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Developing Killer Instinct (How to Be More Aggressive With Women)
In this discussion, we are going to tell you how to develop Killer Instinct and become more 'aggressive' with women.
We are also going to cover why being aggressive is important if you are serious about Getting Laid and not just looking to "meet women" or "learn social dynamics".
Since Good Looking Loser has a lot of new readers, I'm going to share some older (some now unlisted) videos that you probably haven't seen.
This is sort of an 'old school' post anyway.
Long, in-depth, comprehensive, with information (from experience) that you won't find elsewhere.
It might take you a good week to go through and absorb.
Being aggressive wasn't something that came naturally to me.
For a good 2 years it was something I had to "turn on" and be aware of. Eventually it settled into my persona.
I didn't really have anyone telling me what to do though.
What Does "Being Aggressive" Mean?
It's a good idea to define this term before we start.
'Being Aggressive' means two things -
You talk to a lot of girls.
You quickly initiate a physical dialogue early in the interaction in order to 'screen' her for availability. If she is IN - you move quickly to get her alone. (e.g. holding a girl's hand after shaking it within 60 seconds, trying to take her somewhere private within 10 minutes).
When these combine, net result is Killer Instinct and 'moving fast'.
The important thing to remember is that -
A little 'aggressive' goes a long way. Especially during the day.
You don't have to be ALL OVER these girls in broad daylight.
It is important, however, that you non-verbally communicate your intentions to see where she stands if you are trying to speed up your interaction.
Anyone that actually gets a lot of action will tell you that BEING AGGRESSIVE is ABSOLUTELY KEYto Getting Laid.
Sometime in 2006, I started studying various methods for how to meet women and "how to pick up girls" . I was hooked. I literally thought I found the secret formula to undo years of sexual underachievement.
Although I definitely underachieved during my college years - I still had an average sex life, often with above-average girls. I also had long slumps, especially during the ~2.5 year period as the "Lonesome Bodybuilder". Yet, I always had options, I just refused to take advantage of them. Partly because of pride, but also legitimate anxiety.
Regardless, I accepted just about everything I read from these dating experts as fact.
After all, their formulas and explanations made sense on an intellectual level and seemed to explain and offer solutions to so much that I had been in denial about.
But one theory that I noticed that seemed suspect was their personal "gameplan" or protocol for getting women into bed.
With only a few exceptions, it looked like this -
meet girl (attraction + comfort), take number
date (day 1)
date (day 2)
date (day 3)
Although it would be many years until I could Get Laid on a regular basis, even I knew that the guys that really got a lot of action were Getting Laid on the SAME NIGHT and not on "date (day 3)".
Now, it's obvious that these "formulas" never distinguished the difference between "meeting women" and Getting Laid. This method was for "dating" and not Getting Laid - non-restaurant courting with witty text messages in-between.
In fairness, however, this drawn out approach (date 1... date 2... date 3...) is probably the best way for inexperienced guys to Get Laid and get some much needed experience.
But too many guys are trying to become "hardcore players" when they haven't yet seen a girl naked in real life.
Don't be that guy - just go on a bunch of dates with a girl that likes you and eventually she will let you insert your penis into her vagina so you can tell your friends and family members.
Also, in hindsight, the fact that the 'authorities' were still following this extended protocol tells me that they are being seen as boyfriend material and weren't very aggressive with girls when they meet them.
The guys that fuck 30+ girls a year, are nailing chicks on the FIRST DAY/NIGHT and are not playing text game or planning their "adventure date - day 3" with a girl.
They are doing so, consciously (but usually not), through our Screening paradigm by being aggressive with girls.
The girls that are sexually available will let them lead the way quickly.
The girls there are not sexually available will bail quickly.
Scotty's Logical Truth
Scotty's always balked at the (text game, phone game, date 1, date 2, date 3) method for Getting Laid.
Back in 2008, I discussed with him what I would do when I got a girl out of the bar - (which wasn't very often in 2008!)
