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Thursday I had the same problem finding viable groups of girls to do drills on. I found one and barged right in for high fives, but that was the only one. I walked around for an hour again and then decided the crowd just isn't there.
On Thursday night I went out to bars. I walked around squeezing girls' arms and if they turned to look at me, said "hey cutie". One girl in particular reacted quite positively. She was near the dance floor so it was loud, I walked by and squeezed her arm, she looked at me and smiled, I said "hey cutie", she couldn't hear me so I had to repeat it a couple times. She reached for my hand and took it so she could shake my hand. We introduced ourselves, and I small-talked with her for a bit (kind of difficult because it was loud) as well as touching her some more (like on her shoulder). Then I bailed. I think there's this thing in my mind that my "training wheels" are still on because I haven't finished the AA program, and while I genuinely do have anxiety about sticking in there for these interactions, I'm not really letting myself fight it. Obviously I should have kept escalating, tried to kiss and her and then take her home. I'm not really upset I didn't though, because I'm making big progress. I'm at least going out, I'm enjoying it, and I'm touching girls. Maybe I need the validation of "finishing" the AA program, at which point I won't have any excuses to not genuinely go for pussy. And I intend to get that validation. I'm closing in on the finish line here.
Bigger point is that's now the second time a girl reacted to me squeezing her arm by turning to me, smiling and reaching for my hand to shake it. I touched her, so she made a deliberate effort to touch me back. Since I bailed after this, I don't know if they were DTF, anything about her availability is theoretical (and therefore meaningless). But it was a green light to keep escalating, and it's clearly demonstrated to me that some girls aren't down for you to touch them, but some girls are, and the game I'm playing is find those girls. This is "reframing" (to put it in a mental masturbation way) the "rejections" I get from girls who either ignore me or seem weirded out by me squeezing her arm, as screening. I'm trying to Get Laid, and those girls aren't DTF, that's not my problem. I can tell I'm starting to internalize what I need to do this efficiently (still sort of meaningless, it will acquire meaning when I actually execute).
Yesterday I went to the LA GLL meetup and hung out with NSA, Voodoo Child and some other GLL guys. That was good, definitely helpful to chill with guys on the same "mission", it gives me a lot of motivation to be ALL IN and start getting results with this stuff. This displaced doing AA drills and going out, so nothing to report for yesterday. Today I just got back from the mall where I finally completed Day 45. The mall was packed as usual, but finding viable groups was still challenging, because most groups of girls were either moms and teenage girls, or a bunch of teenage girls. In fact several of the groups I approached, I'm pretty sure they were teenagers. Whatever, doesn't matter, I finished the day. After doing the 12 reps I stuck around for another hour or so and tried to do extra. I only got a few extra in because it took so long to encounter a good group of girls. But I'm happy with how the day went. I was nervous at first, and not at the end. In fact I blindly approached the same pair of girls again, and one of them said, "we already gave you high fives, remember?" The second to last one I did solidified that the day was complete. It was 3 girls standing still, I barged right in for high fives, after getting them one of the girls asked me, "where is that smell coming from" (it smelled like cookies or some kind of dessert), I said I don't know but it smells good, then proceeded with, "you girls are cute, I'm Dan" and shook one of their hands. They laughed at this. That was good because it was more than two girls, they were standing still, and they were around other people. A big challenge, and I went right in with no hesitation. The last group I approached on the way out of the mall. I put my hand up for a high five, and the girl completely ignored me while her friend kept talking to her like I didn't even do that. I did one of this, "pfffff" guttural laughs as I walked away. Slightly pissed me off for like 30 seconds, but after so many other girls played along, it was clear those girls were just weird and/or anti-social and didn't feel comfortable interacting with strangers. They wish they had the social freedom I do. A couple other groups refused to high five me. Didn't really bother me though because they politely declined instead of pretending like I didn't walk up to them.
