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I'm in college, part of a fraternity, so there's access to girls but I suck at basic socializing with people. I just have the same old where you from, whats your major conversation with girls. How do I become better at socializing with EVERYONE? Yes getting girls is the end goal, but I'm tired of being the quiet guy with nothing to say in social groups.
Dag wrote: You can ask where she is from, what does she like, what she's into, and say things about yourself.
Do that exercise 50 times and you will improve.
Dag, if I ask those questions won't I just be treated as a boring guy like everyone else?
What about like after when you DM her on IG, or text her? Do you just immediately jump into asking her out or keep the small talk up a little more, then ask her out? I guess my question is, how do you know when there's been sufficient small talk to warrant asking her out? Also I'll be playing in a small social circle (greek life where everyone knows everyone) so I don't want to come off as the creep or loser that spams asking out every girl in a sorority.
People will remember you more on your energy and demeanor rather then what you say. Especially in college, when alcohol and drugs run amok (playing alcohol games is a good way to mingle).
What I found that I like to do, is to turn situations into derisions or exaggerations and play up on antics.
Say bad jokes, bad puns, whatever.
Tease people a little bit "oh you come from there? Isn't that place a dump? Haha"
Or just be nice for a change "I like your shirt/hair, how the fuck did you manage to get it?"
It is borderline "Mister Funny Guy" but with a bit of an edge and screening and pussy inspection, it juxtaposes quite well.
If you want to dodge the usual, "nervous guy game" (which works for all intents and purpose, if you pass the look threshold), say whatever the fuck passes in your head at that particular moment.
Do your thing, speak about that movie you saw, mention the crazy nights you've had in some places, whatever.
Sometimes you'll find common ground, and it'll stick, sometimes it won't, it is a numbers game.
And above all verbose shit, be physical, asking about basic shit, while holding a girl by her hand can change her perception of you like you wouldn't believe.
There's no blueprint for small talk, it is something you do on the fly and the more you do it, the easier it becomes. Don't try to be smooth, don't expect it to be smooth, this is out of your control, for it takes 2 to tango.
Hell, sometimes even though the girl is into you, it shall be awkward as fuck. EMBRACE IT!
Next up, I want to mention that to be direct is to be king. There's no greater move then skipping the BS and going for the kill.
Some guys here have spent less then 10min from meet to lay.
I did too and I don't have a lot of lays under my belt compared to them.
Anyone can do it.
If you look good enough and play the numbers, it will work.
Basic guy game works.
Lastly, I know it is stupid to say "don't care", but it is better to be remembered as a creep (who often gets laid) than a college loser without balls.
You should post clearer questions, first you imply you want to learn how to talk to girls, then you say you want to learn how to talk to everyone, then you mention instagram (?)
Anyway, I agree with Plisken except for the teasing part. You know, you shouldn't try to tease people unless you're already friends with them. Honestly, if some random dude called my hometown "a dump", I wouldn't be offended (tho it is borderline offensive) but I would think he is socially inept and that's not what you want. With girls it's also not necessary, trust me, the only girls you'll attract with that kind of banter is girls with self steem issues.
TBH, IDK how to make small talk, all I do is ask general questions that I use to find something in common and then niche the conversation down into topics we both can relate to. BUT, nobody is going to be your friend (again, make your questions clear cause IDK what you want so I'm just going to assume that you care more about friendships than romantic relationships with girls) after one small talk.
Join clubs and get acquainted with people, walk with them to their dorm, join them at lunch, party with them. People will gravitate towards you if they think you're cool and/or not a pussy.
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