I would meet a girl in a bar.
After I kissed her, I would take her to another nearby bar, or if it was closing time - a deli or restaurant.
You know, "bounce" her to a new location so then we would be "isolated". (understand - I was ALL about the seduction stuff, if it was an political ideology - I would have been willing to kill and die for it)
He asked -
You are doing what?
I said -
I'm taking the girl to a "bounce spot".
He asked -
I said something to the effect of - (I don't completely remember)
Because that's what we are supposed to do.
Or that's what they told me to do.
Then I'll "increase the attraction" and take her to another spot or take her home if the 'comfort' is there.
He said -
I don't know what the hell or who the hell is teaching you this stuff...
All you are doing is letting these chicks sober up and introducing problems into a situation where a horny chick already wants to fuck you.
Is there a part of the plan when you "bounce" the girl to your bedroom?
It all depends on your FIRST INTERACTION and how the girl sees you.
First impressions are absolutely fucking critical in setting the table for any future "relationship".
Even undersexed, unexperienced, Blue Pill warriors agree that 'most girls decide in 10 seconds if they are willing to fuck a guy'.
But that's only half the story.
It's not just your appearance that sets the first impression.
It's more about how you come across -
- Does she see you as boyfriend material and not planning to let you fuck her because she might look slutty?
-- Or does she see you as a cool non-judgmental player who is going to be good in bed?
- Does she see you as a predictable, safe 'nice guy' that would be someone she could show her friends and family?
-- Or does she see you as a non-clingy guy that she could fuck 2-3 times a month?
- Are you passive, sheepish about sex and always waiting for her permission take things further?
-- Or are you proactive, comfortable with your intentions and willing to physically take charge?
And 43 other first impression factors that I cover in "Swag Factor".
In 2008, Scotty was aggressive and came across as a sexy, open-minded, edgy bad boy that gets a lot of action because he knew how to handle women.
He was attracting girls that were much the same and looking for a guy like that. Most would fuck him the moment he tried. These girls were mainly looking for excitement.
In 2008, I wasn't aggressive and came across as a good looking but overly friendly, harmless, predictable guy that would make a safe, loyal boyfriend. * this is a bit of an exaggeration, but I definitely was closer to boyfriend material than a player
I was attracting girls that were much the same and looking for a guy like that. They had a mandatory time limit on how long it would be before they spread their legs. These girls were mainly looking for relationships and wanted to get me emotionally invested.
So it's both true and not true.
If you are aggressive, you will screen in the DTF sexually active girls that usually have little or no time limit and screen out the relationship seekers who want a safer guy.
If you are not aggressive, you will screen in the relationship seekers and 'good girls' that have a very concrete time limit and screen out the DTF girls that are looking for a more exciting guy.
And Often -
The hotter the girl, the more this is true.
Hot girls looking for sex despise "nice guys" that try to fuck them, as many of them have experienced really awkward situations with the nice guys in their peer group.
What about being too aggressive and scaring girls off?
This is the most common argument against being aggressive.
Guys are often worried about "losing" or "scaring" girls if they are more aggressive. (girls that they don't already have)
This excuse is simply a form of approach anxiety and an effort to "play it safe" in order to avoid rejection.
All I can say is -
The more aggressive you are - the more you will get Get Laid and rejected.
The less aggressive you are - the less you will get Get Laid and rejected.
It's your pick.
If you are truly looking to Get Laid on the SAME day, eventually you will need to get used to being at least somewhat aggressive.
If you are satisfied with taking phone numbers and trying to follow up with flakey relationship seekers with multiple dates that end at restaurants, you don't need to be as aggressive.
Again, a little 'aggressive' will go a long way and you don't have to (and shouldn't) molest girls to communicate your intentions and to see where they stand.
Use good judgement for Christ's sake.
Walk away if you meet some weird bitch. Otherwise, make sure you get it on camera if you egg her on.
It will take some work go to from being a passive pussy to being an assertive dickhead, but here are some ways to gradually accomplish this.