During all of this I was so comfortable I spontaneously did earlier Week 6 drills on girls by themselves, especially if they were really hot and I wanted to talk to them and tell them they're cute. One girl (who was super cute) said she doesn't touch strangers and wouldn't high five me. Didn't really bother me, because I again internalized that she would not be DTF. Her problem, not mine.
I was phenibut assisted for this, so I'm going to attempt to repeat Day 45 tomorrow unassisted. Once I do that I'm clear to focus on Day 46 next week. I'm definitely going out tonight and touching some girls at bars.
I very suddenly came down with an illness last night. Started feeling a little tickle in my throat when I was at the mall doing Day 45, didn't think much of it, but it escalated rapidly later in the evening and by 9pm I was swollen and my voice was starting to fade. I was really determined to go out though. I can't afford to squander a Saturday night and the chance to get more exposure therapy at bars, especially since I sacrificed Friday for the GLL meetup. So I took some Advil, which mostly relieved the pain and I went out anyways. It was an okay night, but I didn't get any positive reactions. I squeezed this girls' arm who was dancing with her friend, they both stopped and looked at me, then looked at each other and laughed. Yeah, made me feel weird, but I'm being honest when I say it didn't bother me that much. I certainly didn't brood over it on the way home or afterword or anything. I was just happy that I did it. That's where I am mentally these days. Never upset at the reactions I get (even if they sometimes sting for a moment), always upset if I bitch out and don't do the drill.
I have a significantly above-average resilience to this kind of stuff. Part of this (a lot of it, most likely) is from doing the AA program, but some of it is my personality too. I've always had an iconoclast thing about me. I don't like blending in. I would rather stand out. Those girls were standing next to each other not talking to anyone else. I don't envy them at all. They probably aren't able to walk around, talk to strangers and meet people, even though they're together. As is the case with most people on the planet. This is why I prefer going out alone. It keeps me focused, and prevents me from settling into the normal routine of standing around in a circle with the people I already know with different surroundings.
Today I went to repeat Day 45. Same problem again with most groups being teenagers. I got there pretty late too, and I only completed 6 drills. I definitely need more work on the group drill. It's not completely easy for me and I still avoid certain situations. But I have already completed the bare minimum so I'm not going to hold off Day 46. After my designated rest day tomorrow I'm going to work on both Day 45 and 46. If I see a group, Day 45. If I see a girl by herself, Day 46. I plan to do this every day for the whole week.
There's a much better place I could go to do Day 45 than this mall. The Venice Beach boardwalk has tons of groups of adult girls walking around. That's where I did the big marathon of almost 100 high fives in a row, and they were almost entirely with girls in groups. I'm glad I started at the mall because giving high fives there feels weirder than at the beach (that's why I went to the beach originally, doing the first high five drill at the mall was too hard for me). But it would be helpful to blitz through like 30+ groups in one sitting at the beach. Unfortunately I won't have an opportunity for the next 3 weekends to do this. This coming weekend I'll be in San Bernadino for Beyond Wonderland, and the next two weekends I'll be in Austin hitting up the malls or wherever there for AA drills. I'll definitely do that when I get back in town though.
Yesterday was designated day off, and I was sick as a dog. Took the day off from work and basically slept the whole time.
Today I started Day 46. I encountered a unique nervousness from doing this drill. I got in there pretty much immediately so it didn't stop me, but it definitely had my heart pounding. The earlier drills, especially the high five drills, have more of a PUA/jester feel to them, where you feel embarrassed from acting foolish around people. But this one, you're not acting foolish. You're acting very genuine, and really putting yourself out on the line. It made me feel very vulnerable.
Reactions were mostly neutral/positive. There is a good number of Asians around here who don't speak English, and when I talk to them they start walking faster and away from me and do say anything or acknowledge me. That's obnoxious, but I guess I sympathize, they're in a foreign country, they don't speak the language and probably don't know many people, and some random ass dude is walking up to them. The rest of the girls were nice and shook my hand. It got a lot easier after the first few reps. I only got through half of the reps today (12 in total). I'll be working on this drill a lot for many days to come, until it's absolutely easy.
