Social Misconceptions About College - The Big Picture (Part VI)
Welcome to Part VI, the final edition to our "Academic and Social Misconceptions About College" series.
We'll do some official step-by-step 'guides' in the future.
The catch-22 with writing about this "college thing" is -
- Kids age 17-18, the ones who need it most, are unlikely to find or search for this type of information.
- The guys that find information (and Good Looking Loser, in general) are long removed from college.
- A lot of this advice needs to be implemented the first 4 months of Freshman year, when social circles are open.
Even for me, unlike the rest of Good Looking Loser, this series about 'College' is written in hindsight. I had some success in college. But far from what I "should have" had.
As I write to you today, I'm torn - although I can confidently say - I use NOTHING I learned in the classrooms of higher-education, I recommend that the majority of you guys: GO TO COLLEGE at a LARGE AFFORDABLE PUBLIC UNIVERSITY.
Ideally, receiving a scholarship to do so - even if that means selecting a school that isn't as "good" as your other options.
The decision to GO or NOT GO to college is based on your alternatives.
Working a minimum wage job with others who have no career aspirations, joining the military, or going to an unsocial commuter trade school are usually not better options if you want a social/sex life.
If you don't believe that a social and sex life matter (why are you on Good Looking Loser in the first place...) - then by all means - go make some bank by taking some grueling manual labor job with guys 10+ years older that have criminal records.
I don't mean that in a condescending way.
Just don't expect to be sleeping with any college Freshmen.
But going to work in the oil fields outside of Edmonton Canada or living in a trailer so you can work in a coal mine in Elko Nevada (or similar path) is far from a 'no-brainer' like a few people are suggesting.
Teenagers are clueless.
And I was the type that adults said "had it all together".
I even believed it.
But the reality was...
I didn't know shit.
But I don't regret going to college - even though it spanned over 6 years.
College isn't right for everyone.
But there's no better place in your early 20's to have a killer social and sex life.
Misconception: The Guys that Get Laid the Most in College Do So By "Picking Up" Girls
This is one of the biggest misconceptions about college.
In fact, it is one of the biggest misconceptions about life.
This is how most college guys people get laid -
- A guy and a girl see each other around, often several times.
- Sometimes they say, "Hi", make small talk or exchange stares - but not always.
- One day, a mutual friend tells the guy or girl that the other one "thinks they're hot", "likes them" or encourages one to speak to the other.
- At some social event, usually where alcohol is dispensed, the guy or girl is formally introduced to the other or makes a clumsy effort to pursue the other one - knowing full well that other person is interested in them.
- This usually continues for a couple weeks or until the guy has the balls/opportunity to be alone with the girl.
- Since mutual friends and social consequences are involved, the girl usually doesn't give up her pussy right away but is still encouraged to sleep with the guy.
- Eventually - they have sex.
This is how it happens in high school, college and almost every other facet of life for the average guy (and for guys that are good with women - they move faster).
No where in there was a "pick up" involved.
College guys that get laid a lot slowly learn a little "game" (usually a combination of small talk, jokes and invitations to hang out) and slowly learn to pick up girls that aren't in their extended circle of friends.
"Pickup" is more prevalent post-college, mainly in bars.
"Pickup" is not usually a college thing. Especially not at smaller universities.
That's why the notion of "doing pick up" at college is generally a last resort.
Preferences of college girls are highly based on your collegiate social status and generally the "guy doing pick up as a last resort" isn't on the radar.
I'm not discouraging you from picking up girls when you are in college, I'm just saying that you should be taking measures to inflate your status and access to women, such as-
- Having a killer, athletic body. (always)
- Joining a cool fraternity. (underclassmen)
- Getting a job as a bartender at a popular bar. (upperclassmen)
- Being friends with popular guys that get laid.
- Being friends with popular girls.
- Being the social leader that warmly extends invites to pre- and post-parties to everyone cool.
- Branching out once in a while and joining a student club to meet completely new people. (optional)
Then go "pick up" girls - see how much easier it is.
To some extent, "pick up" will always be an uphill battle.
Even post-college there are more efficient (and effective) ways to get access to and easily smash hot pussy.
"Pickup" is a necessary skill that builds fundamentals, can exponentially improve your social and sex life - but not something that most guys should completely lean on - especially in college.
Misconception: Sleeping with College Girls is Overrated
Every so often, mainly on the YouTube channel, we will get a judgmental, usually undersexed guy (or girl) from the depths of hell and despair comment that we live meaningless, superficial, pathetic, unfulfilling lives since we prioritize our sex lives.
