TOPIC: (One of the) Oldest Loser(s) Here (Intro/AA Log/Pics)

Very inspirational post!!!
You have great style and look, for any age. Glad to see another older looser on here.
I'm 47, haven't done AA program, but I know I should. I think it would be more difficult for us older guys, but I guess that's just an excuse.

Please keep the updates coming.

Flary wrote: Day 26
Who's your daddy.

Been dreading this one. We'll see how it goes.

Just got back...ok, this one's hard

They don't let me finish asking 3 times.

Approached several more girls who said, "no I don't want to" after just saying "we're going to play a game"

Approached about 7 girls total, most walked away after opening line-- actually only got to attempt the drill with 2

The "best" attempt went like this (in supermarket aisle):

Me: hey, so we're going to play a game
her: uh, ok

Me: it's called, who's your daddy and what does he do
Ready?
-Who's your daddy and what does he do (1st time asking)

her: uh, no I'm not doing this
Me: We're gonna play a game,

her: (backing up) no we're not

Me: its called who's your daddy and what does he do
Ready? -who's your daddy and what does he do.. (2nd time asking)

her: (still backing away and looking totally freaked out) no, I'm not doing this

Me: we're gonna play a game, its called who's your...

Her: (seeing someone she knows looking relieved she's been rescued) Hey chelsea!!!

Me: (walking away) take it easy

Oh yea, the other one of the 2 attempts resulted in another pissed off redneck boyfriend showing up and getting aggressive/confrontational.

I can't say I enjoy freaking out girls or that I'm having fun with this.
I'm finding this one quite unpleasant in fact.

Going to have to meditate on it, go back and try it again.

Any advice how to get through this one?

(PS I decided, even though I technically didn't make it all the way through, I'm still going to count the 2 above approaches. I still got massive exposure therapy )

It is tough dude, there’s no two ways about it. I got through it by repping out 3 girls in one day and 7 the next.
Eventually I repeated the drill and got the ten in one go.

For three of the girls I followed them as they walked away and repeated the stack. I saw no reason why I was going to let a rep go because I got a bad reaction!

The frame I used in my head is it’s actually a very simple question to answer if you think about it. Especially after two repeats of the line. If they can’t a simple question then they have a shit attitude or they’re stupid.

Chris had a good mental frame for the birthday drill that you can apply here too. Imagine you’re the host of a tv show with a cheque for $50k in your pocket. If she can answer the simple question of what does her father do for work she gets the cash and if not then she won’t.

Imagine if this was a real scenario, you would persist in the hopes that she wins and become frustrated if she didn’t get it or tried to walk away.

Whenever a girl got it an answered first or second time I rewarded her by saying “very good answer, you’re sharp!” or a similar compliment.

You had the worst case scenario with the redneck bf and were alright so a few odd looks and girls walking away won’t really hurt.

Go kick the drill’s ass dude!

+1. Great post, thanks for sharing!

Who's your Daddy- 2nd Attempt

Hey, SickIndividual, thanks for your great advice. I actually missed it before going out to try this one again.

So far, the drills that come off the most anti-social are the most difficult for me. That would be in ascending order, What's for Lunch (because you ask 4 times), ABC's, and this one, Who's your Daddy. I'm insecure about risking social ostracism. I never considered skipping this drill, but I procrastinated like hell.

To psyche myself up, I told myself this will be payback for horrible female behavior online that we have to endure. Lmao. Fuck online. Up close and personal is where we men level the playing field.

First rep of the day- a pretty girl in walmart with a BF in the background. Normally I would be too intimidated to do this drill with a BF close by. But after sizing him up- big, but in a roley-poley chubby kind of way, I could tell he wasn't a threat. So, my heart pounding like crazy, I went for it. As I asked the girl in my Schwarzenegger voice, the dude drifted over and listened, positioning himself close behind her. He did NOT look happy, LMAO. I felt bad for him, so dude, if you're reading this, I'm sorry. But guess what- I did you a favor. You look like a chubby shlub and eventually some dude's gonna take your girl for real. You got to see first-hand what it takes to get a new girl when she leaves.

I got the hell out of walmart after only that one approach, since, after the angry BF incident from the last outing, I planned to hit more venues than usual for this drill

I found it best to approach a seated girl. Standing girls tend to weasel away too easily. Having to abort so many attempts cause she weaseled away gets old, so I got strategic which girls to approach.

I'm becoming more aware of the situations where I still can't bring myself to approach the girl. For example, a seated girl in the coffee-shop part of Barnes & Noble, tucked in the corner where I had to walk all the way over, with a dude sitting close by, where he and likely everyone in the vicinity would have overheard. I contemplated and contemplated- couldn't make myself do it. Too scary. Fuck.

