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Yesterday was too jam-packed with other shit for me to do any drills. Today I am moving into my new house but hopefully that won't take literally all day and I'll be able to get Day 18 in. If not Day 18 and Day 19 tomorrow. Both are talking drills and should be fairly easily for me. Unfortunately I have way too much experience with acting gay. I didn't realize it at the time but in high school and early college I acted gay around hot girls as a way to avoid even trying to come off as attractive and/or masculine. So I won't have any issue with that haha.
Hey Losers. I've been busy moving into my new place (definitely took all day Saturday haha, plus most of Sunday) and have had limited connectivity, but I did manage to get Day 18 in on Monday. Yesterday I went and met up with another girl from Tinder. She's not super hot but she's cute and definitely fuckable, so I'll try to get drinks with her this weekend. This other really hot girl matched with me then after messaging with me gave me her number, but then she stopped responding as soon as I pitched a meetup haha. Fuckin' girls, man.
Day 18 took around 30 minutes. It was easy, I wasn't bothered by having my clothes evaluated. In fact I actually thought about doing that routinely just to gauge how good my style is, but the problem is girls are gonna say positive things even if they don't mean it in that situation. I don't think I got any negative responses (I was wearing a plain white dress shirt from work haha).
On Sunday the hot girl I've seen twice from Tinder told me she didn't want to see me anymore. I had a feeling that was going to happen after I saw her, because I invited her to watch a movie with me at my place but didn't even put my arm around her. I've gotta stop doing that, because I've lost so many girls the exact same way. I guess it's just sexual anxiety, and now I'm absolutely sure if I don't make a move on girls in situations like that I'll probably not see them again, so anything that goes through my head about "messing it up" is just a cover for the sexual anxiety. Hopefully that experience will push me to man up from now on.
sweatervest wrote: On Sunday the hot girl I've seen twice from Tinder told me she didn't want to see me anymore. I had a feeling that was going to happen after I saw her, because I invited her to watch a movie with me at my place but didn't even put my arm around her. I've gotta stop doing that, because I've lost so many girls the exact same way. I guess it's just sexual anxiety, and now I'm absolutely sure if I don't make a move on girls in situations like that I'll probably not see them again, so anything that goes through my head about "messing it up" is just a cover for the sexual anxiety. Hopefully that experience will push me to man up from now on.
I was having trouble converting dates from online into anything sexual because I was just playing for the second date, one girl in retrospect was literally begging me to kiss her, brought me to this secluded lake at sunset, brushing her tits against my arm etc and I did nothing and lo and behold, she lost interest. Then I read that article, applied it, and my next date turned into a regular fuckbuddy. Give it a go and see if it helps next time.
Everybody wants to go to heaven but nobody wants to die.
Dude, that's so funny because I read that article a while ago and it definitely hit me like a ton of bricks, and suddenly I realized I overthink what I say to girls because I'm trying to make it look like a scene from a movie. But only now do I get that it's the same issue with making that first move. "But it won't be smooth" is exactly what was going through my head when I didn't make a move on that girl (and all the other one's I've done that to). Thanks for sharing dude, I'm gonna have that exact thing in mind next time and hopefully I'll have a fuckbuddy soon!
Sorry to keep everyone hanging again, I've had really poor connectivity lately due to moving, just got internet yesterday and my phone's data plan maxed out a few days ago. Also I decided last minute to go to Splash House, a big pool/EDM party in Palm Springs this weekend. That was pretty sweet, I was a little disappointed in myself for not talking to too many girls the first night, but the second day I spent pretty much the entire time talking with random girls in the pool, to the point my new roommates actually noticed and talked about it. I danced with a couple girls in their bathing suits too, that was fun. No action, but I've never even been that guy who's talking to chicks. That happened because I'm beating AA. I'm still not even close to done but what a world of difference it's already made. Most girls I talked to I started dancing with, and most pulled away (though a couple were into it), and that was good because my lack of experience prevented me from seeing how girls behave when they're not into me (they won't let you touch them). That makes it way more obvious when girls are into me.
I did Day 19 last Wednesday, which went fine, although it took a bit longer because the mall I went to was fairly empty. This one girl seemed really eager to help me, and I actually ran into again a couple of times and she kept talking to me. Maybe something could have happened there, but I'm doing AA drills, not picking up chicks! Last Thursday I went out and drank with my new roommates and was horribly hung over most of Friday haha. I should be able to do Day 20 today. I have a little bit more moving to do but I'm almost done with all that.
Tuesday I decided to get some moving shit done, and Wednesday I went to do the Day 20 drills but it was 8:30 by the time I got to the mall and it was too empty. So I knocked it out yesterday, took about half an hour. It felt a little weird saying, "I mean the mens' room" haha, but overall it was pretty easy and I didn't really have any trouble with it.