I was on phenibut so tomorrow I'll continue unassisted.
Repeated Day 46 (no phenibut) on Wednesday. Only did 16 reps. I could have, and should have, stayed for longer to do more. I was "tired" (that old bullshit excuse), and I'm starting to use my dieting as a "reason" for being tired so much. I mean there's definitely some truth to that. I'm running on ~1000 kcal/day, about a 1000 kcal/day deficit, with about 1600 kcal/week of low intensity cardio workouts. On top of that, I'm briskly walking about the mall for 1+ hour per day. Yeah I'm gonna be lethargic. But that doesn't need to stop me. In general I need to refocus on discipline and daily commitment. I'm letting other stuff like chores (cleaning my room, doing skin care, etc.) fall off too.
This girl who works at one of those kiosks bugging people to buy shit at the mall has noticed I'm there walking around every day and was talking about me to one of her coworkers. She usually looks at me and smiles when I walk by, but that day I saw her talking to a coworker and looking at me, then looking away, then back at me, like 4 times in a row. While this was happening I just stared at her. Yeah it makes me feel kind of weird, but why does she care? Because her life of getting paid to stand in the mall and hand out cards to people is so boring that guy (who she probably thinks is hot, hence her smiling at me every time I walk buy, and no she's not trying to sell me shit, they sell women's beauty products) who's always here walking up to random girls is probably one of the most interesting things she's witnessed in a while. I'm glad to help with making her life more exciting.
Thursday I'll be completely honest: I stayed at work until about 6:30pm or so, working on stuff that genuinely does need to be worked on. But no one asked me to stay that late. I did it as a means to avoid. I also tried going to another mall because I've doing the same one over and over and it's getting monotonous (maybe a little bit of getting bothered by those kiosk workers noticing me, but if that was the only thing I wouldn't have cared, I've been getting burnt out on this mall for a while), but that was a bust. Hardly anyone there. However, I did spot I think 2 girls I could have approached, and I didn't. I might be getting too comfortable at that one mall, so I need to go do these drills in other places. Ended up leaving without doing any reps
So yesterday I drove out to San Bernardino for Beyond Wonderland. That's a two-night EDM festival. Loaded myself up on phenibut, then right before I went to the festival I took some kratom, drank a little alcohol, and took 4 pills of Gorilla Mind. Gorilla Mind + phenibut honestly feels like a weak roll. It's awesome, and isn't neurotoxic (molly is, or at least can be, that's not something to be toyed with too flippantly). I actually want to try a larger dose of phenibut. I currently take 1.5g in the morning, the 1.0g more in the afternoon. I used to take 2g in the morning then 1-1.5g in the afternoon, but that kept knocking me out (I always slept great though). But Gorilla Mind, which has caffeine, counters that. Anyways, I felt pretty awesome.
Got there, ate some food (first thing I had eaten since my tiny lunch), bought some cigarettes and headed to the biggest tent. I just walked around at first, checking out the crowd, then started doing arm squeezing drills. Then this girl walked up next to me and looked at while we were both dancing. I can't remember if I squeezed her arm or not, but I took the eye contact as an opening and started dancing with her. She was into it, we grinded some and then she turned around and started hugging me. I kissed her on the check, we danced a little more then I went for a mouth kiss. She pulled away and said "no" but kept dancing with me. Then she left to go find her friends. She was very hot and barely clothed. Pretty awesome way to start things off.
I continued doing arm squeeze drills, usually saying, "you're cute" to the girl and walking away. Kept doing this for a while, until I saw a girl who seemed to be by herself. My plan was just to do the drill and leave, but after I said, "hey cutie", I just spontaneously decided to "hang in there". Small talked, she asked me if I was "on" anything, I told her just caffeine pills, she said she was rolling, and I started dancing with her. Similar to previous girl, started grinding, she seemed into it. Then she started to go cold, kept her distance from me, and I kept trying to pull her back in until she said, "I don't like to be touched". I smiled and said "okay", then after a couple minutes we both walked away.