I did approach a girl on the main floor. She got weirded out and tried to weasel away, but I got in all the lines.

Checked the bookstore off the list, and headed for the mall. I noticed I'm finding it very difficult to project my voice for this drill, especially in a quiet place like the bookstore. Almost that kind of feeling of something holding you back, like in a bad dream where you try to yell, and the words won't come out. I need to get over this shyness with my voice. I'm optimistic an uncomfortable drill like this will give me the freedom to project my voice when I actually start hitting on them.

Approached a seated girl in the food court of the mall. Went quite well- I'd give an A for my performance. She told me who her dad is with a smile on her face. Was able to speak louder, since the mall is noisy, and no one in earshot.

Had a couple of aborted crash and burns in Target and walmart, with the girls basically freaking out. One girl I consciously tried to get even LOUDER when she freaked, which caused her to visibly freak even more. Lmao. But at this point my primary emotion was pissed off at not getting the notch, not social embarrassment.

Several girls told me who their dad was. One girl told me he died, I felt bad, but I finished the rep anyway. One girl, on the first time asking, answered, "his name's Mike Blankenship, he sells paint!" Finally a girl who didn't think I was a rapist. Sweet! Those moments where it's easy help you get through it.

Also, keeping up the momentum really helps you through this one.

For those finding it hard to muster up the nerve on this drill, I humbly recommend planning for at least two outings- the first where you give yourself permission to just crash and burn, don't worry about reps or finishing. Then regroup, rehearse the delivery at home, and go out another day to finish the reps.

I might come back to this one in the future, to work on really holding the frame in a commanding way when they act weird. Overall I'd give my performance a C+, only because of not projecting my voice volume with the weasels, pulling down the average for when I performed well. But glad to have this one behind me.

I can't wait for the drills where you really hit on them.

Day 27: Where's the Beach

After the last drill, this one's rather easy.

Though, tapping on the shoulder takes a little getting used to.

Approaching two girls at Target, when I went to tap one girl from behind, the other girl noticed and in a panic tried to pull her away. I felt like such a rapist. Lmao. They were smiling and seemed cool when I said I had a question... then I walked away.

A pretty sort of edgy girl with her kid seemed to get angry that something out of the ordinary was happening, like some dude mock-comically flexing his muscles for 5 seconds was enough to turn her world upside down. Give me a break. The look in her face said, "I need to know what this is all about!!!" and had emotional instability written all over her.

I approached a girl with her boyfriend in the produce section of supermarket. I tried to make sure the guy was close by to include him. The girl was laughing and turning all red as I flexed for 10 seconds. The dude didn't even seem concerned, picking out broccoli or something as I was flexing away. He casually said, "nowhere around here", when I yelled over to him, where's the beach, while still flexing away for the girl.

A very attractive woman in Target asked "which beach are you looking for, there are so many". Contrast that with the angry girl above, and you can tell right away which girls have decent personalities.

A Hispanic woman with her mom In the checkout line at walmart had this look of infinite confusion in her eyes as I was flexing for her. Pretty funny.

I got two challenges in (keep flexing for 30 seconds, no matter what girl does). I approached the attractive girl in a group of three black girls. She kept saying "I don't get it" then turned away, but I kept flexing per the instructions. She turned around a couple more times only to see me still flexing away. They were laughing and saying, "do you get it? I don't get it".

No girl just walked away like with the last drill, they just stayed and watched me flex even if they seemed uncomfortable and were turning red. It's almost like deep down they enjoyed it? Haha, I have no idea. I dressed well for this drill.

With this drill it's easy to think, "it's not me, I don't do this kind of thing" and not want to do it. But once you get into it and start to own it, you do become the guy "who does this kind of thing".

I'm thinking of going downtown and repeating this one on hot "out of my league" business-type women during their lunch.

Wow man. Congratulations on the progress that you have achieved so far. Very bold and inspirational. I would like to be able to do the same as you have been doing but have been being held back by my own beliefs that I'm too old(42) although like yourself I don't look nearly that old. I'm just really motivated to have an example of someone that has the balls and ambition to pursue like you've been doing.
I don't have any prob when approaching women at the bars or wherever but don't get the chance to get out as much as I'd like to. Do u live in a big city where if it was an epic fail u would never have to see these peeps ever again or is it just a case of personal freedom/big balls? Kudos on the look and attitude tho dude

Hey you're awesome! I'm 42. So many people think life is over at 30 and doing anything is too late. Such a joke. I can't wait to see what happens with you.

Thanks for the encouragement, tgbarr, and PoolPlayer!