I'm going to do Day 21 tonight after I get out of class. I'll be right around Venice Beach so I'll just head over to the bars/clubs there, which should be packed.
I deleted and recreated my Tinder account last night, to see if I can start pulling in double digits per day matches again. Nothing yet (just a few so-so matches), but we'll see how it goes. I'm currently using the same pictures/text that worked really well last time.
I just got back from doing Day 21. I was pretty nervous about it, but I grabbed a beer and just jumped right into squeezing girls' arms and it ended up only taking me about 15 minutes or so. The last time I did it I felt self-conscious and went to stand somewhere where the girl I just touched didn't see me. But I wanted to end on a higher note so I threw in an extra rep. I didn't tonight but I want to start doing the challenges moving forward.
I also finally decided to ask one of my co-workers out. She said no, but I'm proud of myself for taking her into a small meeting room and telling her straight-up, "I think you're really attractive and if you're available and interested I'd like to get a drink with you".
Okay I’ve been lazy/tied up the last few days and haven’t started Week 4 yet. I am starting it this evening.
I have been making good, steady progress since I started, but I have been taking a lot of days off so I definitely think I can make faster progress, although I know it isn’t a race. Either way, I am going to start knocking out more than one day of drills on days where I have lots of time. Also, my “bulking” phase is ending after August, and for the “cutting” phase I’ll be mostly if not entirely working out in the morning, so all of my weekday evenings will be free. I should be able to do two days of drills each evening, and hopefully even more on weekends.
I have been out with my new roommates a couple of times, and I am finding that I can now talk to random girls at night pretty easily, but I’m still not that good about physical contact. The higher level drills will take care of that. Either way, I care a *lot* less about getting rejected. I'm starting to internalize the "onto the next one" mentality.
Once I start cutting I’m going to push myself into ketosis (I have a diet planned out with <50g of carbs per day) and hopefully be really shredded in 3 months or so. Then it’ll be time for another photo shoot. I think that’s what I need to get to the next level with online dating.
Tinder is weird. I cannot get back to the level of matches I was getting earlier, even using the same profile and deleting/recreating my account. I think I just need to use it more and start posting moments again and change the pictures up frequently. I did get a number last night I’m gonna follow up on later today though.
Alrighty, I knocked out Day 22 on Tuesday. No trouble there, though the initial “hey” was a little challenging. I am now actually doing the challenges, so I did the whole “you can see my asscrack” thing three times. The first time I think as soon as I said “asscrack” it soured the whole interaction haha, but the next two thought it was hilarious. Unfortunately I had to take my laptop in for repair so I was only able to do one day of drills.
I did Day 23 yesterday. I had fun with it. One of my biggest hold-backs, though this is less of an issue now that I understand it, is that I am Mr. Funny Man. One of Chris’ articles (I’ll find it and link to it later) describes me to a tee: a guy who is legitimately pretty funny (at least when I’m not trying to be) and therefore ends up getting a lot of platonic girl friends who are way out of his league. I used to hate that about myself, and while I’m definitely committed to getting out of the “Friend Zone” with those super hot girls and actually fucking them, at least I’m friends with them and can get along with them really well. For some guys really hot girls are like an alien species.
For the last round of 10, I did the challenge of following up, “Do you know how to get to Sesame Street” with “I’m not a rapist”. Haha that was so funny, I was a little nervous at first at getting really negative reactions, but I think every girl I said it to laughed. I did that for 7 of the girls I talked to. I only did the challenge on girls that clearly got the joke. Some girls (usually tourists or obviously recent immigrants) thought I was asking for real directions, so I didn’t do the challenge on them.
Also, since I did this almost up to closing time at the mall and the crowd was thinning, I accidentally asked the same girl twice, and when she said, “you already asked me that”, I said, “no one knows where Sesame Street is, it’s awful!” which she laughed pretty hard at (I didn’t count that as a rep).
Meeting up with a Tinder girl (#5 for me) this evening. She’s not on the same level as that last girl I stupidly lost (*punches self in dick*), but good enough to go hang out with and possibly hook up with. From what I can tell, main pictures of me in my sunglasses always work better than without sunglasses. I used to think that I should show off my eyes, which I think are one of my best facial features, but that’s girly shit. Pretty eyes are huge for me when it comes to a girl’s facial attractiveness, but I’m starting to get that girls don’t really want pretty boys, they want edgy masculine badasses who appear “caught up” in cool shit they do with their exciting lives. That’s how to market yourself online. I’m even starting to wonder if my guitar pic is holding me back for giving off too much of a “sensitive hipster artist” vibe (edgy musician is great, but my guitar pic is not edgy at all, I need a new one). This is just speculation now, but I figure the juxtaposition (which Chris talks about) of edgy badass who does MMA and sensitive dude who has a puppy and plays music is where the real money is at.