Did some more arm squeezing drills. Then I fucked the rest of the night up by getting fixated on a girl who was too hot for me to approach (I mean, that's just words, obviously I could have, but an insanely hot girl in her underwear at a festival while it's raining, in front of both girl and guy friends, that's a challenge) and hanging near where she was dancing for like 15 minutes. I mentioned this in another thread: I didn't stand that close to her, maybe 5 feet away or so. But as I stayed in the same spot, she eventually moved over until she was dancing right in front of me, like as close as she could get without dancing on top of me. Maybe she saw me looking at her, thought I was hot and wanted me to talk to her. Or maybe she was just dancing and didn't even notice me. But that's the problem with not "getting in there" with a girl you see quickly. It makes it even harder to spend time not approaching her and then try to approach her. Now obviously the best thing to do here is not wait, don't let the AA build up, just barge right in the moment you see her. But I also think it's important to know that I could have taken this potential opening even though it was 5 minutes after I noticed her, and tried to hit on her. I mean think about it. Yes it looks bad for a guy to seem like he wants to talk to a girl but doesn't, makes him look like a pussy (because he is a pussy, this is about me finally becoming a fucking man after almost three decades), but if a girl thinks a guy is hot, she's not going to stop thinking he's hot just for that. She could still be receptive. And if she was never interested, she's probably not going to react any worse.
The bigger point is I can't waste 15 minutes and then get myself into a rut with that kind of thing. At least at first I should use the 4 second rule: either get in there immediately, or get out and find another girl.
Like I've said before, I think this would all be significantly easier if I was pushing myself to just talk to girls and introduce myself. But I need to challenge myself with physical dialogue. I need to get to a point where even if a girl is right next to a whole group of her friends, I can walk up, squeeze her arm and tell her she's cute. Yeah, I can give myself a bunch of pep talk shit like "I'll never see these people again, who cares what they think" but frankly I think that stuff can hurt, because it's operating under the idea that the right kind of mental gymnastics will make it easy. It won't. I have anxiety about screening girls in front of their friends (that's the big blocker right now, I can pretty easily do one girl who's either by herself or somewhere where her friends won't see me, and a girl with one or two girl friends is doable, it's the ones in a big group of guys and girls that really give me trouble). That won't go away until I do it enough. Only exposure therapy will let me beat it. I have to accept that it is as hard as it is, nothing will make it easier at first, so I just have to suck it up and fucking do it.
Anyways after I finally left where this girl was, I was in a funk and couldn't push myself to even do any more arm squeeze drills. To be fair to myself, it was also about 1:45am by that point and I was getting pretty damn tired. So I left, in kind of a sour mood about the way the last part of the night went, but balanced with the consolation that the first part went better than I expected it to.
I'll say though, I like this going to festivals solo thing. There are tons of opportunities to hit on girls (scantily clad girls on drugs), and I have no group holding me back from doing so. That's all I'm there to do. These are just giant dance parties, and that's a really good opportunity to work on physical screening by dancing with girls right after you approach them.
Today I'm going to try doing some more of Day 46 at a mall around here in San Bernardino, then it's back to the second day of the festival tonight.
Went to a mall around San Bernardino yesterday and did a few reps of Day 46. Haha one of the women I approached was with her kid, she introduced me to him. I was on phenibut so I only did one "partial" drill then the rest were the full thing. I started feeling an urge to do real approaches (no point out here, since I don't live here). That's obviously good.
There were a couple groups of girls I could have done the Day 45 drill on but I chickened out. I need to dedicate a whole weekend to that drill in a place where I can get a lot of exposure. While I'm in Austin I'm thinking of trying that on the UT campus. Especially since groups are the main thing giving me anxiety at night.
Second night of Beyond Wonderland was last night. Did the same thing of squeezing girls arms, saying "hey cutie" and gauging their response. I tried to hang in there and talk to the girls, which was good, that's good exposure therapy, but I was more interested in dancing with girls than talking to them. This one girl by herself I talked to some but she didn't seem very interested. I put my arm around her a couple times and she didn't really do anything. I didn't feel comfortable being more aggressive with trying to dance with her.