If there was any confusion, I want to reaffirm that sleeping with a lot of girls, especially while in your 20's, is one of the most meaningful, exciting, rewarding, fulfilling things you can do.
Everyone knows it.
Even the people that claim otherwise.
While there are plenty of misconceptions about college and your 20's, the decade when it's socially appropriate to be somewhat irresponsible, a certain concept remains true -
There's a time and place for everything.
It's called "college".
This notion isn't just true for guys.
Girls use college to experiment with drugs and alcohol (it's called 'partying') and learn about their vagina.
This mindset is completely healthy in my opinion.
Your priorities will likely change in your 30's, but your social and sex life should be a priority in your 20's.
Mine really wasn't - that's why I was scrambling to pick up the pieces in my late 20's.
As rewarding as studying hard and getting an "A" on a term paper is (I graduated Magna Cum Laude, I'm a douchebag - not an idiot), hooking up with one of your school's hottest girls will be more memorable and arguably have a greater effect on your overall life and developing self-esteem.
Misconception: Class is a Great Place to Pickup Girls
First off - the classroom isn't a bad place to "get" girls.
It's not a great place however - it's more of a spot to meet girls.
Furthermore - the whole concept of "pick up" needs to be thrown out the window, especially in this setting.
Do not 'screen' girls in your classes, do not physically touch them and drop the idea of 'being aggressive' to see if they are 'DOWN TO FUCK' instead of going to class.
Whether a guy is willing to acknowledge it or not, unlike a random bar/mall, there are social consequences to coming off like a creep. And College is all about status.
"Creepy Lunatic Pickup Artist" isn't in the Top 20%.
How To Do It
Build up a rapport with the girls you like, ideally sitting close by them and start asking them "How was your weekend?" or "What's going down this weekend?" after you've talked to her a few times.
Try to stick to discussion about social stuff - not studying or homework.
Follow up the "weekend" small talk with extending the invite for her (and her friends) to chill with you (and your friends) at a certain spot on the weekend.
This can be done before class or after class - it doesn't matter.
(basically - you are ALREADY friends with the girl, you are just inviting her and her friends to tag along)
Take her number under those conditions.
Try to hook up with her on the weekend.
An 'unaggressive' move like this isn't going to land you in the "friend zone".
Few guys have the balls to do this type of thing so she'll immediately know what you most likely have on your mind.
If it doesn't work out (or she has a boyfriend), if you are reasonably cool, most girls will be happy to set you up with one of their friends or invite you to their parties.
That's how "classroom game" works.
* Please don't write in telling me the story of how you 'picked up' the girl in your history class, I know it can be done - I've done it myself, even before I was any good at this stuff.
As crazy as it sounds - I just believe that the better environment to GET LAID is a Friday night party when the girls are already half-naked and getting drunk. I know - crazy.
Misconception: You Should Break Off With Your High School Friends and Go To College By Yourself
This will vary from person-to-person.
But I have a suggestion.
There's a school of thought that -
You should go to college ALONE, get away from everybody you ever knew, start a new life, be ON YOUR OWN and build from the ground up.
While the intentions may be noble and possibly the right decision for cool guys with excellent social skills, for the average Freshman - all this does is hinder his social life and support network - especially in the short-term.
If you have a cool friend that you can trust - go to college with him and live with each other during Freshman year.
The guys I knew that went to college with one of their best friends - had an astronomically better social lives than most of those that went alone.
Even guys that come to college already knowing some cool people, especially guys/girls that are extroverted and popular, are almost guaranteed a successful social life.
Back in 2001, despite having a lot of loyal, fairly popular friends - my ego (and academic qualifications) dictated that I, as usual, do my own thing.
As an 18 year old homesick kid, I would have benefitted tremendously from having one of my close friends go to school with me.
Misconception: You Can't Recover From a Bad Freshman Year (Socially)
As discussed through this series, Freshman year, particularly the first 4 months, is the most special, opportune and critical time in your entire college career.
It sets the table for the next 3.5 years (or 6 years, in my case).
While not making many cool friends or being antisocial during this period is a significant problem, it's not a death sentence so long as you haven't gotten the 'major creeper' tag (guys) or the 'major slut' tag (girls).
The best thing you can do is COMMIT to getting things fixed - not transferring.
(For transfers, it is an uphill climb which can literally be impossible when alone at larger schools)
Your best option, as an underclassmen, is joining a cool fraternity.