@tgbarr15 I wouldn't say I have big balls, I've just been going out and doing the drills. I would say getting the exposure therapy is where you get balls, not the other way around As a result, many approaches have become boringly easy. Although some approaches my head still gets that pounding, panicky feeling- like the girl in bookstore from above, which I pussied out of. I have a hard time keeping my voice volume up with eavesdroppers around (though that's improving, I think). Approaching a girl with a guy is scary, and tend to avoid them. I have fears of getting jumped after doing these "just fucking with them" drills, lmao. But being e *x p o* s e* d to these fears over and over is going to make normal approaches so easy.

I'm in a medium-size Midwest American city of about 1 million. Small enough where you will run into people you know fairly regularly. For that reason I tend to avoid doing the drills at the supermarkets, etc., I regularly frequent, (although I have with the harmless ones, like asking the time, or the birthday drill, etc). But for most of the "funny guy" ones, I've gone up to 5, 10, even 20 miles away. (Gas is cheap for the time being- better time than ever to start the program). I do like the freedom of doing them in a place I'm anonymous. For example, today I went to the downtown area and got about 13 reps of "Where's the Beach"- about 3-7 short of my goal. Just not enough girls out today. Stopped by the grocery on my way home around 5:00 and there were tons of girls I could have finished the remaining reps on. But I was "off" for the day from doing drills but also didn't want to do it in a place people would recognize me. Getting creative with locations is a good idea. I did the Sesame Street drill at a large chuch picnic, and the "Bathroom" drill at racetrack party over the summer.

As for being 42 and looking younger-- that's as good as any age for a man, in my opinion. It's my belief that after age 25 or 26 for the woman, the guy's age is largely irrelevant. Any girl 25 or older who tells you when she learns your age, "you're too old, bla bla," it's just bullshit societal conditioning. Fuck society telling us which women we're "allowed" to hit on. If she's legal, I'm going for it. Anyway In my mind, I've internally convinced myself I'm 35. I've told myself that for so long I believe it now, hopefully manifesting itself in my appearance, vibe, etc.

---

Went downtown today, got in about 13 reps of "where's the beach". It was freezing outside so a lot of the girls took the question as humorous irony. The cutest girl of the day walking out of the courthouse gave the best reaction-- she said, "oh, you're flexing?" and actually started flexing along with me. A girl in a group of 3 girls recoiled in horror when I went to tap her on the shoulder. It then got even more awkward since we were walking on the sidewalk in the same direction, them behind me, and they may have even been talking about me. I basically didn't care less what they thought of me. Didn't really get to hit on any really hot girls, but I got in some solid reps with mediocre looking girls in the same areas that the hot ones usually are. Again, I saw a hot girl with guy sitting at a table in a restaurant. I couldn't make myself do it. Here's a good lesson I learned: Immediately after finishing flexing for a girl on the street, the hottest girl of the day appeared. I hesitated and it was too late. The thought going through my head was, "I just finished that rep, its too soon to do another, it'll be weird". Be ready because there may be only one chance when that hot girl shows up when you least expect it.

Cool man. Thanks for the response. I guess one of the main things that I'm having trouble with is even where to find the so called approach anxiety program. Sounds like u have pretty decent logistics as far as having nearly a million people in your metro area, mine has about 65k and I can't move because my kids are here. I do approach often but feel the approach anxiety program would really help if anybody here is willing to point me in the right direction on where to find it? As a side note, how about no fap,have u been doing that as well? I'm about a week in of the no fap thing and I do agree with many other commenters on the forum about the fact that it makes u try harder realizing ur not going to get a release until u man up and go after what u really want. It's kind of like oh shit, I owe 6k in taxes gotta figure out something here or die trying. Haha. Thoughts?

Day 28 Nerd Glasses

Tap on shoulder- I have a question
-Do you know where to get nerd glasses?
-How cool are nerd glasses?
-Pretty fuckin' cool, huh
-Would you fuck me if I was wearing nerd glasses


Haven't been updating this like I should, but here's the work I've done to date.

So, I wasn't in a good mood starting out.

Approached a mom with her daughter. Daughter looked at me like I was Jeffrey Dahmer. Doing these approaches is getting to be a grind, and at the bad reaction said to myself "oh, not this sh*t again today".

Saying "Hey, had a question" then just walking away is not so easy.

I think I have some really good looks down. I picked up a denim jacket recently and been rocking the "high/low" style. A boyfriendish look perhaps, but such a standout around these parts from how 98% of other guys dress it seems to get very positive reactions from girls.



(Can't tell from the photo, but shoes are really dope Johnton Murphy's)



I realize we shouldn't be concerned with reactions at this point, but I did get some very positive reactions which I can't help but fing motivating.

I got the doggy dinner bowl look from skinny redneck girl in the supermarket, and all I said was, "hey, had a question". As I walked away I could tell she didn't want me to leave.

Figuring out how to touch the girl is the most valuable aspect of this drill.

