. I took off from work early today to make sure I had enough time to get it done.
It took about 20 minutes of pacing around for me to get started, but then I finally just did it: super, super high five! Amazingly, I was on a 100% winning streak until the 10th girl! Every single one of the girls I approached actually gave me a double high five (even a girl on roller skates!), although in one case there were two girls who both high-fived me at once (they had shit in their hands so that made more sense). The first couple of attempts with the last girl I just didn’t “get in there” enough and they only gave me single high-fives. Haha then the 10th girl I got a double five from at first only gave me a single five, but then i said, “no, get both of them!”, and her friend took her phone out and asked to take a picture of me asking her friend for a super high five. Haha she took a short video of me doing it, where the girl actually double-fived me, and probably snap-chatted it to her friends. That was hilarious. I did an 11th rep in case the one where two girls gave me single high fives didn’t count. It's amazing how much anxiety I had about that at the beginning, and how quickly it just disappeared.
Only one day left of Week 4, which is the bar drill. Interestingly enough, I actually considered adding “nice” after the arm squeeze when I was doing the first bar drill at the end of Week 3, because I thought it would make it less weird and easier for me. I ended up not doing that (since it’s not part of the drill). I’m nervous about doing it, but I was nervous about the last bar drill too and it ended up taking me like 20 minutes. I’m starting a VLog once I finish Week 4.
Also, I want to log my fat loss progress here with pictures. I haven't made any progress yet because I kept cheating on my diet, which includes drinking pretty heavily with my roomies. New policy is no cheating on meals at all, zero, and also, unfortunately, zero drinking. I can still go out with my roomies but I'll be chugging water instead. It's only temporary, and I'm so excited about getting ripped. This week I think I'm starting to feel the low-carb fever, which means I should be successfully transitioning to ketosis.
Thanks for the support buddy! Good luck with your AA journey, it’s quite an experience! You’ll probably hit your own obstacles like I did, and as long as you’re dedicated you’ll make it through.
Saturday night I finally finished Week 4! I did Day 30 at a couple of bars at the Manhattan Beach pier. They were pretty loud and crowded, so I doubt any of the girls heard me say “nice”/“cute”, but I made a point to look at them and smile when I said it, instead of just walking by like I did for the last bar drill. I was nervous at first, and even though I’m not supposed to be drinking (for my fat loss diet) I grabbed a beer to mellow out a little. Once I did ten at the first bar, I went across the street to another bar, and stood in line for about half an hour. While I was out there this one girl small-talked with me some, then I talked to her friend who was pretty touchy-feely with me so I put my arm around her and we slightly danced for a little bit. Later, after I finished the drills, I found her inside and got her number. I didn’t follow up and probably won’t, I’m just glad I practiced doing that. That put me in a better mood and I knocked out the next round of 10 rapid-fire, one after the other (the bar was totally packed so it was a good environment). The whole trip took about an hour and a half.
For some reason, the gesture of squeezing a girl’s arm comes off as weird to me. I actually feel more comfortable putting my hand on a girl’s shoulder, but I’m not changing the drill. It’s actually good that I think girls (more-so onlookers) will get weirded out by squeezing their arms, and while I think I got a couple of, “what was that?” faces (though that’s likely my own interpretation), most of them just looked over to see who touched them.
For Day 31, I shall reflect on my experience so far. The hardest drill was the first high-five drill, which took me almost a week and several tries to do. Physical contact is where things get tough for me. A good exercise for me would be to go to Venice during the day on a Saturday and high-five 50 girls.
Things are going well, but I’m a little concerned I’m trying too hard to “get through it”. I can definitely do the drills, and every day I’ve done them I enjoyed the last few rounds and they were “easy”. That’s why I haven’t felt the need to repeat any days except the high-five days (I also repeated the first “get in there” drill because I definitely did not “get in there” the first time). But I totally get what Chris means when he says this isn’t a race, and the last thing I’d want is to “finish” the program and still have AA. So I have a question for other people who have done the program: if the thought of repeating a day makes me nervous, should I repeat it until it doesn’t? For example, I know I could repeat the, “Who’s Your Daddy” day easily and get into the groove once I do a couple of reps. But I don’t want to. I would probably get a little anxious in the lead-up. Should I repeat any days in the program that give me any anxiety when thinking about repeating them?