This is still a good option for upperclassman (age 21+) but getting a job at a popular bar or club can certainly suffice.
It should be noted, however, that very few guys recover from a disappointing Freshman campaign.
Their Freshman year was disappointing because of a lack of social skills or motivation - the same reasons why they can't break in as Sophomores or Juniors.
It is possible though.
Misconception: College Girls Spend 4 Year Slutting and Partying Up
As discussed in depth in Part III, college is certainly an experimental stage but social consequences prevent girls from sleeping around as much as outsiders claim.
Misconception: You Can't Get In With Sorority Girls If You Aren't in a Fraternity
This is only a minor misconception and it will vary from school to school.
If you are in the "Top 20%", likely as a 'Good Looking Independent' (or Athlete, obviously), you can definitely sleep with sorority girls, get invited to their functions and even become the subject of their gossip.
Being in a cool fraternity, however, simply makes this a lot more likely.
* It can be argued that the most popular (and hot) sorority girls look to branch out when they become upperclassmen and tired of the Greek scene. The gossip of dating or sleeping with an 'Independent' in an off-campus apartment can be managed much easier.
Misconception: You Can't Get In With Sorority Girls If You Don't Go to the College
After I've just spent 20,000 words telling you how a college campus is not the ideal place for a non-student to pick up attractive girls - there are always exceptions.
Just as in the 'real world', but admittedly slightly less on a college campus where there are more social consequences, virtually no sexually-available girl is off limits if you are a "Top 10%" or "Elite" Guy (good sex appeal, good swag factor/social status, good killer instinct).
Not even the popular sorority girls.
The main reason, however, that even Elite Guys can find it hard to get with hot sorority girls and the approval of her judgmental friends is -
These girls DON'T NEED to meet guys.
They are already socially encouraged to explore their options for sex/relationships from a nearly unlimited pool of guys their age in their Greek circles.
It's rare but not impossible to become their #1 option right away. Even if you are better looking than they.
It doesn't mean they don't "like" you - it means they aren't sexually-available to you.
They are often waiting on certain guys they already know to peruse them or in the middle of a "dating" run.
Persistence (aka 1 or 2 line mass text every 7-10 days) can work with these girls - especially when they have a falling out with their Greek circles.
As discussed in "Hot Girls Only Want to Fuck the Hottest Guys?", your sex appeal is the BY FAR most important thing when trying to land the young (17-20, underclassmen) sorority girls. You have to be someone they can show off to their friends, even if that never happens.
For the older (21-23) sorority girls, they are simply easier to get and not as tied to their Greek circles. They prefer a combination of looks-swag factor (coolness), and you have better access to them since most go to college bars.
Misconception: You Can't Recover From a Bad College Experience
As for many reading this, college came and went.
If you are on this site, it is probably fair to assume that you underachieved and the experience left a lot to be desired.
That was my story, despite having a decent sex life - at times.
I am living proof that your past doesn't define your future - in any capacity.
Had it not been for my lackluster sex/social life in college - I never would have had the unrelenting urge to make things right.
In fact, had I been happy with my social/sex life, I probably would declare that college was the "Best 4 Years of My Life," as so many others claim.
The key is not letting the past define your present either.
Not to go all Tony Robbins on you but -
Whatever your age, whatever your goals, whatever your past - you have today to build.
My advice, in general, is to prioritize your social/sex life in your 20's.
The money and career can wait.
There's two reasons for that -
- You will never have better access to hot pussy than in your 20's.
- If you are like me, you will never forgive yourself if you don't.
Had it not been for my decision to do so, I never would have gotten the experience to build this community, which I comfortably live off of.
The peace of mind and sense of well-being (it's not just Kratom) I have from knowing I can get laid enormously benefits every area of my life.
From the Heart
This was the first time that I ever fully revisited my college experience which spanned from 2001 to 2007.
I have to admit - I got pretty emotional at times.
Sometimes, I didn't even know if I was crying (yes, crying) tears of joy for my miraculous recovery to an ideal life or tears of sadness from the opportunities I so often cowardly squandered in my collegiate past.
What I do know is - I'm a very different person these days and the entire character I call "Good Looking Loser" (me in my early-mid 20's) is someone I can't completely remember anymore - even though I still feel like I'm 23 years old.
The peace I feel today is made so much more intense by my former isolation-by-choice lifestyle and overall loneliness that presided over my early 20's.
The best advice I can offer you is -
DON'T LET YOUR 20's PASS YOU BY.
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