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Relationship and Oneitis (Part 2)
(by: Rooster, Good Looking Loser Contributor/Livestock)
continued from-
Here's some strategies and thoughts that Rooster complied from his own journey-
For the best guide EVER WRITTEN on managing uncommitted relationships, see- "Retention by Good Looking Loser"
What's most important to not act on them and take it as a sign that you need to bring other chicks on board. Be aware that it’s not a part of a healthy relationship, why it happens, and how to fix it.
GLL says:
In my early 20's, I used to stare at my phone for hours, calculating the time in between calls (there wasn't texting back then) and brainstorming/daydreaming about what the girl was doing. Now, I don't even remember if I called the girl or if I even thought she was cool. I literally don't care about the girl until she impresses me. So turning obsession to authentic 'indifference' is COMPLETELY possible, you just need to get some action.
GLL says:
I'll talk about this in detail later.
The ONE MANDATORY REQUIREMENT for being in a relationship is- YOU CAN GET LAID and the girl knows it.
You'll both know that you are in the relationship because you WANT to be and not because you NEED to be.
What it comes down to though is...
Fucking more than one girl at a time is the best solution to avoid and destroy oneitis, but if you don’t know how to have girls stay around in your life, you’ll likely have a lot of difficulty.
Learning how to do so can be the result of girls chasing you, instead of the other way around.
Simple things like you not labeling a relationship, seeing her just once a week and fucking her very well can make all the difference.
If you are really starting making significant progress and sleeping with a couple of women a month, be aware of all that we've discussed.
If you are pretty inexperienced, be even more aware, you are at the highest risk.
If you want a monogamous girlfriend, the same still definitely applies, if not more.
Being able to control your emotions will only make your relationships better.
An end to any relationship can suck, but how much it sucks can really varies on how you can deal with it, and your lifestyle.
Your reaction could be-
“Oh well, on to the next one!!”
Or
“That’s okay; I’m excited to meet more women.”
Instead of the usual-
“Oh no... this is going to drastically affect my mood for the next weeks or months...”
Or
“I’m never going to find another like her...”
I’m not saying to try and block out love or anything like that.
It’s definitely possible you could date a lot of these girls long-term, but the issues are becoming overly emotionally invested quickly before spending significant time with her.
It’s like having a governor on your long-term happiness.
Be aware of these negative powerful emotions, and stop them from controlling you.
Go Get Some!
Love, XOXO,
~ Rooster
A Rooster with Options is a Happy Rooster.
Thank you for this very good article. I'm very interested in controlling my emotions (in general, not just with girls...) and can succeed at it for the most part, but I don't know how I'll react with girls when I gain experience. I think I'm at...
Thank you for this very good article. I'm very interested in controlling my emotions (in general, not just with girls...) and can succeed at it for the most part, but I don't know how I'll react with girls when I gain experience. I think I'm at risk because I am quite emotional, but I think I'll be able to fight negative emotions as my brain's not completely shut when my mood is down.
I can definitely say that being with a lot of different girls over time, and being involved with more than one at a time will definitely help cure one-itis and a lot of neediness in general. However sometimes you meet a girl who completely knocks...
I can definitely say that being with a lot of different girls over time, and being involved with more than one at a time will definitely help cure one-itis and a lot of neediness in general. However sometimes you meet a girl who completely knocks you off your game and gets your mind spinning. I'm in this kind of situation now. She flaked on me one night last week and I just was really disappointed. I kept second guessing myself whether I should call her out on it or not, but she said she was tired and that's pretty congruent with her lifestyle (gym, work, school) so I just said ok no problem. It usually wouldn't bother me so much but for some reason it did. Luckily I'm just getting over being sick and finally hit the gym hard tonight so that really helped my mood and clear my mind.
My plan now it to hit campus tomorrow morning dressed nice as hell and round up a new girl. Whether or not it goes anywhere isn't really the point, it's getting that new prospect on your radar and working it, concentrating less on any particular girl.
Great post, love this site.
Take it easy guys
-CCBB
Hey man, thanks a lot.