Either way, I have definitely made progress and talk to girls more than I did before starting the program. I am heeding Chris’ suggestion to be a perfectionist with this so I’m considering identifying and repeating all the drills that make me even slightly nervous to think about them. Honestly, the biggest thing stopping me from doing that is impatience. I’ve already been doing this for 3 months and don’t want it to take too much more time… but then again, I’d hate to do it “quickly” and realize I have to do it all over again.
I have *got* to stop taking so many days off. I used the, “it’s a bar drill, have to wait until the weekend” excuse, which really isn’t true, but even it is, I could have repeated previous days during the week to fill in the gap. The problem is I’m being lazy/nervous, and not just with AA drills. I’m being lazy/nervous with life, and for the entirety of 2015 I’ve had a pretty good idea of why: I smoke way too much weed. I smoke every day, multiple times, and I’ve been trying to cut down or quit for the whole year. I am mentally focusing on what is possible for me if I do quit, and focusing on how much I regret it every time I smoke (I don’t really like being stoned anymore, I just do it because I’m used to it and as self-medication for general anxiety, which provides only very temporary relief before making it worse). I’m fairly certain the general anxiety I have (it’s not attached to anything in my life, it’s just a feeling of being physically tense and worked up) is caused by always being either stoned or technically withdrawing. I have dates worked out for when I can smoke moving forward, with a once-per-week frequency for 4 weeks, then one-per-two-weeks frequency, gradually down to once-per-month, which is what I want to maintain. Every now and then weed is fine, but the way I’m abusing it, it really does create “amotivation” (I’ve researched the pharmacology and the effects that constant THC consumption has on dopamine levels and response verify this) and worsens anxiety (for the same reason: dopamine). I’ve quit before (for reasons out of my control), and it’s not that bad. A few days of trouble sleeping and then dealing with cravings for a while, nothing serious. Every time I've had a moment of real success with being confident with women it was when I deliberately avoided smoking weed for at least a brief period.
I am focusing on nutrition and health right now, specifically on making sure I get enough of all the important micronutrients (esp. magnesium), as well as enough sleep. If 4 months from now, after cutting down substantially with weed and sticking with good nutrition/exercise/sleep, if I still have high anxiety (not enough to stop me, it just makes life less fun than it should be), I’m going to the doctor to get a blood test. Ironically, I really don’t like needles so my anxiety is stopping me from getting a blood test to determine exactly what is causing my anxiety. That’s not even as a measure to help me beat AA. I’ll probably be done with the program and past AA in 4 months. That’s for general quality of life.
Okay, so instead of asking a question when I damn well know what the answer is, I’ll just answer it myself. Yes, any drills that still make me nervous, I need to redo them. I looked through the drills I’ve done and noted which ones give me butterflies. So Week 5 is going on the shelf for now. This is actually good, since I’m quitting the daily weed smoking this week, so my anxiety is going to be a little higher than normal. Here’s the game plan:
Repeat “Birthday” Drill on 30 girls
Repeat “What’s for Lunch” Drill on 30 girls
Repeat “Who’s Your Daddy” Drill on 20 girls
Repeat “Where’s the Beach” Drill on 30 girls
Repeat “Nerd Glasses” Drill on 30 girls
Repeat “High Five” Drill on 50 girls
Repeat “Stationary High Five” Drill on 20 girls
Repeat “Super High Five” Drill on 20 girls
Repeat “Squeeze Girls Arm, Say ‘Nice/Cute’” on 20 girls, 3 nights in a row (Thursday, Friday, Saturday)
Week 5 will commence once I have done all of that and get to a point where none of these drills give me anxiety thinking about doing them. I used yesterday to rest and get refocused, and will be jumping back in today.
I went to repeat the Birthday drill Tuesday but I just couldn’t get into it. Possibly a combination of low carb flu and anticipating weed withdrawal, though it doesn’t really matter. I did avoid smoking any weed both Tuesday and Wednesday, so that process finally got started.
I decided to repeat all of Week 4, and I need to spend more than just half an hour doing drills. I should be spending an hour or more doing them. I think a good way to approach it moving forward is to make sure I do at least the minimum requirements of the drill, AND execute the drills for 1+ hours (whichever takes longer). I need more exposure therapy to make sure I really become completely comfortable with the drills. I figure when I’m finished, I should be completely bored doing them.
