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Day 22, I did not live up to my potential today. Took an hour tour of a mall, 3 approaches out of 15. I sucked. Rusty, have only done one drill, day 21, in the last couple months. I'm disgusted. But back out tomorrow. Want to do drills every day of the month of March.
Today did what I always do if I'm sucking after taking time off, reflected on what worked before. Realized that in the past usually if I was stuck on a drill and doing it day after day, when I got really mad I got drills done quickly. Uncanny. I get mad, shit goes well, girls do what I want, I act, don't care about consequences.
Went to Prudential Mall, got 9 out of 15 done in about an hour and then had to take off. Felt much much better today. After doing one day of drills in the last 2 months, I'm shaking off the rust. Glad I didn't have to go backward and re-do older drills to get back momentum. Back at it tomorrow.
Drove way out to Burlington Mall, second biggest mall in Massachusetts, mid afternoon. Dead. Ugly mommies in their 30s mostly, and not even many of them. In the next couple weeks I get to start going outside again to do drills, with the weather.
I only have one dependable indoor location Monday through Thursday in Boston at the moment, that's Prudential/Copley combined malls. So much tourist traffic and hotel traffic, this place is always at least decent. Like Third Street Promenade last fall in my Santa Monica days- tourist traffic facilitates drills. Fuck it, Prudential then until I know the security guards by their first names.
Day 22, got it done today, Prudential/Copley mall. Took a couple hours. Remembering the whole spiel is a little tough, but more so prattling on after the conversation seems done and over with is a challenge for me.
Funny, the drill wording sort of tells the girl a) that you're not trying to get with her, and/or b) that you're a dork. So even if the girl is initially interested she quickly gets less so. THEN you have to babble on a bit after that lessening of interest moment. This is a genius drill. Back at it Sunday, going to keep going with this one until it's good.
Got day 22 done today, not totally happy, re-doing it tomorrow. Was in a piss-ass mood today, made better by a beautiful hit of White hippo, one of my favorites, but still.
It was actually a victory, completing the drills in that state.
I hate this drill! And I love this drill. Hate it. Love it. These lines, I hate them, you sort of turn the girl off and then you go ahead and resume the conversation. Good training on staying in there and doing what you want, the reactions are not important.
Did day 22 again today, took too long. Another tomorrow, until it's right.
This drill hits a weakness. I've always been too aware of girls checking me out. I guess I still want to be liked. I'm moving past that. I walk up to girls, often they've already been looking at me, so in that moment I don't want to lose that, and then I have to drop this retarded babble, and it's tough!
Fuck it, glad I'm going through this. Again tomorrow.
Did day 22, but took too long. I'm growing by doing this drill everyday so I'm not worried. This is a great drill for me. It stomps on my issues of not liking to babble, and of not wanting to be disliked. Back at it tomorrow.
Day 23, crashed, burned. Couldn't get it going, no state. Said fuck it after an hour walking the street. This drill is tougher than 22, and 22 hit a nerve for me. Seriously I was much more comfortable squeezing a bunch of girls' arms at a bar day 21 than these last two. And that's good. Means I'm going to benefit when I get through this. This one works on my need for dignity. If I feel I'm not going to have dignity I don't want to do it. But in the end, it all equals out to APPROACH ANXIETY.
Back at it tomorrow. If I don't have state I'm getting in state. High fives to start the drill tomorrow, and if that isn't working, I'll get the time from five girls. But I'm not going to let state slow me me again.
Day 23, got all 30 done in 43 minutes, did 6 challenges. On the street, 30 degree weather, near the BU campus. The streets weren't that crowded so had to walk a lot.
How to get to Sesame Street. A third of the girls said they didn't know the area. A third of the girls knew I was fucking with them. And a third said, sorry, I don't know where that is. It was funny. A few cuties hung around until I left. Looking forward to Week 7.
I hadn't taken phenibut in two months, so receptors were pure. I have more anxiety than depression, so it's really phenibut that's the best for me, kratom is great, but phenibut...
Re-did a set of the Day 23 drills today, did 3 challenges also, Sesame Street, even though I did 30 yesterday quickly and with ease.
I got this one fully. Hit up a girl today that I hit up yesterday, and yesterday she was incredibly sweet and aggressive in wanting to help me find this Sesame Street, today not so much!
On to day 24.
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