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Milestone: I didn't feel like doing drills yesterday, I think I'm getting tired of it. I only did 8 approaches today but felt real confident and genuine. I don't even care how many reps I do anymore, it doesn't really matter, I do drills as long as I feel like it. The 1st cutie in sight I went in without hesitation, the 2nd a sub par and half-assed approach, the 3rd another cutie with her friend and I felt real confident with that one. The 4th rep was awkward: I was speaking real fast, laughing, didn't take myself too seriously, even told her I was nervous; she was cool. I missed one who was with her mom. The 5th cool and on her phone, 6th a cougar and cool, the last two were together and nice. Being confident is great. Being confident and genuine is liberating. I can't bring myself to approach average chicks let alone sub par/ugly chicks because of my huge ego. Might do this drill again tomorrow.
Reflect: I reflect on drills/my progress everyday but this day is worth noting since 'Milestone' is the drill that I stopped at the first time I did the program. The first time around I rushed through it since I was so eager to get rid of AA and that clearly isn't the way to do it. Repeating days this time around proved to make a significant difference. Bottom line, I didn't have the discipline the first time around: I made approaches when I shouldn't have, I didn't push myself to do more when I should have, and I didn't commit to online dating. In spite of all of that, I reached the beginning stages of Phase 2. I was able to make approaches, got phone numbers, had dates, got laid once but from online though. I could still write all about it in detail even though it was a while ago, but it all comes down to not pulling the trigger on some dates, sticking around and conversing which you don't do for basic guy game, and not touching the girl when I should have; all relating to killer instinct, or lack there of. I did show some flashes of it, but flashes are not enough. Ultimately, I quit temporarily because my anxiety built up at night and I got discouraged, which shouldn't be surprising since I only went out three or four times at night and did less than 50 days of drills total. I'm glad I went back to the beginning because this needs to be done right.
Sundown: I went to four restaurants/bars for happy hour. The 1st spot had a group of three but I didn't approach, definitely should have. The 2nd had a pair and I got in there. The last two places had no chicks in there.
Day 109: My 109th day of this program. Did real approaches today. Felt kinda weird and also a lot of fun. Did light screening via hand holding. Approached 8, missed 3, one of the misses was with her father. The flight-or-flight stimuli is almost nonexistent but sooner or later I'm gonna have to say fuck it and give myself permission to go all in.
Day 113: Felt like shit today so no drills. Went out on an errand. Saw one and approached. Did basic guy game with light screening via hand holding. She didn't pull her hand back. We talked for a minute or two. Asked for the number, she declined because she was married with kids; my guess she's in her early to mid 30's. Bottom line: I felt much more comfortable. Going to persist next time.
Sundown: Went to a new venue to switch things up/challenge myself. The place I went to was a mellow bar/restaurant in a hotel; it essentially was happy hour. Reminded me that night, day, loud, quiet, Tuesday night or Friday night, it's all the same unless you're in your head.
Sundown: Had a productive night. I didn't feel as good or as socially free as Thursday night but I don't have to for results. In my pre GLL days I would've been discouraged if nothing went my way but now I understand how this game works. I think this marks the last night for night drills. Next night out is for real. Need to figure out logistics. Also, its okay to chill out at the bar, I don't need to do rapid fire all the time; other opportunities will arise; remember the blonde in black dress. Some of the bars/restaurants I went to are like mini clubs and it got me thinking about what we call "Party Game"
Day 48*117: Did the Day 48 drill, my 117th day in this program when not including days off. Pretty much aced it today in regards to just getting in there. It took me a short while to get comfortable with the interactions, at first I was talking too fast or was too cavalier, but these are lines I would probably never use anyways. I'm also developing the habit of touching the girl before I open my mouth or at least within the first 5 seconds.
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