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Approach Anxiety
Approach Anxiety Program
Time to finally kill the fat guy mentality.
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TOPIC: Time to finally kill the fat guy mentality.

Time to finally kill the fat guy mentality. 20 Dec 2012 21:31 #12595

Started AA drills today, So far I have no issues with the drills up to the compliment point.  I can maintain eye contact yet giving compliments is hard for me to do, I have to unlearn the "game" community telling me that compliments are supplication, as well as allowing myself to get aggressive in screening for dtf girls.  Here goes my progress in stopping this.

So far today, I've seen chicks giggle, look down after eye contact almost seemingly shy and scared of me.  I went to drop off a check in my bank, the teller started giggling and breaking down flirting hard with me.

Also going to try a nightclub, sober this friday.

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Re: Time to finally kill the fat guy mentality. 21 Dec 2012 00:46 #12619

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Started AA drills today, So far I have no issues with the drills up to the compliment point.  I can maintain eye contact yet giving compliments is hard for me to do, I have to unlearn the "game" community telling me that compliments are supplication, as well as allowing myself to get aggressive in screening for dtf girls.  Here goes my progress in stopping this.

So far today, I've seen chicks giggle, look down after eye contact almost seemingly shy and scared of me.  I went to drop off a check in my bank, the teller started giggling and breaking down flirting hard with me.

Also going to try a nightclub, sober this friday.


nice Johnny-

think of it this way, this might help-
-- by giving a compliment, other than JUST DOING THE DRILL (and getting out), you ONLY want to (genuinely) brighten the girl's day.

years ago I remember gave a fat chick with bad skin a compliment "I like your style" in order to just starting talking (i figured that see probably never had a guy who was in shape give her a compliment).

she yelled at me that I was a "lowlife player," but for some I literally didn't regret giving her a compliment WHATSOEVER. I obviously wasn't trying to fuck her, I wasn't invested in it whatsoever. So I didn't care about the outcome 1 bit, I was trying to make her smile because she was probably going to get ignored all night and stare at the "cool" people having fun. Although she didn't smile, I didn't care 1 bit.

I guess the word is outcome dependency.-- shoot for smiles/just doing the drill with the compliment stages. Nothing more.

with experience this of indifferent mindset will transition into your approaches.. then later you'll actually be walking up to girl to see if they are cool enough to sleep with rather than trying to "get them"

notice also (and you can record stats if you want)-

Compliment =
90% Thank you
5% Wait, what do you really want?
4% I like you
~<1% Emotionally unhealthy girl goes weird on you
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Re: Time to finally kill the fat guy mentality. 22 Dec 2012 20:43 #12802

And you're right so far, I've been trying to give compliments to every girl I see from a position of strength instead of weakness.  It's getting easier and easier every time.  I'm learning that if she likes you, it doesn't matter if you compliment her.

So much of a difference, I'm having so much of an easier time time with this than when I last tried it before the weight loss.
I mean I saw a 18 year old girl light up in smile when I told her and feel the warmth. "You have beautiful eyes". 

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