A couple girls I approached from a bad angle shunned me like I was a rapist. That seems to be the #1 cause of a bad reaction- not having an assertive physical presence upon approach.

One girl I did the sequence out of order, touched her after saying I had a question. As long as I get the touch in, I feel the drill is accomplished. She had big hips and ass, someone in the past I would have felt intimidated to approach. But not after talking to her and hearing her dumb redneck twang. She thanked me for saying the glasses she was wearing were not nerd glasses.

On the rep that gets sexual, I made sure to ask the girl how old she was. The girl with the sweetest personality turned out to be seventeen. I wish I could have finished the drill on her.

One of the most pleasant reactions (not the sexual drill, but just asking where you get nerd glasses) was from a skater chick, (with her fat friend who looked like a dude from behind) who looked about 18. I'm looking forward to hitting on girls like this. I turn 50 next week. Mwah hah hah.

A married woman in her 30's in JC Penney, when I asked if she'd "have sex with me if I had nerd glasses" replied, "it wouldn't be because of that". At the time I didn't realize it, but later on I was like, wait a second, that was a backhanded way of saying she would have sex with me! She kept saying I'm handsome and very stylish. I gave her a heartfelt thank you and left.

Another girl with a baby stroller who was about 20, (she was with her 18 yr old friend who was the one I initially touched and asked about nerd glasses), when I asked if she'd have sex with me looked shocked and said, "I can't believe... I'm in a relationship!!" Oh, but she didn't say she wouldn't!

I decided to modify the wording of the challenge from "would you fuck me.." to "would you have sex with me.." It just sits better with my personality.

Saying that line with people eavesdropping is still the hardest. Right when I was about to deliver that line to a woman in the aisle at Target, an employee came right next to us to stock the shelves. I kept stalling on the nerd glasses part but eventually asked if she'd fuck me. She didn't seem to like it

Day 29: Super High-Fives

Easy drill. Went to an outdoor festival during St. Patrick's weekend to do this one. Was especially easy because everyone's in a fun mood and up for anything. Doing only 10 felt like underachieving so wound up doing 63. Would have done more, but had to go in to work. I felt like I was close to getting some make-outs and didn't want to leave.

It's funny, I'm noticing that a lot of girls who look GOOD from far away, aren't all that great-looking when you get close up. Now if a hot girl gets away from me I'm not all that worried since there's a good chance she isn't all that hot close up.

I was wearing just a green t-shirt, Levi's 501's, chuck taylors, and a newsboy hat. I got lots of compliments on my shirt. My bodyfat % is way too high, but since working on the 100 pushup challenge, and 50 pullup challenge, my arms and upper body look good in a t-shirt.

The best reaction was from a sexy, edgy girl with neon color hair, tats and piercings. She seemed like I made her day and wanted me to stay. I'm really liking that the girls I'm most attracted to are the ones I get good reactions from.

Repeated the drill at the mall last Saturday, just to make sure I can do it in a 'normal' setting. The trick is make sure she's not holding anything. Didn't miss any- except for a very cute shy girl with her mom in the food court. The mom said, "go ahead, high-five him". And I wound up high-fiving the mom.

Here's a photo how I was dressed, which probably makes it hard to be turned down.



Another high/low style. (The shitty photo doesn't do the shoes justice. They're Cole Haans).

For some reason, I get fearful at the idea of seeing a girl within a store then going inside to approach. Probably because I have no idea who she's with, or who will be around.

Walking through the mall, I spotted a cute black girl inside Charlotte Russe, near the checkout line. I kept on walking saying to myself, "ah fuck it, I can't approach her, too hard". Then I said, "wait a second, go inside and approach her". I entered the store, my heart pounding, and as I got close said, "hey, super!" , she turned to look at me and I could see fear in her eyes. "Super high-five" I said smiling, raising both my hands. She smiled, double-high fived me then she thanked me very genuinely as I was walking away. I think I could have stayed and talked to her

And it seems to never fail, one of the most pleasant reactions was from another girl who I found the most attractive.

Day 30 Hit and Run
Squeeze 10 girls on arm, say "nice" continue walking
Squeeze 10 girls on arm, say "cute" continue walking

Was putting off this drill, since I'm not motivated to go out to the clubs. Finally wound up doing the drill at a club near where I live. I knew it would be easy since it was crowded and noisy that night. In my opinion, the less crowded, the less noisy, the less distractions, the harder the drill. Finished the drill in about 10 minutes. I made sure to hit the outside area where it's a more chill atmosphere, and harder to do the drill. I just squeezed on the arm, said "cute" and kept walking. I did creep out one girl near the dance floor. To leave the dance floor area I had to walk by her again because there was no room to avoid her, but she kept eyeing me the whole time like I was going to rape her. What a weirdo.