Plan on having 10-15 of these interactions before you leave the bar with a DTF girl.
How to Build Killer Instinct (How to Be More Aggressive With Women)
Okay, I've seductively teased you (kept you waiting) with 2,000 words, so lets get to it.
Like most gradual psychological and physical processes, there's no foolproof 'step-by-step' method to accomplish it.
I just to have to throw them all at you - you'll have to be aware of these things and try them when ready.
The key is to TRY.
#1 Commit to the Goal of: Putting Penis into Vagina (Commit to Getting Laid)
I can tell you from experience, since I was once very passive with women - you will legitimately have to COMMIT to Getting Laid if you want to get more of them in bed. Especially if you want to do so on the same night. Period.
If you legitimately commit to this, by nature - you will slowly become more assertive and have less tolerance for drawn out small talk and taking phone numbers.
Killer Instinct (aggressiveness) doesn't just 'happen'.
It's something that you have to gradually build up. Your focus needs to be on GETTING LAID and not "getting better with women", "practicing social dynamics", avoiding rejection or taking phone numbers.
You need to commit to GETTING LAID and nothing in-between.
#2 Ponder These 2 Truths
Don't ponder too long, but it's important that you start to really believe these 2 things -
Getting Laid is truly an 'all-or-nothing' game. You either Get Laid or you don't.
While in-between moral victories and small accomplishments (getting a girl's phone number, kissing a girl on a first date, talking to a scary girl) are definitely well-earned victories for inexperienced guys (and anyone in their first year) - they need to become meaningless if you truly are committed to having sex with a lot of girls.
After you've slept with 3 or 4 girls via cold approach, it's really time to stop counting the "kiss closes" and phone numbers you collect.
You ABSOLUTELY have to ditch the scarcity mindset of "losing girls" that we just discussed.
It is true that you will "lose" girls from being too aggressive. But the vast majority of those girls were not sexually available in the first place.
At any given time, admittedly overly generalizing and not distinguishing between venues/environments, only ~30/100 of girls are sexually available and only ~5-9/100 are DTF.
YOU WILL NOT BE GETTING MOST GIRLS IN BED - REGARDLESS OF HOW YOU APPROACH THEM.
What is you need to know is that you will lose just as many (if not more) girls by being too passive.
It doesn't really matter since the source usually isn't anyone with any influence.
The only time that you need to concern yourself with 'douchebag feedback' is if you hear it from MULTIPLE girls.
If MULTIPLE chicks are telling you that you are a douchebag, it means that you are trying too hard or being a little too cocky and it's coming off as mean or arrogant.
The better looking you are, the easier it is to set off this 'douchebag' threshold.
Otherwise, get used to it if you are trying to Get Laid more.
90% of the population will think you are a douchebag.
Normal guys will stand there in silence watching you hit on girls, hoping you strike out and think to themselves "this guy is a douchebag".
Often, that is the highlight of their week.
#5 Go On As Many "Dates" As You Can (and take things as far as you can)
"Dates" are terribly underrated as a learning tool.
You get to go out and try moves on GIRLS THAT ALREADY LIKE YOU.
There's very little potential to "mess up" with an emotionally healthy girl that ALREADY LIKES YOU.
In the beginning, I probably gained as much confidence on all my "dates" than I did from actually trying to pick up women.
On these dates, just try to move a little quicker with the girls -
If you normally wait until the 2nd date to makeout with the girl, try it on the 1st date.
If you normally wait until the 3rd date to get naked with the girl, try it on the 2nd date.
You get the idea.
Just a little faster each time.
Of course, if you are inexperienced, you probably didn't make a "player" first impression when you met the girl, so she is probably looking at you as 'boyfriend material' and not going to let you fuck her for a while.
But that doesn't mean you can't try to push the envelope and Get Laid.
After all, the girl already likes you and even if you take things too far, she'll just say she's not ready and you'll have to try next time.