When guys are gaining real experience for the first time, its very likely some of these negative emotions will come up. If you notice them - realize why they are happening, what to do to get rid of them, and of course not...
Hey man, thanks a lot.
When guys are gaining real experience for the first time, its very likely some of these negative emotions will come up. If you notice them - realize why they are happening, what to do to get rid of them, and of course not to act on them.
Oneitis drove me to go from geek to international player. This would have never been possible without the AA drills. It kills neediness like a nuclear bomb.
You will not get a medal for catching oneitis, having insomnia and hyperventilation for...
Oneitis drove me to go from geek to international player. This would have never been possible without the AA drills. It kills neediness like a nuclear bomb.
You will not get a medal for catching oneitis, having insomnia and hyperventilation for 2 months over a girl is not cool. I'm glad I survived.
Yeah man. From what I remember you saying awhile back it hit you harder than anyone I've known. Brutal.
The one thing though it can be used for motivation. We do things for the good, but because of the bad.
Unfortunately without legit...
Yeah man. From what I remember you saying awhile back it hit you harder than anyone I've known. Brutal.
The one thing though it can be used for motivation. We do things for the good, but because of the bad.
Unfortunately without legit direction, motivation doesn't do much. It was initial motivation to just consistently stumble around the clubs incoherent. Luckily, that didn't last long though, when I used that drive for working out instead.
Hi Chris,
I wrote you once before in the 'About' section.
You are a good mentor so I'm asking you some advice on something.
I work in sells. I'm very good at it, probably good enough to make it a career.
The thing is that I'm 27 and I REALLY...
Hi Chris,
I wrote you once before in the 'About' section.
You are a good mentor so I'm asking you some advice on something.
I work in sells. I'm very good at it, probably good enough to make it a career.
The thing is that I'm 27 and I REALLY want to enjoy my youth and bang most chick that I can.
I'm hesitating between working in sells and get a job as a bartender (full time) to meet girls night after night.
Money is not a problem.
To be honest, I don't care about it as soon as I have enough to live and enjoy life.
My hesitation comes from the fact that everyone around me are working hard, are starting to have children, are buying houses, etc. and I feel some kind of social pressure to do the same BUT I don't want it at this time.
My choice is almost made, I want to work in bar, mostly to get girls and also for all the fun that it brings.
What is you opinion on that man?
I would very appreciate if you would take the time to answer this man because I'm a GoodLookingLoser too lol
Sébastien
Sorry if my English is not the best, I'm from Montréal CA.. our first language is french
Hey Seabass - I know what you mean. It wasn't until I was 29 until I got "serious" with my life (work).
And You know what?
It was the best decision I ever made (not "working" until 29). EVERYTHING EVERYTHING EVERYTHING I devoted my teens and...
Hey Seabass - I know what you mean. It wasn't until I was 29 until I got "serious" with my life (work).
And You know what?
It was the best decision I ever made (not "working" until 29). EVERYTHING EVERYTHING EVERYTHING I devoted my teens and 20s to is what became "Good Looking Loser".
You won't regret waiting 1-5 years to "work" (and ideally--- you should become an expert at something and teach others how to do it- thats what I do).
You might regret not living out your 20's and doing what YOU WANT.
Absolutely become a bartender, it's the best social job you can have. You are clearly not ready to "settle down" ... so why should you?
Don't let societal pressure make the decisions for you. 90% of males are bored, undersexed and hardly satisfied with their life (even if they made decent money) - you don't have to be one of them.
You can learn a lot as a bartender that no other job would teach you. You have an opportunity to do it now, and an opportunity that you should take. "What you should be doing" can wait... forever.
I didn't think the "Get Hung" guide would have girls eyeing my bulge. It did.
I didn't think that your exercise and diet advice would have girls checking me out. It did.
I DEFINITELY didn't think that your hair-loss prevention would fix my hairline. Not in a billion years. It mother fucking did. You saved me a crazy amount of time, a ton of money, unnecessary pain, and destroyed my #1 source of anxiety. DESTROYED IT.
Kratom is next!
To anyone reading this, follow through, read this material, APPLY this material, and enjoy life.
Thanks again Chris, life would suck without you.
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