It's been another long time since I've checked in here. Last week I finally finished moving to my new place, so no more driving back and forth and using that as an excuse to put off other things. As I posted
(members only), I banged my first Tinder girl... for about five seconds haha, and ended my four and half year dry spell last Tuesday.
Between that, finishing moving, and meeting up with another Tinder girl on Thursday (she stopped responding afterword, w/e), I managed to take a whole week off of AA drills. Not good. I was actually reading up some on exposure therapy in general and that's a bad idea to take time off because if you do it too much you'll start to regress and need to do steps over. I went to a mall to do Day 24 on Thursday but I was in a weird mood and had to meet up with that girl so didn't have much time, so I didn't do it.
Fortunately I didn't seem to regress. I went forward with Day 24 yesterday and though it was a little harder to get started, once I did I was on a roll. Getting all 30 in, given the time and crowd, would have been a stretch before the mall closed, so I decided to split it into two days. I did the first 15 yesterday, and the last 15 today. The mall I keep going to is becoming challenging with these higher rep numbers, because there just aren't many girls there (besides moms with their daughters). I've gotta start going to Venice regularly. That place is regularly packed and I could get multiple days of drills in.
There was one girl who just ignored me (her friend smiled at me), and one who answered the last two times, "I'm not interested", and a couple of girls seemed a little weirded out by the birthday question. The rest played along and gave positive reactions. Haha in one case I actually got "AA cock-blocked". I asked one girl with another girl and in the middle of the second time asking her friend pulled her away and said, "we don't have time for you" (didn't count as a rep since I didn't ask 3 times).
I have finished my first round of bulking and now I'm starting to cut. I'm super excited about that because once I get down to <10% BF I'll really look a lot different, and better. Right now I'm definitely way bulkier than when I started (several people have said things to me), but I'm still a little pudgy and don't look really muscular (~16% BF now) so cutting will really improve my looks. I have a ketogenic diet worked out (almost identical to GLL's fat loss diet) and a training plan with fasted cardio. I won't have sessions with my trainer on weekdays anymore so now I can train at my work's gym and have all evening to do AA drills every weekday.
Okay I’ve been getting behind on updating my log, but not that behind on doing drills. I’m gonna post each day’s results in separate posts to catch up. I’m getting away from my #1 goal, here. Other things have been distracting me and it’s time I refocus and get back into the mindset I was back in July. I’ve been weirdly anxious/lethargic in general lately. I’m probably smoking too much weed, which I actually want to cut back to no more than once every couple of weeks (right now I smoke every night). Whatever, I’m still moving forward.
Briefly, I managed to get three phone numbers last Thursday off of Tinder (new personal record), and went out with one of the girls last Sunday. Might be going out with another one tomorrow. The girl I saw was pretty sexy, and I definitely want to fuck her. We texted the day after the date, though she didn’t respond to me tonight. We’ll see where that goes.
Anyways, let’s catch up on the progress I’ve made on the drills.
I did Day 25 (What’s for Lunch?) on Monday, September 7 in Venice Beach. The first girl I asked was a little rude, she repeatedly said, “I don’t wanna talk to you” haha. I didn’t get all four questions in so it didn’t count. The rest were fairly positive and were just confused haha, though a few actually gave me an answer. A few girls ignored me. No biggie, took about 25 minutes total.
Day 26 (Kindergarten Cop) honestly scared me quite a bit thinking about it haha. I guess that’s because it is the first Level 4 drill. Despite that, I knocked it out on Tuesday, September 8, and it didn’t take me long to get started. The funniest interaction was when I started running the drill on one girl, then she brought me over to her friends, and I ran the drill on all of them (repeating it 3 times), they all laughed in bewilderment and then I saw them basically staring at me as I walked down the escalator. They’ll be telling that story to their friends haha. A few girls didn’t want to play, but most of them were just confused but nice. When I finished, I went and got my ears pierced, to add a little edge to my look.
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I didn't think the "Get Hung" guide would have girls eyeing my bulge. It did.
I didn't think that your exercise and diet advice would have girls checking me out. It did.
I DEFINITELY didn't think that your hair-loss prevention would fix my hairline. Not in a billion years. It mother fucking did. You saved me a crazy amount of time, a ton of money, unnecessary pain, and destroyed my #1 source of anxiety. DESTROYED IT.
Kratom is next!
To anyone reading this, follow through, read this material, APPLY this material, and enjoy life.