TOPIC: Getting physical during first dates?

BransonNYC wrote: But what do you say when its time to leave the bar? And how do you avoid getting into a convo about going back to your place at that point?

Tyson Wolf wrote: I know you're looking for advice on HOW to be touching her, but if you're a little bit less experienced and uncomfortable reading body language, I'd advise you not to do so at all.

Don't force yourself to touch some chick over a coffee date, when you're both sober and stimulated by caffeine.

Unless you're experienced and good at reading and smoothly responding to body language, touching a chick on a first time coffee date is almost certainly not going to go well for you.

Just get to know her, keep it light, and let her talk a lot about herself. A follow up date under different conditions will allow you to engage physically a little bit more naturally (grabbing drinks, watching a movie at your place, etc.)

EDIT - and to clarify, I write this because of all the guys I read about on here creeping girls out, etc. Body language is a skill you learn through repeated social interactions, and I don't know where your personal experience level falls in this regard. There are plenty of times where I don't touch a girl AT ALL until I've got her in my bedroom. It is plenty possible to build sexual tension without necessarily groping her at a cafe.

If you say you're experienced with body language, I'll take your word for it and you should know whether or not you can do so a little bit during the date without coming across as a weirdo.

With that said, as far as being friendzoned goes, your likelihood of being friendzoned is significantly decreased by the fact that you met on Tinder. She's clearly not looking for a friend, and if she's agreed to a date with you she should be, at the very least, interested in you. All you've got to do is keep her interested in you as a potential fuck buddy or romantic partner, by being interesting and flirty. Don't bore her.

Give her her first, non-sexual, date, and set a followup plan for a second date where you can grab some drinks, show her a good time and escalate physically in a less forced scenerio.

Resurrection wrote:

Tyson Wolf wrote: I know you're looking for advice on HOW to be touching her, but if you're a little bit less experienced and uncomfortable reading body language, I'd advise you not to do so at all.

Don't force yourself to touch some chick over a coffee date, when you're both sober and stimulated by caffeine.

Unless you're experienced and good at reading and smoothly responding to body language, touching a chick on a first time coffee date is almost certainly not going to go well for you.

Just get to know her, keep it light, and let her talk a lot about herself. A follow up date under different conditions will allow you to engage physically a little bit more naturally (grabbing drinks, watching a movie at your place, etc.)

EDIT - and to clarify, I write this because of all the guys I read about on here creeping girls out, etc. Body language is a skill you learn through repeated social interactions, and I don't know where your personal experience level falls in this regard. There are plenty of times where I don't touch a girl AT ALL until I've got her in my bedroom. It is plenty possible to build sexual tension without necessarily groping her at a cafe.

If you are on a forum asking how to act on a coffee date, then you really aren't experienced with reading body language.

If you say you're experienced with body language, I'll take your word for it and you should know whether or not you can do so a little bit during the date without coming across as a weirdo.

With that said, as far as being friendzoned goes, your likelihood of being friendzoned is significantly decreased by the fact that you met on Tinder. She's clearly not looking for a friend, and if she's agreed to a date with you she should be, at the very least, interested in you. All you've got to do is keep her interested in you as a potential fuck buddy or romantic partner, by being interesting and flirty. Don't bore her.

Give her her first, non-sexual, date, and set a followup plan for a second date where you can grab some drinks, show her a good time and escalate physically in a less forced scenerio.

THIS +100. Take it from someone who went on over 20 failed online first dates. All of them have one thing in common: I in some way touched the girl, whether it was a tap on the shoulder/arm/knee, holding her hand, resting my hand on her thigh, etc. However, with one girl I dated some time ago I did not touch her on the first date, and on the second did touch and it went really smoothly. Even then I knew this girl for 6 months.

We are all afraid of being put in the friend zone, but if you asked her out on a date online she knows it isn't to make friends. Even if she doesn't 45 minutes of coffee isn't going to put you in the friend zone.

The friend zone only comes up when you have been actively hanging around a girl for weeks or months.