I repeated the Suspenders drill Wednesday, doing the “full” drill (the last rep of a set) every time. I got to the mall pretty late so it was pretty empty, but I stuck with it right up to closing time for about 50 minutes and got 16 reps in. I’m re-adjusting my schedule to make sure I have more time and bigger crowds. Either way I was pretty bored with the drill by the time I finished, so I’m happy with that.
I repeated the Sesame Street drill yesterday, getting about 33 reps in for a full hour of exposure therapy. By the time I was done I was totally bored with the drill.
Tonight I’m repeating the first bar drill, for an hour or more on at least 20 girls. I’m repeating that again tomorrow night. I'm definitely anticipating it with some anxiety so it's a good idea to repeat it.
New Game Plan:
Repeat “Squeeze Girls Arm” on 20+ girls, 1+ hours, 2 nights in a row (Friday, Saturday)
Repeat “High Five” Drill on 100+ girls, 2+ hours
Repeat “Stationary High Five” Drill on 50+ girls, 1+ hours
Repeat “Birthday” Drill on 30+ girls, 1+ hours
Repeat “What’s for Lunch” Drill on 30+ girls, 1+ hours
Repeat “Who’s Your Daddy” Drill on 20+ girls, 1+ hours
Repeat “Where’s the Beach” Drill on 30+ girls, 1+ hours
Repeat “Nerd Glasses” Drill on 30+ girls, 1+ hours
Repeat “Super High Five” Drill on 20+ girls, 1+ hours
Repeat “Squeeze Girls Arm, Say ‘Nice/Cute’” on 20+ girls, 3 nights in a row (Thursday, Friday, Saturday), 1+ hours
This weekend was totally jam-packed with AA drills! My new mindset is to actually embrace anxiety and learn to crave it. From what I can tell, anxiety and excitement are the same sensation, the only difference being how you think about it.
I did the first bar drill on Friday night, for a solid hour. I was at a pretty big and crowded bar so I managed to squeeze 40+ girls' arms while I was there. I was really uncomfortable at first, as I was stone cold sober and I can't drink (cutting diet). I'm glad to get exposure to being in bars sober though. After 10-15 minutes I got fairly comfortable. I managed to get bored with the drill probably about 30 minutes into it. After that my mind was mostly focused on my height haha (I didn't wear my height-increasing shoes).
Saturday, I spent a solid 2 hours at the Venice Boardwalk high fiving girls as they walked by. I wanted to get 100+ in, but I only got 80. That's still pretty good, and by the end of that I was completely bored with it. Saturday night, I went to the Hermosa pier and spent an hour in a bar squeezing girls' arms as I walked by. I only got about 22 in this time, but by that point I had squeezed almost every girl's arm in the place. Again, I was very uncomfortable at first, but got used to it in about 15 minutes.
Yesterday I spent an hour doing stationary high fives. I only managed to get 17 in. At Venice there are definitely not as many stationary targets, but I think I can do better, so I'll repeat that again next weekend. Then I spent an hour doing super high fives, and got in 20. I want to repeat that one again next weekend too because I wasn't quite utterly bored with it when I finished (though I was close).
Today I'll be repeating the birthday drill for 1+ hours.
I managed to waste 3 whole weeks texting with a super hot girl I met from Tinder, who blew me off like 5 times but kept apologizing for it and promising me we'd eventually meet. She did it again last Thursday so I sent her a snarky text message and moved on. I made the mistake of not using Tinder and putting all my eggs in that one basket. That's never a good idea, so I deleted and recreated my Tinder profile and will be hitting the online numbers hard once again. Hopefully I can get some quality action from there soon. I am going to try being more sexually forward with the girls I meet on Tinder, instead of talking to them like friends.
The class I was taking is done, so right now life is all about 2 things: beating AA, and getting ripped (<8% BF). With complete dedication, spending 1-2 hours on weekdays and 2-4 hours on weekends doing drills, I should be able to beat AA in 6-8 weeks. That said, it's not a race, and I'll beat it when I beat it.
On Monday I did the birthday drill... I only did it for about 35-40 minutes, but I was completely bored with it by that time, so I was satisfied.
Tuesday I was thrown a sudden curveball (I won't go into great detail, but family members randomly attacking everything I'm doing, including the AA program, telling me I should stop and hire hookers instead, and giving me shit for wearing height-increasing shoes once... pissed me off quite a bit and I eventually told him to fuck off) and that put me in a really bad mood so I didn't do any drills that day. I need to be stronger with that kind of stuff, it's gonna happen and I can't let it derail me.