Then as I was scanning the crowd I caught a girl giving me eye contact. I quickly maneuvered myself over to her, squeezed her arm and said "hey cutie". She was immediately receptive and shook my hand. I put my arm around her then we danced for a bit. Pretty touchy-feely, I started stroking her bare shoulder and arm and she put her hand on my thigh, then I held her hand, all while we were grinding. Then her friends left so she left too, gave me hug and said it was nice to meet and dance with me. I should have kissed her goodbye. The point was it wasn't "hard" at all to dance with her. I picked up on her interest and felt totally comfortable and natural touching her. The other girl, even though she never really "rejected" me, wasn't interested. She answered my questions with simple quick answers and didn't ask me any questions, and when I tried to touch her she basically ignored it. That's a tough one because maybe she was shy. I know the point of screening is to be aggressive enough with those girls that they actually do reject you. That's the challenge I need to face now. My goal is to get to a point where I can just start dancing with a girl and have her push me away or something if she's not interested.
There was a very educational experience I had on New Years 2015 in Vegas. This was before I had even heard of GLL. It was on the trip with the girl I lost my virginity to in college that I thought was interested in me again, then she freaked out when she "realized" I thought we were going to hook up on the trip, and I got so humiliated and frustrated (I paid for her plane ticket out there and all the other expenses, it was the one and only time I made the mistake of throwing money at a girl I liked) I vowed to get the girl shit figured out and found this site. Anyways, after that whole fight between us happened, we were in a Vegas nightclub on New Years Eve. This guy came up to her and just immediately started dancing with her. I gave her this "what a creep" look, she smiled at me then started dancing with him, and hung out with him for the rest of the night while I danced with another girl. I was surprised to see something like that "worked". The guy screened her, and she got screened in (another lesson is that she wasn't available, they didn't hook up, so if a girl dances with you you gotta keep screening). I suddenly realized he wasn't the creep, I was. I was sexually frustrated and scared to approach women, and if anything I should be asking this guy for advice.
That girl I danced with last night, that was a good time, and a good lesson about how to detect the girls that like you and will likely get screened in. But I need to keep a good perspective here: that's not something I can rely on. It doesn't happen that often, and it doesn't get me off the hook from screening lots of girls. I kept doing arm squeezing drills for a while after that, a lot of girls ignored me or gave me a dismissive response (which is good, so I don't waste any time with them, although still I should be barging in and dancing with them, not just squeezing their arm). At least one girl smiled at me, and I should have hung in there with her. I think later in the night the logistics got worse, because the festival was so crowded. It was hard to navigate around dancing crowds. When Alesso came on at 12:45 I just watched his set, although there were some girls dancing in front of me, I did the arm squeeze on two of them and they both gave me a dismissive response. Went home after his set.
Gotta keep getting the exposure therapy, particularly with getting rejected. At this stage, the girl I danced with was an important experience because it keeps me positive and believing this is all worth something, but that was lucky. That's not always going to happen and I can't get sour and give up when it doesn't. It's getting rejected while being aggressive that is the most valuable for me right now because the fear of that is the obstacle between me and having way more than just one of those kinds of experiences in a night, and more importantly having a better chance of actually fucking one of these girls.
Today was a good day. And it came out of nowhere. I wasn't in a particularly awesome mood (not a bad mood either, just pretty normal/average) when I started doing AA drills. But the progress I made today was crucial.
As I've done this program I've gotten very familiar with the feeling I get when I know I'm really done with a drill. It becomes boring, and tedious to keep doing, rather than scary. I see myself spontaneously jumping from one girl to another, spotting a girl I didn't notice and just barging in without thinking. Today that happened with the milestone day. If I could travel back in time and tell 2015 Sweatervest this day will come, he wouldn't believe me (I'm not even sure 2017 Sweatervest would confidently believe it).