Once you can be aggressive with women and have a house/apartment within walking distance, dates will be a waste of time - but until that day (took me over 2 years), you better not be turning down free practice.
If you are being aggressive - it will not go smoothly most of the time.
If you are being aggressive - it will not go smoothly most of the time.
It's not going to always be smooth trying to kiss a girl in 30 seconds.
It's not going to always be smooth trying to take a girl to your car or out of a bar in 3 minutes.
Why would it be???
It doesn't mean you can't do it.
Just don't worry about being smooth.
Let the undersexed guys on the sidelines watching you "rate your game".
#7 You Need to Try to Make Moves BEFORE the Girl Is Comfortable
This is really key if you are actually going to be aggressive and move quickly.
If you want to play in the big leagues and fuck 30+ girls a year (via cold approach) you are going to have to make moves BEFORE the girl is fully comfortable.
"Comfort" is highly overrated anyway.
Excitement and sexual tension/attraction is a way bigger deal.
An emotionally-healthy, sexually-active and DTF girl only needs to be semi-comfortable to have sex with a guy she is attracted to.
Although I haven't made an aggressive screening video in a couple years (I haven't been single - outside of a few months last summer), every time I posted one, a beyond clueless guy would write in something like this -
Basically, this kid who recently started puberty (or not) is explaining to me that I need to 'be submissive' to make girls comfortable so that I can "get them".
Even for me, who is pretty intimidating, this couldn't be further from the truth.
If you are going to move fast with girls, you have got to be willing to try things when NEITHER SHE OR YOU IS COMFORTABLE.
THAT IS CALLED -
If you are waiting for a girl to say -
Okay, my current comfort levels are now sufficient, you may now proceed to take me to your automobile, method of transportation or dwelling.
....you will literally waiting forever.
Do these chicks always look fully comfortable?
It doesn't matter.
No girl is going to be 100% comfortable when you try to put her in your car or take her out of a bar in 3 minutes.
Not all girls are even going to be 100% comfortable sleeping with you after 2 months of dating.
It doesn't mean you can't do it.
If you are going to be aggressive, you have to follow your own timetable and be persistent.
#8 Just Try and Get A Little Faster With Women Each Time (To be more aggressive with women, you need to try to be more aggressive with women)
While this may come as a disappointment, there's really no magic formula for moving fast(er) with women.
You need to try.
Sometimes the girl will go along with it.
Sometimes she will not.
Unless she leaves, try the same move again in a few minutes.
Although "comfort" is overrated and women need far less than the experts say, even DTF girls have a foreplay/warmup period that they need to get excited.
Ultimate 'How to Be Aggressive with Women' FAQ
How to you kiss a girl in 10 seconds?
- YOU TRY TO KISS HER IN 10 SECONDS.
How do you hold a girl's hand in 30 seconds?
- YOU TRY TO HOLD HER HAND IN 30 SECONDS.
How do you take a girl out of a bar in 1 minute?
- YOU TRY TO TAKE HER OUT OF A BAR IN 1 MINUTE.
How do you put a girl in your car in 3 minutes?
- YOU TRY TO PUT HER IN YOUR CAR IN 3 MINUTES.
YOU LEAD, SHE FOLLOWS.
It works like this -
If you are used to waiting 3 minutes to try to hold a girl's hand - try to hold her hand in 2 minutes.
If you are used to waiting 30 minutes to try to kiss a girl - try kissing her in 20 minutes.
If you are used to waiting 60 minutes to try to take a girl out of the bar - try to take her out of the bar in 30 minutes.
Just try to do things a little faster and accept that it may not be smooth or comfortable.
#9 Move Fast With All Girls That You Get Strong Eye Contact From
Here's a trick to let you know which girls you can move particularly fast with.
If the girl gives you strong eye contact -
SHE FINDS YOU SEXUALLY ATTRACTIVE. (and is likely sexually available herself)
Don't wait - just barge right in.
She wants to meet you.
