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For me, it was gradual and I actually wish I hit rock bottom earlier.
That's why it took me well over a year to get serious and beat approach anxiety.
#3 Try Your Best to Forget About Approach Anxiety and Just Get Laid
Do you really need to beat all your approach anxiety to have the sex life you want?
You can Get Laid plenty, even if you have approach anxiety.
I must have slept with 10 or 15 girls (via cold approach) before I actually could say I beat approach anxiety.
This is because -
The problem isn't entirely the 'approach anxiety', but rather that you don't talk to girls.
If you look above-average, most sexually available girls will be happy to talk to you - even if you are somewhat nervous. In fact, if you hit on girls that are noticeably less attractive/cool than you are, some may even think your nervousness is cute and will totally forgive you.
The best way to get rid of the anxiety is to start talking to the girl. Most of your anxiety generally goes away once you get in there.
So long as you can make small talk and finish your conversations with "let me shoot you a text sometime..." or "do you want to grab a drink sometime?" you can Get Laid plenty.
It might not be "same day game", but you'll have plenty of options.
You have to LOOK GOOD to make this work consistently though.
#5 Try to Stop Caring About "Feeling Social" (If You Want a Real Life and a Sex Life)
When I started in 2007, I would go out for extended period of times and do "sets" and talk to a predetermined amount of girls.
This is what we did in the pick up community.
While this certainly paid some dividends and is a great way to beat approach anxiety, it wasn't sustainable and I wasn't very consistent with it.
I would talk to 20 girls or no girls.
I was either in "pick up mode" or "normal person mode".
I couldn't often psyche myself up enough when I simply wanted to talk to a girl under normal circumstances.
I had to "feel social" and "warmed up".
This doesn't translate to when your life isn't solely about picking up girls.
Like I tirelessly explain in the "How to Go Out Alone to Bars If You Are Scared" program, you have to be able to "Go From 0 to 100" so you can just talk to girls whenever you want so you don't have to waste time on "being social".
Having the ability to talk to a couple girls a day (and asking them out) is much more beneficial than doing infrequent marathon days.
In the long-term and often in short-term.
If you want to have a regular sex life (but also a real life) you absolutely need to make yourself the promise that you will try to stop caring about "feeling nervous" or "not feeling social" and do your best to talk to ask the girl out.
Just like anything in life, lasting success is about being consistent and not relying on perfect circumstances to put in the work.
#6 Social Freedom is Earned (And You Should Be Proud Of Yourself)
Even to a greater extent than bodybuilding, getting good grades and making lots of money - being able to talk to any girl you want is TOTALLY EARNED.
It's a doable goal but you have to earn it.
I'll never forget coming home after my first 18 months in Hollywood and going out with some old hockey friends one night.
It was like I was a totally different person, making out with girls (obviously this doesn't mean that much), getting phone numbers and introducing different groups of chicks to my friends while I was completely sober.
I realized that I had really earned it.
The average guy, even guys that sleep with a lot of chicks from their circles, can't talk to girls they don't know that well.
I didn't think the "Get Hung" guide would have girls eyeing my bulge. It did.
I didn't think that your exercise and diet advice would have girls checking me out. It did.
I DEFINITELY didn't think that your hair-loss prevention would fix my hairline. Not in a billion years. It mother fucking did. You saved me a crazy amount of time, a ton of money, unnecessary pain, and destroyed my #1 source of anxiety. DESTROYED IT.
Kratom is next!
To anyone reading this, follow through, read this material, APPLY this material, and enjoy life.