Wednesday, I went to do the "What's for Lunch" drill but pussied out after doing on rep. So I did it again on Thursday, and this time I stuck at it for a full hour and got about 33 reps in. That was really good because I still had anxiety about doing that drill and totally crushed it by the end (haha this one girl noticed I was doing it over and over and asked me what I was doing, I told her I just like seeing the reactions I get, which she thought was funny). Most girls were amused, and one girl got kinda bitchy and said, "stop talking to me!". By the end it was totally easy and boring to do the drill.
I was planning to repeat the bar drill Thursday, Friday and today, but I pussied out both Thursday and yesterday. I'm not happy about that, but I'm also not gonna get all negative about it. I realized I do what Chris calls the "sports mentality" thing where I try to be my own drill sergeant. If I don't get so worked up when I get lazy like that I'm actually more likely to not continue to be lazy (usually laziness for results from over-stressing myself). No big deal I just need to stay focused and dedicated.
I'm getting ready now to repeat the "Who's Your Daddy" drill for an hour, and follow it with the, "Where's the Beach?" drill for another hour. Tonight, I'm doing the second bar drill for at least an hour. Tomorrow I'm gonna finish up the repeats of Week 4 and possibly some of the high-five drills, so that on Monday I can hit the ground running with Week 5.
I used what happened on Tuesday as an excuse to smoke more weed than I have been, and it so painfully obvious that derailed me. So I'm really committed to getting past that, I want to be done with weed by the end of this year, if not sooner. It cannot be any more clear to me how much it costs me to be a stoner. I'm done with that lifestyle. Now I just have to break the habit, which I've started doing (I haven't been smoking during the day lately). Next week I'm avoiding smoking entirely until Sunday night. I've done that before so I just need to stay focused on how much my life will improve if I do that.
So on Saturday night I repeated the 2nd bar drill (Day 30). I went too early, so there weren’t enough people for me to really rapid-fire execute, but once I got in the groove I would literally go right for a new girl in the bar the second I saw her. This one girl gave me a dirty look when I squeezed her arm and then I saw her pointing and staring at me later. She was dyke-y (buzzed hair) and kind of ugly, which figures. Those are the kinds of girls who will act like that (if I had to guess, I’d say she generally doesn’t like guys). The rest were neutral/positive reactions. I got about 22 reps in, and while it was pretty loud and probably none of them heard me say, “nice/cute”, I made sure to slow down and look at them and smile when I said it. By the end, walking past a girl and squeezing her arm, whether I said anything or not, was just plain easy (unless it’s a really hot girl with a bunch of her hot friends, I need more exposure to that). I ran into my roommates when I left and hung out with them a little longer, then went to sleep.
Sunday started off with some good news at the gym: I lost 1.5% of body fat last week, and gained a pound of muscle! Finally my cutting is fucking working haha!
I repeated the “Nerd Glasses” drill, though I only did it for about half an hour and got about 10 reps in. I was totally exhausted after an intense workout with my trainer in the morning and then getting my ass whooped by the ocean for an hour, and I actually think that drill is easier than the “Where’s the Beach” drill. I was totally bored/comfortable by the end, so I’m happy with that. This mall I’ve been going to just opened up this whole new part, so it’s more than double the size now, and the crowd is much bigger, which is perfect. It’s really close to my house.
Yesterday I got started on Week 5. I figured Day 32 would be pretty easy, since when I’m out with my friends I usually start up conversations with girls by giving them non-sexual compliments (my favorite is to compliment tattoos and start a convo about them). I got a little nervous doing it during the day, but it was still pretty easy. I took about 30 minutes to do the bare minimum of talking to 18 girls, then did the “final” rep on another 10 girls for another 20 minutes, until I was totally comfortable/bored with it.
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I didn't think the "Get Hung" guide would have girls eyeing my bulge. It did.
I didn't think that your exercise and diet advice would have girls checking me out. It did.
I DEFINITELY didn't think that your hair-loss prevention would fix my hairline. Not in a billion years. It mother fucking did. You saved me a crazy amount of time, a ton of money, unnecessary pain, and destroyed my #1 source of anxiety. DESTROYED IT.
Kratom is next!
To anyone reading this, follow through, read this material, APPLY this material, and enjoy life.