When I first worked with Scotty, it seemed like he knew some sort of magic trick that let him instantly get his hands all over 100% of the girls he talked to.
It was crazy - it was like 100% of the girls he hit on liked him.
He did know a secret -
Eye contact. (would have been nice if he told me this!)
One of the reasons Scotty could get physical so quickly with girls is because he knew which ones already had sex on their mind.
Learning to instinctively read and assertively react to eye contact is WAY MORE efficient than blindly spam cold approaching.
Girls that shoot you strong contact are usually sexually available (not necessary DTF however) and sexually attracted to you.
Eye contact is the best non-verbal form of screening.
#10 When You Run Out of Stuff to Say, Try to Take the Girl Somewhere Else with Our "Follow Me" Move
Inexperienced guys often run out of things to say.
Their default response to silent social tension is to leave.
Instead of doing that, when you run out of stuff to say, do one of two things -
1) Ask the girl for her number
Nice meeting you, I'm going to take off now, here - put your number in my phone.
Nice meeting you, I'm going to hit you up sometime - what's a number I can text you at?
Remember, the words never matter.
If the girl is available and likes you, you could literally say -
I just ran out of shit to say, I'm freezing up again, Good Looking Loser says to ask for you number at this point - what's your number?
...and she will laugh, give you her number and answer your text/call.
Say "Follow Me" (or other pretense, "It's hot here, lets go over here...", "It's cold here, lets go over here...")
Walk her somewhere else
It doesn't matter if you don't have a pre-planned spot (you should pre-scout out the venue/area or know where your car is), just get used to physically leading chicks with our mandatory Killer Instinct move.
Take her to a table.
Take her to a park bench.
Take her to the bar.
Take her away from the bar.
Take her to the parking lot.
TAKE HER ANYWHERE.
I absolutely live on this move.
JUST TAKE HER SOMEWHERE INSTEAD OF WALKING OFF.
This is exactly how I take every girl away from her potentially judgmental friends.
This is exactly how I take every single girl out of the bar.
This is exactly how I take every single girl into my/a bedroom.
fun fact In 2010, one smart girl caught on and kept saying "follow me". She didn't resist at all, she just caught on to my little move to get her alone, I used it on her at a party about 4 times in 15 minutes.
Compilation of Mandatory Aggressive Move "Follow Me" (begins at 5 minutes)
The faster you try things, the more awkward it can be.
Just get used to it.
#11 Stop Relying On and Limit the Small Talk to 5 or 10 Minutes (inexperienced guys: Limit to 25 Minutes)
While inexperienced introverted guys often get stuck when run out of things to say, the reverse problem affect inexperienced extroverted guys -
These guys always seem to get themselves stuck in long, pointless, drawn out conversations.
Their solution is to try and figure out more "material".
Anything to keep the conversation going.
While it beats running away, this isn't a great approach if you are really looking to Get Laid.
If you feel you are on your way to a drawn out overly plutonic conversation, do one of two things -
Ask the girl for her number and leave
Use the 'Follow Me' move or try to kiss the girl
If you have a physical dialogue going, you don't need to be worried about extended small talk.
Just make sure you have a place in mind to take the girl.
Again, this list is for guys that are looking to become more aggressive and Get Laid.
For guys that are more interested in "meeting women" or "building an emotional connection", by all means - keep talking and talking.
Show how witty and playful you can be.
The cool part is -
After a feeling out period, you'll find that it's actually EASIER to be physical with women than to rely on "words" and verbal communication.
#12 Go to Bars and Not Bookstores or Malls
While you can be aggressive with girls at bookstores and malls (a little goes a long way), neither are really ideal environments to really get in a large volume of aggressive approaches.
It's just not socially appropriate or possible to most girls to let you really touch them or take them home during the day.
While it certainly is possible to take a girl into a bathroom at the mall, back to your car or to your nearby apartment - that is just not something that inexperienced guys are going to pull of.
Go to a bar and try your best to take EVERY GIRL you talk to outside of the bar with the 'Follow Me' move.