I immediately got right in there with the very first young attractive girl I saw. She was some Asian who, and this is a pretty typical response from Asians around here, just looked away freaked out then put her hand up to signal for me to go away. I laughed and moved on. There were maybe a couple girls I let get away, like I could have ran after them to do the drill, but every single girl I ran into otherwise I did the "full" drill with all 4 parts. The first girl after that Asian girl, her reaction was strongly positive. I startled her when I got her attention, then after I finished the drill and started walking away, she said, "thank you so much for that compliment, have a nice day", I said, "you too", then she said, "that made my day", I said something like, "awesome, I'm glad", and she said again, "thank you for that, have a good night". Available and wondering why the hell I didn't stick around and ask for her number? Maybe, doesn't really matter. Stroked my ego though.
After one or two more reps, I started to internalize that I am basically done with Day 46. Then there was this maybe 5-minute period where I just went rapid fire, one girl after another, and that really solidified it. I still can't believe it, and this is SO different from my experience when I half-assed Week 6 in 2015, but here I am. I'm bored with walking up to girls and saying, "I know this is random but I thought you were cute so I wanted to say hi, I'm Dan, *handshake*, so what are you up to?"
Best of all this is when I was not on phenibut.
I was planning on spending at least an entire week repeating Day 46 over and over until it was nothing, but now I'm actually thinking that's a waste of time and I should start moving onto Week 7. Tomorrow I'm going to gauge what to do next. Tomorrow is a phenibut day, so Day 46 will probably be absolutely nothing. I will try doing the Day 46 challenge of holding the girls' hand as long as she lets me through the drill. If I can do that 6 times, I'll probably just get started on Week 7.
I still need work on Day 45. Talked about that above, nothing more to say here. I've gotten a good amount of exposure with Day 47 (nighttime arm squeeze drill), but I could use some more practice. The next important decision to make is: when do I start doing real approaching? The plan all along has been to split my time once I pass Day 47 between AA drills and real approaches. I still think that's the best way to go about this. Or maybe since I'm going out 3 times per week, I can split my time by doing only Week 7 and 8 AA drills during the day, and doing only real approaches and genuinely going for pussy at night. I'll do some experimenting.
Also, I'll post a picture in my journal, I'm really lean these days, probably around the leanest I've ever been. Between 10 and 11%. I actually enjoy going out at night to bars and working on this girl shit. I'm not getting laid yet but things are going great. I'm laying the foundation that will soon take me far.
Last Tuesday, I went to do the challenge of Day 46. I approached a handful of girls, a couple of times I just forgot to do the challenge, but one time I did, and the girl let me hold her hand through the whole thing. It was really interesting how it felt, I could feel the sexual energy of doing something like that.
Basically did the same thing on Wednesday, I was really pressed for time because I had to get ready to go to Austin the next day. Did the drill a handful of times, the challenge once I think.
On Friday I did it some more at a mall in Austin. I think the reason I'm not sticking in there to knock out 20+ drills is because it would take a ridiculously long time given the crowds as these malls. So concerning that...
...Today I walked over to the UT Austin campus and knocked out six reps of the Day 46 challenge in probably about 45 minutes. Also, I saw a girl standing next to me on the street, went up and did the drill on her, then since we were both walking in the same direction I kept small talking with her for a bit. I wish I had gotten there earlier, and I'll need to be more dedicated and spend more time, but even on a Saturday the campus was really good for approaching. I'm actually thinking I've stupidly missed out by never trying out the campuses around LA. Gonna hit those up as soon as I get back in town. Could speed things up significantly. Maybe this contributed to why I've never gotten through a "week" of AA drills in an actual week. It always takes me 2-3 weeks.
I want to repeat all 24 reps of Day 46 exclusively on girls with friends. I know I need that exposure therapy. I haven't decided when I'm going to do that exactly, but some time in the next week.
Tomorrow I'm going to start Week 7. If the campus keeps offering up the same frequency of girls I might even be able to plow through all of Week 7 while I'm in Austin.
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