Why the Approach Anxiety Program Works

The most frequently asked question I get on the Approach Anxiety Program (and Bathmate, ironically) from guys that considering investing their time it is-

Will My Approach Anxiety Go Away Forever?
Will My "Gains" Be Permanent?

Despite varying definitions of "approach anxiety", "go away" and "forever", the short answer is-


I define 'beating approach anxiety' as being able to approach 90% of the girls you want to with Basic Guy Game.

If you can look good and ask 90% of girls you are interested in for their number (basic guy game) - you will NEVER be without at least several options of girls to chill with.

You don't need aggressive stuff or even a screening mindset/approach to have a good sex life - but it does help if you are trying to hook up the FIRST day or night with a girl you just met.

What do need is to LOOK GOOD and enough social freedom/skill to speak to a stranger for about 3 minutes.
Fundamentals are the name of the game.

If you ACTUALLY COMPLETE the Approach Anxiety Program, your approach anxiety, as you currently know it - will go away forever.

The doesn't mean you will live an anxiety-free live - I don't.

All it means is that you will no longer have a drastic (or even low-moderate) physical or physiological response when you see and/or approach a woman you are interested in. And If you do - that response is usually dissipates entirely after you gain some social momentum which usually occurs after talking to just 1 girl.

Basically your "fight or flight" trigger is disabled or can be very quickly.

There's 2 reasons for that.

various animals

Exposure Therapy

The concept of exposure therapy is not my own.

It's been around for a long time and involved in too many clinical cognitive and psychological studies to count.

Exposure therapy is how you would beat approach anxiety whether not you did our program.

Anytime you are able to face one of your fears (and ideally - have a positive or neutral experience) - the anxiety of being in an identical or similar situation is diminished.

Exposure to low-moderate amounts bouts of anxiety lessen the overall anxiety.

The very best example and parallel of this is skydiving.

Whether you are afraid of heights or not - you probably would have some anxiety about jumping out of a plane if you had never done it before.

The unknown, uncertainty and the potential for "something really bad to happen" creates way more anxiety and excitement.

If you did end up jumping out of the plane or took a 'baby step' approach like going parasailing, hang gliding or indoor skydiving - the second  time you considered jumping out of a plane would be easier and not as scary.

If you jumped out of a plane again - the third time would be even easier.

If you went skydiving for a fourth time - you probably wouldn't be significantly anxious at all. Not even during the lead up, which can be very stressful for newbies.

At some point - just about ALL of your fears would dissipate and be replaced with either excitement or indifference - both nearly polar opposites states of anxiety and fear.

That's exposure therapy and that is what the Approach Anxiety Program does.

Constant, little controlled bouts of social anxiety and tension - until your comfort zone expands.

Like I boast - it is PHYSIOLOGICALLY IMPOSSIBLE to have approach anxiety, as defined above, if you take the Approach Anxiety Program seriously and see it through to completion. Seriously making an effort to beat your approach anxiety not just "doing" the drills.

By the end of the general program, Week 8, it will be easier to confidently approach a girl and ask for her number than to do some of the harder drills.

Tandem Sky Diving

Confidence - Been There, Done That.

While the effects of exposure therapy are direct and obvious, the second reason that you will rid yourself of approach anxiety forever if you complete the program is less obvious.

It can be described simply as -


When you are trying to do ANYTHING that you have ALREADY DONE BEFORE - you are more confident that you can succeed than if you had no experience whatsoever. Even if you aren't totally confident about possible success, there is some confidence instilled if you know that "failure" won't be the worst thing ever.

Confidence isn't black or white. Even being 20% confident can be powerful. The next time around you might be 30% confident.

This is also why a drill will get easier after you've done it one or two times.

You are confident you can do it for a third or fourth time - simply because you've already done it one or two times.

You will probably also be confident that you will do even better than your initial attempts/successes and that you stand only to improve.

During the program there will be days and moments where you consciously convince yourself that you have the courage to do something simply because you have done it before.


This rationalization is powerful and it will be one that will carry you through the harder days.

Confidence from experience is also a huge part of why approach anxiety, as you once knew it, will not ever return.

Even if, hypothetically, you completed the Approach Anxiety Program and for some reason - took 2 years of from talking to women - you wouldn't be entirely "starting over".

There would be a conscious part of your brain that you could turn to and think-

"I've done this before."
"I've made small talk with a girl for 2 minutes and asked for her number."
"I've made small talk with a girl for 3 minutes and asked for her number."
"I did this and it's only going to get easier."
"I can do this. I already have."


There would also be an unconscious part of your brain that would limit the fight or flight response once you did a few approaches.

It's like "muscle memory" for your brain.

The concept isn't foreign or limited to neuromuscular movement.

If you've heard the saying, "It's like riding a bike..."

Meaning - once you learn to ride a bike, you can pick it up very quickly again.
You aren't "starting over".
(ironically, I never learned to ride a bike - I was always rollerblading because of hockey. Skating is the SAME way.)

Your brain, central nervous system and peripheral nervous are designed to recognize familiar circumstances based on a past exposure.

An aside to confidence is "pride".

Somedays, you'll need to PROVE to yourself that you can do something and do it again - once you finish the Approach Anxiety Program you can legitimately take pride that you are a top 10% guy when it comes to social freedom.

The drills you did in weeks 6,7, and 8 are not things that the average guy can do without a significant amount of preparation.

You have that preparation.

You earned it.

You are better than the other humans that surround you.

You'll have too much pride to stand on the sidelines with the other chumps and you won't.



This is 'beating approach anxiety' (aka overcoming a slightly irrational fear) is not brain surgery.

It's not insightful why our program works or even hard to do once you get the ball rolling.

I only thought it was productive to discuss our Approach Anxiety Program in this fashion to reassure you that it's effects would be nearly everlasting.

It's just like anything else that legitimately you take the time to get used to.

I haven't swam in about 4 years.

If you threw me in a pool I wouldn't sink to the bottom and die. I'd eventually swim to the side, get out of the pool, grab a machete that was sitting poolside and chop you up.

It's not hard to understand why exposure therapy works and how confidence from the program is built and retained. 

Hopefully that clears up any questions about the lasting effects of program.

The program is free (and always will be) and will be updated and refined every few months if we decide there's a quicker way to get you from point A to point B.

It is CRITICAL that you trust me if you have previously "quit" approaching women because of fear of rejection or anxiety.

I need you to FOLLOW THE DIRECTIONS as you agreed to on Day 1 in the approach anxiety petition and LEAVE at the end of the drill.

To successfully complete this program we need you to put the agenda of "beating approach anxiety" far ahead of "getting laid" - there will be plenty of time for the later at later date.

Though I try not to make promises or guarantees - I also like to structure our stuff in a manner of DO THIS ---> GET THIS.

Our Approach Anxiety Program is no different.

If you legitimately complete the program from START to FINISH-

You will no longer have approach anxiety.

If I had approach anxiety, my #1 Goal in 2014 would be to finish this program.

I'd section off the first 5 months of the year to do virtually nothing but our program and hit the gym.

By June (at least), I'd be ready and able to have the best summer of my life. I'd also be in a good shape.