It's actually not that hard, you just have to try -
I used to hate bars (really) - but once I could Get Laid, they were way more appealing.
On my luckier nights, I would only have to be in the place for 20 or 25 minutes.
For Getting Laid via cold approach, living within walking distance of a strip of bars is the IDEAL situation.
#13 Leave Your Cell Phone At Home When You Go Out
Here's something I unintentionally did for a little while when I moved back to West Hollywood and lived next to the strip of bars.
Leave your cell phone at home and simply go out to bring a girl home with you.
Intentionally kill the "get her number" option.
All or nothing.
It might just change your mentality about how you go about hitting on girls.
Fun Fact: Not that you care, but I didn't even have a smart phone until 2013. This phone, the "Samsung Rant" (Red) was awesome. It could send out blank carbon copy mass texts. At my height, I had just over 600 girl's numbers (party scene, not all cold approach), many being live.
#14 Go Out Alone with a 10 Girl Quota
Go out by yourself, commit to talking to 10 girls and try to take every girl away from her friends and out of the bar.
I know -
If only it were that easy.
I'll have a long post/guide on how to get comfortable with going out alone.
I'm going to spend a week or so writing it so it's worth a shit.
It was definitely something that wasn't easy for me or anyone else I know.
I'll have a method for you so you can ease into it. Maybe even have fun too.
#15 Chill the Fuck Out (Have Some Patience)
If you spent 20 or 25 years being passive and exclusively relying on "words" with women, that isn't going to change overnight.
You can make HUGE strides very quickly however.
It's just like Approach anxiety - exposure therapy via simply trying is the cure.
Every time you try something and succeed, it will be 50% easier the next time.
It might be difficult the first time you say to a girl, "Let's go for a walk..." or "Follow me..." and grab her hand and start walking.
But the next time you try, it will be twice as easy.
The third time it will almost be natural.
By the fifth time, you'll do it with confidence.
Use your dates/meet ups to get used to leading women around.
If you are trying to Get Laid a lot on the same day or night, you need to build up your Killer Instinct - there's no way around it.
It separates the guys that Get Laid a lot and the guys that Get Laid a little.
I don't know any guy that has nailed 50-100+ girls via cold approach that isn't aggressive.
Killer Instinct is so valuable and it can compensate for so many things.
- An average looking guy with Top 1% Killer Instinct will Get Laid like a rockstar.
- An uninteresting guy who hasn't done much with his life with Top 1% Killer Instinct will get a ton of action.
But there's no magic formula to developing Killer Instinct.
If you want to move faster with women, you are going to need to try to move faster with women.
Go on more dates, try to end them in your bedroom, aggressively hit on girls that you wouldn't otherwise talk to, just try to get a little faster each day and accept that it may be neither smooth or comfortable.
Like approach anxiety, exposure therapy and experience is the solution.
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Hi GLL. i don't have too many friends and work crazy hours to support myself. super mad interested in that guide about how to go out alone. I'm just tired of having to text friends and have th em flake out on me.
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Chris, did you meet your girlfriend through cold approach? And is she a younger girl or one around your age (not that you're old, but you're not in your 20s anymore either). I hope those questions aren't too personal, I'm just curious as you...
Chris, did you meet your girlfriend through cold approach? And is she a younger girl or one around your age (not that you're old, but you're not in your 20s anymore either). I hope those questions aren't too personal, I'm just curious as you don't talk much about your gf, or long-term relationships in general.
I didn't think the "Get Hung" guide would have girls eyeing my bulge. It did.
I didn't think that your exercise and diet advice would have girls checking me out. It did.
I DEFINITELY didn't think that your hair-loss prevention would fix my hairline. Not in a billion years. It mother fucking did. You saved me a crazy amount of time, a ton of money, unnecessary pain, and destroyed my #1 source of anxiety. DESTROYED IT.
Kratom is next!
To anyone reading this, follow through, read this material, APPLY this material, and enjoy life.